Some things never change
by guiltypleasureffnet
Summary: Departs from canon following the events in Niahm's kitchen. The final events of the reckoning never happened. Peter goes back to England and stays with family, but something brings him back to Assumpta
1. The Morning

Peter l _e_ t out a moan and rolled onto his side grabbing the pillow from under his head and holding it to his ear in an attempt to muffle the noise. He let out a deep sigh when he discovered this attempt had failed. He reached over in the direction of the bedside table, hoping to find his watch but it wasn't there. His head hurt. His eyes hurt. He felt sick. He took another deep breath, scrunched his eyes and pinched his temples.

 _'How much did I drink last night?',_ he thought to himself.

He slowly opened his eyes knowing he was only delaying the inevitable pain that light would bring. He hitched his breath and felt his body tighten as the harsh light made him flinch. He took another breath, deeper this time.

' _What was I thinking?_ ' he chastised himself under his breath as twisted round, sat up and rubbed his eyes again. He was hoping that by some miracle this action would have provided him with some relief, but it was to no avail.

It took him a few moments to register where he was. His surroundings were unfamiliar and he certainly wasn't at home. The walls were covered with swimming certificates and hand print art. The shelves were full of board books, hand painted ceramics and what looked like a few holiday souvenirs.

" _Where am I_?" he mutterd as he surveyed the room. He knew he was in a child's bedroom; that was glaringly obvious, but whose child and why? He scrunched his eyes shut one more time rubbed his forehead. Peter knew he needed to drink some water and take some paracetomol before his hangover got any worsd, but he daren't get off the bed, let alone venture out of the room. As he took another deep inhale he noticed his brother-in-law sleeping on the floor.

As if on que Toby looked over at his wife's brother and sat up. He looked awful. His complexion was grey, his eyes were bloodshot and Peter got a faint whiff of vomit.

"G _ood night hey_?", Toby said as he rubbed his eyes "bet _ya glad ya came_ ". It was a statement not a question.

Peter nodded and smiled in acknowldgement. He was trying really hard to remember everything that happened last night, but some bits were fuzzy and others seemed completely missing.

He recalled Toby inviting him to join his friends at 'Spoons to watch England in the World Cup. But he couldn't for the life of him remember who suggested having a shot each time the team missed an opportunity. Judging by his headache, the national team had done badly.

He seemed to remember a couple of attractive women hanging around Toby and his friends, one of whom looked deeply dissapointed when Toby flashed his wedding ring.

Peter had never really understood what women saw in Toby until recently, especially his sister; they were complete opposites. Anne was educated, moral, polite and kind. She would much rather spend the night reading or at the cinema than be out on the town. Toby on the other hand was loud, could be brash and at times was wholly insensative. Over the last two years Peter had spent an increasing amount of time in Toby's company and it was clear he adored Anne and the children. Peter had decided a while ago that although Toby was a bit rough--ready with a take-me-or-leave-me attitude, he really was a decent bloke.

 _"I think I'm a dead man_ ", Toby said surveying the room the two men had slept in

" _You and me both_ ", Peter replied in an attempt to lighten the mood, but Toby was looking really worried.

Toby's next statement hung in the air like a bad smell " _She was really angry_ ".

*

Peter's thoughts drifted back to last night. He remembered walking back to his sister's house arm in arm with his brother-in-law, both of them cursing their national team's continuing failure to perform under pressure. Like any good England supporter both men felt they could do a better job then the current manager and coach. Considering their team's abismal performance and 4-nil defeat they were both in good spirits. The two men laughed as they came up with various ingenious ways they could assassinate the England manager giving Toby the opportunity to be elivated from his current job (a window salesman) to the coverted position. Their jovial attitude continued until they reached the driveway. Toby had said something about making sure Anne didn't know he was drunk and had been determined to enter his home independently. He let go of Peter's arm and after a few paces he fell. In fact his attempt was such a spectacular failure it probably would've won him £250 on 'Britian's Funniest Home Videos'. Toby stumbled forward into his wife's car. Then with no warning he turned and vomited. Peter had erupted into hysterics upon seeing his sister's car covered in sick and knowing that there was no way his sister was letting that man anywhere near the marital bed anytime soon. The memory brought a smile to his face and he let out a small laugh. But no matter how hard he tried, he still couldn't remember how they ended up sleeping in his niece's room.

Peter heard the sound of laughter and footsteps clambering up the stairs and the door flung open. Two young girls ran into the room and practically launched themselves at Toby singing " _Dad, dad, dad, dad, daddy, daddy, dad, dad_ " several times while using Toby as a climbing frame. Neither girl had paid any attention to Peter, who was still sitting on the bed, but he could feel two older eyes boring into him. He looked over towards the doorframe and saw his sister, face like thunder, standing with her arms crossed.

Peter opened his mouth to utter an apology but before anyone had a chance to say anything his eldest niece, Abby, said:

" _You smell bad daddy_ ", and after a momentary pause, " _The room smells bad_ ".

Peter looked at Toby then to Anne and then back to Toby. 'She's really pissed' he thought; he no longer considered Toby's accident funny. He reached up, rubbed his eyes and tried his hardest to seem pathetic and unable to cope with a hangover in a feeble attempt to gain her sympathy. It failed.

" _It smells like a bewery in here_ ", Anne said her voice dripping with disdain and displeasure, then she took one look at Peter, "I _'ve no sympathy for self inflicted illness_ " she spat as she turned round and left. He glanced over to Toby unsure of what to do or say, but before he got a chancdle to speak he heard his sister call her daughters and then they were gone.

*

Later that day Peter was busy cutting vegetables in the kitchen. He was determined to show Anne that he was still a good house guest and he was greatful for everything she and Toby had done for him over the last two years. He knew Anne and Toby were lazy cooks meaning their four person family lived off frozen food, so he thought he would treat them to a homemade sausage and liver casserole just like his mum used to make.

" _What are you doing?_ ", Anne said as she entered the kitchen looking througherly unimpressed by the mess.

" _Making a sausage and liver casserole"_ .

" _why_?",

" _why not?_ "

" _fair enough_ ", she said as she shrugged and walked over to the window on the far side of the room. Peter could tell she was deep in thought. When she had stood in the doorway of her eldest daughter's room she had looked terrible. It was clear to Peter that Anne was was exhausted and regardless of how well she hid it with make-up, it was really beginning to show. He slowly put down the knife and walked tentatively over to her. He stood a couple of paces back and surveyed the garden. He was hoping he could find something to mention to help warm up the tense atmosphere that now existed between the two siblings.

" _Im sorry about earlier. Well this morning, last night, whenever it was..._ ", his voiced trailed off. He was sure she was crying, " _Anne_?" he asked but was met with deathly silence, " _Anne, what's wrong?_ "

His sister turned and leaned against him causing him to wrap his arms around her into a hug. She was crying and with every passing moment she was crying harder, her breath was becoming more ragged and her body was shaking. " _shhhhhhh_ " he whispered " _it'll be alright_ ". He didn't know what he was comforting her from or whether it would be alright, but he assumed that whatever it was she would be able to tackle it. After all, she had been his tailsman when he returned from Ireland.

After a few minutes Anne finally spoke as she took a couple of steps back from her brother, " _I've done something terrible_ ". Peter looked at her perplexed. Anne was a good person who would never do anything bad intentionally. He gestured towards the kitchen table and walked over to the kettle.

Peter made the tea in silence. Neither of them spoke until the two cups were on the table and Peter was seated opposite her.

" _You're going to hate me_ " she said, not much louder than a whisper. Peter shook his head. He could never hate her. Sure, growing up they had their differences, in fact as adults they had more then a fair few altercations but he knew they were siblings and they did love each other. " _I promise I won't_ " he said reaching across the table to take hers, _"what have you done?_ "

She took a deep breath and began to recount her actions from the previous night.

" _I so angry at you and Toby. You both came home drunk, Toby was sick down my car and you woke up the girls_ ", she looked up at him but ensured she didn't meet his gaze, " _after I shoved you both into Abby's room and settled the girls in my bed I did something horrible. Something really really horrible_ ".

She broke down again, placed her head on the table and sobbed. She was almost hyperventilating by the time looked up at Peter again. Peter couldn't fathom what his sister could've done to cause her this much distress.

*

After the incident in Niahm's kitchen Peter had decided that he needed to leave Ballykissangel and severe all ties with the village and its inhabitants. It hadn't been an easy decision because he loved the place, but Assumpta marrying Leo had been his undoing; he couldn't bare to see her with another man and the thoughts of them together made him feel physically sick. He had still been unsure about his vocation when he arrived back in England and his Bishop had suggested another retreat " _on home soil_ " and had heavily implied that an 'English retreat' would better suit Peter's needs, but all-in-all it had made little difference.

The day he had told the Bishop he wanted to leave the priesthood had been liberating. It felt like an oppresive weight had been lifted from his shoulders, that the black dog had been rehomed and that he would be able to serve God in a way that didn't focus on the collection plate.

As soon as he left the Bishop's offices he had wanted to call Assumpta, to tell her he was free but he knew he shouldn't. He knew he couldn't after all that had transpired between them. He hadn't spoken to her, or anyone else in Ballykea for that matter, for over eight months and there was no point in opening new wounds. He wanted her to be happy and a happy marriage is based on love.

' _Assumpta married Leo. Urgo Assumpta loves Leo_ ' he repeated to himself as he walked to Manchester Piccadilly Station and got on a train heading south.

Surprised isn't sufficient to describe how Anne felt when she returned from dropping her kids off at school to find her older brother sitting on her doorstep. They had never been particularly close, yet here he was. They had their ups and downs growing up, with most contention being caused by his blind obedience to the church and her general reluctance to do as she was told. He had been so sure of himself; he knew he wanted to be a priest and would frequently lecture her about the consequences of disobedience towards their parents and teachers, whereas she was unsure about where she wanted her life to go. As they had gotten older and she had moved away to attend university their relationship had changed. Peter had accepted she wasn't like him and she had accepted he wasn't like her. Instead of focusing on their differences the siblings had focused on the things they had in common: they cared about people, they both felt a strong sense of duty and they didn't pass judgement. That was why Peter had sat on her doorstep instead of his brothers'.

*

" _There's nothing you could've done to make me hate you_ ", Peter said reassuringly as he stood up and placed his hand in his sister's back. He crouched down beside her " _Anne, please tell me..._ " he pleaded.

He was too close to her. Anne knew it. Peter was not a violent or aggressive man, but he did have a temper on him. A temper that reminded her of their father's; which was something she would rather forget. She needed to make sure there was some distance between them before she told him what she had done. She stood quickly and made haste towards the downstairs bathroom, ensuring she locked the door behind her.

" _Anne? Anne? Please tell me what's wrong_ ", Peter said through the door, " _I promise I won't judge_ "

Anne bit her lip and leaned her head against the cool tiles on the bathroom wall. She was probably over reacting. Peter would be mad, he would probably shout at her and most likely storm off, but she couldn't face him when she told him. By shutting herself in the bathroom she had ensured that she wouldn't be able to look at him, she wouldn't be able to see the hurt and betrayal in his face. She took a deep breath and said shakily:

" _I told Assumpta where you are and that you're no longer a priest_ ".


	2. The Message

She had waited with bated breath for the barrage of abuse to come through the door, but nothing came. Instead there was silence. A deathly silence. Anne would've preferred verbal abuse. You know where you stand with verbal abuse, but silence...silence was another matter. She began to consider the reasons why he wouldn't have reacted to her revelation, but only two seemed likely. The first reason: he'd left. That was probably the most plausible; years of training and conditioning had resulted in Peter's default response to any difficult situation being withdrawal. He had probably gone off somewhere to think and pray. The second reason: he wasn't mad or upset. Although she tried to convince herself that it was plausable, she knew it wasn't.

It felt like an age before she reached for the lock on the bathroom door. Her hand was trembling slightly as she slid the gold bar across and reached for the door handle.

" _Peter?",_ she said quietly. Too quietly. She knew that unless he had been in her immediate vacinity there was no chance he would've been able to hear her. With nervous anticipation she ventured into the hallway. " _Peter_?", she said again, louder this time. He didn't respond but she did hear shuffling from down the hall.

She made her way slowly towards the livingroom. He heart was pounding in her chest and her stomach was in her mouth. Anne didn't know what she was going to say, if she was entirely honest she knew she couldn't say anything.

*

It had taken Peter months before he had opened up to her about what had happened in Ireland.

As he had recounted the events of the three years he had spent in Ballykissangel her heart had broken for him. She couldn't even begin to comprehend how much turmoil he must've been in, especially as Peter had been certain of his vocation for as long as she could remember. Toby had told her that he wasn't surprised; celibacy was unnatural and he was sure most priests succumbed to lust, but Peter's problem was he was a good man. This comment had resulted in Toby being religated to the sofa for two days; she may not attend mass or take the sacraments, but she had still been raised Catholic and didn't appreciate her husband belittling the priesthood or trivalising her brother's torment.

Initially she couldn't comprehend why Peter hadn't saught laicisation while he was in Ireland or why he hadn't returned once the process was finished. It had taken almost a year for him to divulge that Assumpta was married. That was not something she was expecting.

She had been tidying up the Playmobil that had taken over her diningroom table when Peter had walked in and blurted it out. She didn't know why he had chosen that time to share tgat particular nugget of information, but when he did it seemed so random. After that announcement his actions made more sense.

She pushed open the livingroom door and scanned the room for her brother. She felt a mild sense of relief when she saw him looking at the family photos on the bookshelf.

*

Anne's announcement had knocked Peter for six. He couldn't breathe. He had felt anger engulf him like a tidal wave. Peter didn't know what he had expected Anne's revelation to be, but it certainly wasn't that. He knew he had to distance himself from his sister otherwise he may say something he would regret. He'd done that before. His thoughts drifted back to the words he had spoken in Fitzgerald's kitchen: " _This. Is. It_ ". Years later those three little words still tormented him and haunted his dreams. Those three words that had driven her into Leo's arms.

"S _tupid_ " he said to himself under his breath. He hadn't driven Assumpta into Leo's arms, he didn't have that power over her. True, there had always been something hanging in the air between the landlady and the priest, things left unsaid, little moments that indicated that they both had feelings for eachother that went beyond friendship. Peter had no doubt that there was a level of attraction between them and, on his part at the very least, sexual tension. He had iniatally put his feelings towards Assumpta down to lust and sexual frustration, after all he hadn't always been a priest, but as time passed he knew they were more then that.

He let out a sigh as his eyes fell on a photograph of Anne and Toby on their wedding day. Anne had been 4 months pregnant when the couple had married. The photo showed them facing each other, one hand resting on her stomach and the other holding their partner's hand. It was a lovely picture. Peter had realised that day he was lonely, but he put it down to his nieces and nephews running around the hotel grounds, all of his siblings in good spirits with their respective partners and that Anne had chosen not to have a Catholic wedding. The latter hadn't bothered him as much as it should've, which upon reflection indicated that he might've started to have doubts about his position in the church long before he met Assumpta.

Looking at the happy family photos had helped his anger to subside. Yes, he was still angry and he doubted he could ever really understand why his sister would've had such an extreme response to his and Toby's drunken behaviour. Afterall, it wasn't the first time the pair had been drunk and stumbled back to either Toby's house or Peter's flat.

" _I'm sorry_ ". The words disturbed his train of thought and brought him out of the memory. " _I'm so so sorry"_ , she repeated. Peter turned to face his younger sister. Her eyes were bloodshot and her make-up smudged from tears.

" _I was so...so...very angry_ ", she spoke quietly, " _and so very very tired. It's no excuse. I know it's no excuse..._ " but Peter held up his hand to stop her. He saw her take a short sharp breath.

" _It's fine_ ", he said after a few moments. " _It's not like it would've made any difference_ ".

*

Assumpta was having a bad day. She had listened to the voicemail on the answering machine at least six times already, and when she wasn't listening to it she was replaying it in her head. She had several questions floating around in her mind ' _who was the woman on the phone_?', ' _why was she phoning her?_ ', ' _why should she care what Peter was doing_?', and of course ' _Peter_ '. Peter had never truly left her head, no matter how hard she tried. She had even dragged Leo into her misery; Leo a man who loved her unconditionally and was willing to give up everything to be with her. Unlike some.

" _Any chance of a drink Assumpta?_ " asked Brendon snapping her from her thoughts, " _somethin' on your mind_?",

" _Only that my best customer never graces me with his presence now he has his own familiy_ " she said curtly,

" _Ahhh, come on Assumpta_ " replied the Headteacher as he watched her pour his drink, " _you know it isn't like that. Come on, what's really up?_ ". Assumpta shook her head and Brandon knew not to push the issue. Sure, she was distracted, but if he pushed it he would probably end up barred. He took a long sip of his drink and watched her go into the kitchen.

Orla was busy washing up when Assumpta entered. She had been a reluctant hire, but with Niamh heavily pregnant and Leo gone Assumpta needed the help. If she was entirely honest she was a little bit jealous of Orla and she was more than a bit resentful of the reason she had ended up in Ballykea. Sure, Father Aiden, Orla's brother, seemed nice enough, but he was a teatotaler and she had convinced herself that had effected her profits. She had found various ways to aviod having conversations with the curate, and only ever spoke to Orla about the pub as a way to try and keep her distance from all things related to St. Joseph's. Niamh had chastised her on more than one occasion for her rudeness and downright miserable attitude towards the newcomers, telling her about how nice Orla was and how wonderful it is to have another young woman in the village to chat to.

Deep down she knew that one priest's drinking habits didn't really effect her income, and she knew the real reason she didn't care much for Orla or Father Aiden. Father Aiden wasn't Peter.

The rest of the day had passed fairly slowly for Assumpta. Tourists came and went, Siobhan had popped in carrying Aisling looking for Brendon, and Donal and Liam asked her if she wanted a pub kitten.

" _A pub kitten?_ ",

" _yeah. You know, a kitten that lives in a pub_ " said Donal,

" _I'm sure she knows what a pub kitten is",_ injected Liam giving his friend a nudge.

It had turned out that Liam and Donal had found a pregnant cat nesting on the edge of one of Brian's developments and rather than contact Siobhan they had decided to sell the kittens in an attempt to make some money. Assumpta had to explain to the men that after the kittens were born they couldn't leave their mother for at least 8 weeks, so unless they were going to look after them they should probably speak with the vet. She couldn't believe two grown men actually thought you could take newborn animals from their mother and sell them.

The only other incident that had broken the monotony of Assumpta's day was when Father Mac had escorted Kathleen into the pub. Assumpta didn't like either of them; Father Mac embodied everything she hated about the Catholic church and the clergy, and Kathleen was a stereotypical condecending nosey neighbour.

" _Good afternoon Mrs McGarvey_ ", Father Frank McAnnally said ensuring he placed an empathsis on her title and surname, " _I assume you are well?_ ",

" _Why yes Father...and you?_ ", she wasn't going to be gouded into an argument by the dinosaur of a Parish priest, she had enough on her mind without adding Father Mac and Kathleen into the mix.

" _Same old, same old_ " he replied, " _two orange juices Assumpta please_ " and motioned for Kathleen sit with him in the far corner.

Father Mac frequented the pub whenever he was in the village, but Assumpta could count on one hand the number of times Kathleen had graced her with her presence. There was something going on and her regulars knew it.

Paidrig had been the first to point out that the couple were hunched over clearly talking in hushed voices, as if they were sharing a secret. Brandon had been the first to dismiss this " _outlandish notion"_ , but Paidrig was like a dog with a bone. He reminded his friends of his stint as an investigative journalist, which they all remembered too well, and vowed he would " _get to the bottom of this rendevous_ " and had hurried out the bar. Soon after Brandon had left and Assumpta was once again alone without her friends.

*

The pub had emptied quickly after last orders and Assumpta was greatful to be able to shut the door on the world outside. All day her mind had been preoccupied by the voicemail. She had wondered what would've happened if she had got out of the shower and answered the phone. Would the caller have actually spoken to her? Would she have been able to ask the questions that had been floating around her mind for the last two years? Not that it mattered anyway.

She walked over to the answer machine. Her finger hovered over the delete button, but instead she pressed play.

" _Hi, I hope I have the right number here. My name's Anne Carpenter. I was calling for Assumpta Fitzgerald, although I guess that might not be her name now...er...anyway...yeah...I was just calling to let her know that Peter is_ l _aicised and ...he is in Brighton, ermmm...in the UK_ ". She stopped the recording, rewound it and played the beginning of the last sentence again: " _Peter is laicised_ ".

*

Assumpta lay on her bed staring at the ceiling thinking about those three words over and over again. " _Peter is laicised, Peter is laicised, Peter is laicised"_. She gave a deep sigh, rolled over onto her side and started crying. It had been two years since Father Peter Clifford had left Ballykissangel, over two years since incident in Niamh's kitchen and their confrontation in the pebestry, but he still lingered in her mind. Some nights she would replay their various interactions, some made her smile, some made her sad and some filled her with a longing for his touch and a warm feeling in her lower abdomen.

She had often thought about what had happened in Niamh's kitchen, how he had confessed that he was always thinking of her, how he didn't feel like a priest, and how he had kissed her neck. That had been the point of no return for their relationship. She had pushed him away because she knew if she didn't the situation would've escalated quickly; she had been sitting on the worktop, he was standing inbetween her legs and they were perfectly placed for a more intimate encounter. It had pained her to push him away, but she cared about him too much to succumb to her own lust filled desires and cause him more inner turmoil by encouraging him to break his vows.

She had hoped that by going to his cottage and demanding that he talk to her they would both admit their feelings for one another and Peter would choose her, but that never happened. Instead Peter had told her it wasn't " _that simple_ " and he needed " _to think_ ".

She had stood there in front of him wanting nothing more than to push him against the wall and kiss him with all the fervour that came with three years of pent-up unresolved sexual tension. She wanted him to close the distence between them and have his wicked way with her against the cottage door. But neither had happened, and if she had been entirely honest with herself, she never really expected him to react any differently to how he did. She was merely a temptress sent to test his faith and his resolve. They may have " _moved on_ ", but she had clearly misjudged his feelings for her. He didn't love her; he lusted after her. Afterall, if he loved her, really loved her like Leo did, he would've given up everything for her.

Then why did this man still have such power over her? She asked herself. She didn't understand. It had been over two years ago since they had last spoken. Over two years since the incident in the kitchen. Two years since he severed all ties with Ballykissangel. Why couldn't she get him out of her head?

Her mind drifted back to the answer machine. Caller ID meant she had Anne Carpenter's phone number and the woman had even told her where Peter was.

" _I need to end this_ " she said to herself.


	3. Charlotte

_**A/N** : Thank you for the reviews and follows. :) _FYI contains lime but not quite lemon

*

Toby tried really hard not to wake his wife as he climbed into bed. He had spent the day at the eXcel in London browsing the stalls and listening to talks on the latest innovations in energy saving windows. He was tired, it was gone midnight, and he wasn't in the mood to have an argument about their sleeping arrangements. Anne had been so mad he assumed he would be spending at least two nights on the sofa, but as they hadn't really spoken today he thought he'd take his chance. Anyway, he wanted his own bed.

Just as he managed to successfully climb under the covers without disturbing his wife the phone rang. Panic engulfed him as he grabbed the receiver, ' _people only call at this time of night with bad news'_ he thought.

The sound of the phone ringing had woken Anne from her already broken sleep. She rubbed her eyes and glanced to the clock on the bedside table: " _00:42_ ". As soon as she registered the time a wave of panic swept over her. " _What_ 's _happened_?", she said quietly hoping that her voice hadn't drowned out ther person on the other end of the line, but he didn't answer.

"W _hat's happened_?" she asked again, this time with a look of sheer panic and desperation on her face.

Toby turned, looked his wife straight in the eyes, holding out the receiver for her : " _you tell me_ ".

*

Peter's day had been so busy he'd barely had time to think about anything beyond work.

He'd spent a couple of hours wandering around the Lanes looking for a couple of clients recovering from heroin additction, another hour or so with a teenage mother whose parents had kicked her out of the family home, he'd taken one of his homeless clients for lunch and brought him some clean underwear and socks, and when he had finally managed to get back to the office to do some paperwork he had ended up replying to the emails and returning calls from various other agencies. It was only when he was sitting at his desk his thoughts had drifted to his conversation with Anne and then ultimately to Assumpta.

Peter knew he should be angry with his sister, livid infact, but if he was honest he was only mildly annoyed. He knew his sister had done something he didn't have the nerve or strength to do. It was something that needed to be done. He knew needed closure.

Following his laicisation he had tried to find closure for the events that had occured in Ballykissangel, but everytime he had lost the nerve. He had lost count of the number of times he had picked up the phone and partially dialled the number to Fitzgerald's. He had lost count of the number of times he'd started to write her a letter. He'd lost count of the number of times he had needed to take both hot and cold showers because she was on his mind. He felt guilty that she was the first thing he thought of in the morning and the last thing he thought of at night.

He often wondered if she had children by now. What would her children look like? Would Leo insist that they'd be christened? Would the ceremony happen at St. Joseph's? Would Niamh and Brendan would be Godparents? He always found this train of thought quite depressing. Although he wanted Assumpta to be happy he couldn't rid himself of the selfish notion that it should've been him and not Leo. The happy memories and smiling faces created by birthdays, christenings and Christmas dinners, they all should've been his. He knew Assumpta loved Leo, but he had a suspicion that, at least once, she'd loved him to.

" _A penny for them_ ", a voice interrupted.

Peter looked up from his computer and smiled at the woman standing at his desk. Her hand was resting lightly on the top of his monitor, her head titled to one side and with a small smile across her lips. He made a cursory glance around the office to check if anyone was watching before standing up, leaning towards her and taking her hand. He did another quick glance before he slowly brought her hand to his lips and placed light kisses on each of her knuckles and whispered

" _I'll tell you at home_ ".

*

Assumpta's meeting with her supplier had gone as well as could be expected. The winter was always a slow time for revenue, especially as some nights even her regulars wouldn't brave the weather for a pint. She had needed to reduce her order by almost a third to prevent the beer from sitting in the cellar spoiling, which would literally lead to her pouring money down the drain.

Both Brian and Orla had suggested she consider diversifying; hire a chef, focus more in food, create a gastropub atmosphere like a few of the pubs in Cilldargan. Brian had even offered to put up the funds, if she gave him a stake in her buisness. Not wanting to give Brian the satisfaction she had dismissed the idea, but the more she thought about it, the more the idea seemed to make sense. But either way, she didn't need Brian Quigley's money.

After the lunchtime rush, which consisted of Paidrig and Siobhan ordering sandwiches and a pint of Harp, she was finally able to sit down and reflect on last night's telephone conversation.

Assumpta wasn't sure of what to make of the brief conversation she had with Anne Carpenter. She could tell the English woman was reluctant to speak, but she wasn't sure if that was to do with the man who had answered the phone, or because it was approaching one in the morning. Assumpta had apologised for the time of her call, but the apology had been half hearted; after all, this woman had left a random message on her answer phone telling her that Peter had been laicised knowing, or assuming, this information would cause an emotional response.

In the brief time the two women had spoken, Assumpta had learnt that Anne Carpenter was Peter's younger sister. Anne had called Assumpta in a fit of rage following a drunken incident with her brother, spouse and car. She had practically begged Assumpta to forget they had ever spoken and when Assumpta had told her she couldn't do that, the English woman had started to cry. After listening to Anne cry and mumble apologies for several minutes Assumpta decided to obtain the final piece of information she needed. She wasn't sure why, but Anne Carpenter had been surprisingly forthcoming.

Even at the time Assumpta had found Anne's response to her request to be somewhat odd, but now she had time to think about it she had come up with three possible reasons. The first, and arguably the most likely, was that Anne was embarrassed and wanted Assumpta off the phone. This was highly likely, because quite frankly, her behaviour was embarressing. The second was that Anne felt guilty for dragging a complete stranger into a random argument with her husband and brother, and wanted to end the conversation quickly. Again, this was likey because her behaviour not only seemed irrational but also completely out of proportion. The third and final senaro was that Anne knew that Peter had feelings for her. She desperately wanted the third senaro to be true, but she knew he didn't. If Peter had feelings for her he would've told her he had saught laicisation, he would've come back to Ireland, to Ballykea, to her. Instead he stayed in England.

She reached into her pocket and took out the folded piece of paper. _'I wonder_...' she thought aloud.

*

The short car journey back to their flat had felt like hours rather than 20 minutes. Charlotte could tell Peter was preoccupied and the lack of discussion told her he didn't want to talk about it. She knew he'd argued with his sister the other day and whatever words had been exchanged must've been sharper than any of their previous arguments to make him this withdrawn.

Peter had been looking and acting particularly stressed of late, but she put that down to an increased caseload at work and the iminent pay restructuring caused by cuts to public services, but now she was starting to think there was something else to account for his uncharacteristic behaviour.

The more she thought about it the more annoyed she had become at Peter's sister. She knew Anne would've been able to tell that Peter was stressed and whatever had transpired between the two siblings had made the situation a hundred percent worse. As they pulled up outside their building Charlotte had decided she would do something to make him feel better and forget about his stupid argument with his busy-body sister.

" _I'll put the tea on_ ", Peter said as he took off his shoes, jacket and loosened his tie. He had only made it a few paces down the hall before Charlotte had grabbed his wrist and moved towards him. Within seconds she was leaning against him, the length of her body pushed against his, her mouth next his ear. " _I'm not hungry"_ she said quietly, " _not for food anyway_ ". Almost as soon as the words left her mouth she gently pushed him backwards against the wall. She ran one hand down his chest while the other undid the buttons of his shirt. She placed several quick kisses onto his exposed skin, while using her free hand to loosen his belt.

Peter stood there, his back against the wall unsure of what to do. Charlotte didn't know that he had spent the drive home daydreaming about another woman, why would she? He'd never mentioned Assumpta and had only given her an abridged version of what had happened in Ireland. When he had spoken to Charlotte about his time in Ballykissangel he had only ever referred to Assumpta as " _the publican_ ", with the institution of the church as the reason he'd left the priesthood, not that he'd made a clumsy, and rejected, sexual advance towards his friend.

For over a year he had tried to fool himself into believing that his continuing feelings for Assumpta were the product of a long held infatuation that would weaken when he met someone else. He had even saught Toby's advice, but unsurprisingly his brother-in-law had crassly told him to _"just get laid_ ". It wasn't long after he had recieved the final paperwork from Rome that he had met Charlotte. It had been a cold day and the canteen at work was unusally busy with people queuing for a hot lunch. It was like a scene from a corney American chick-flick; Charlotte was in front of him at the till holding her lunch tray, Peter had felt someone push him and he fell into her. Neither of them had actually fallen over, but Charlotte's lunch had ended up on the floor and Peter had helped her clean it up. To make it up to her he had taken her out for dinner that night and things evolved from there. Unlike Assumpta, Charlotte wanted him, he just needed to look at his current state of undress to see that. Then why wasn't Charlotte, beautiful, kind and caring Charlotte enough?

He could feel his desire building as he looked down at his girlfriend who was kneeling in front of him. Staring into his eyes she used one hand to finish undoing his trousers and ran the other up and down his leg. He knew he had to break eye contact otherwise he wouldn't have the strength to stop what was unfolding in their hallway. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He needed to stop this; it wasn't fair on her.

She was just about to remove the last piece of fabric between them when Peter told her to stop. She could tell his breathing had become rapid and she could see his arousal, " _what?_ _why?_ " she asked, confused.

Peter had turned away from her, trying to avoid eye contact while he fumbled with his belt and trousers.

" _It's not...it's not right_ ", he mumbled as he did up his shirt buttons. " _I mean...it's not fair on you"._

" _you could always return the favour_ " she said with a sly smile as she stepped closer to him reaching out for his arm, but as soon as she touched him he flinched,

She let out a frustrated sigh, " _Seriously Peter?",_ but her comment was met with silence. " _We've done much more then that. For. Goodness. Sake. For once, just once, could you save your guilt for the confession box_ " she said out of frustration. It was always the same; after any type of sexual contact he would feel guilty and more often then not he would retreat into himself to consider the implications of what they had done.

Charlotte had tried to convince herself that given his history his behaviour was understandable, and that in time he would feel less guilty about their level of intamacy, but her patience was starting to wear thin. Little did she know that his guilt was caused by his desire for her to be someone else and not his complicted relationship with God.

Although she had been slowly losing her paitence with his intimacy issues, she did regret what she had said,

" _I'm sorry Peter, it was wrong of me to say that. It's just...just...I think it's better said now then five or ten years down the line"._

She stood there staring at his back as she spoke. When she said " _five or ten years down the line_ " she heard a sharp inhale of breath, she saw his shoulder and neck muscles tighten. It dawned on her: ' _he doesn't see us together five or ten years down the line_ '. Suddenly a feeling of dread came over her, she felt sick and light headed,

" _Peter_?" she asked with urgency, but her boyfriend said nothing. " _Peter_?", this time her voice was more commanding, " _Peter, look at me"_.

The couple stood looking at each other, neither saying a word, both unsure of what was about to transpire. Peter took a breath as he stepped forward; his stomach was in his mouth and his heart was pounding. He could see that she was about to cry; her body was tense, she was holding her breath and she was shaking everso slightly.

 _"I need to end this_ ", he said.


	4. Pipedream

_**A/N** : I know this doesn't flow as well as the previous chapters and I know I'm not great at writing dialogue_.

*

 _"A bit osentatious for a kid's birthday party don't ya think?_ " asked Brendon as he surveyed the array of pirate and Dinsey princess party decorations that had taken over his garden and livingroom.

" _Hardly_ " Assumpta responded with a snort, " _if you think this is osentatious then you've forgotten about Niamh's 'hardly a wedding reception_ '".

Brendon chuckled and smiled, _"I dunno - I think this is the pinnacle of good taste"_ he gestured towards the garish mess of jumbled party decorations.

Unlike some, Assumpta hadn't been surprised by how well Brendon had taken to fatherhood. She remembered a conversation she'd overheard between Brian and Father Mac discussing how an ' _old bachelor_ ' would struggle with the change in lifestyle a child would bring, primarily that he wouldn't be able to spend his free time hanging around the pub or fishing. It was true that following Aisling's birth Brendon had spent significantly less time at both Fitzgerald's and by the river Angel, but the teacher had taken it in his stride. There wasn't a single glimmer of regret or resentment in his eyes whenever he spoke of Aisling. He had even been known to state that the " _The Lily of Ballykissangel"_ was the best thing that had ever happened to the village.

" _Let me guess"_ Siobhan said, " _he's told you this is all too osetntatious right?_ "

Assumpta rolled her eyes. She was about to speak when she felt a tug on her skirt, " _sum-sa_ " a small voice said, " _sum-sa up_ ".

" _Leave Sum-Sa be sweetie_ " Brendon said as he bent down to pick up his daughter, " _she's busy admiring your party decorations"_.

The party passed as quickly as it could for a childless adult. She made some small talk with Paidrig and Ambrose, had watched Ciarán while Niamh spent an obscene amount of time in the toilet, and she had even acknowledged Father Aiden. All had been well until Brian had decided to take the opportunity to talk to her about his gastropub idea. She would normally tell him to bog off, but the jovial atmosphere and smiling faces had left her feeling more amenable. She only half heartedly listened to his ramblings as she watched her friends and their children play.

As she walked back to the pub she began to feel a bit wistful. It was a beautiful evening and she could hear the faint sounds of the River Angel making its way over stones and under the bridge. She looked up the road towards St Joseph's and let out a heavy sigh.

She tried not to dwell on what she had done to Leo and how unfair it was that she had dragged him into her drama. Leo was head-over-heels in love with her but he didn't make her happy. She had tried to fool herself into thinking that with time her affection for him would grow and she had outright lied to him about her feelings. Instead of being honest, she had let their marriage crumble around them, making no effort to save it. All due to her unrequieted love for the former village priest.

When Assumpta finally entered the pub Orla could see that something was weighing heavily on her mind. As an act of kindness she had offered to stay until closing, which the publican had eagerly accepted. After the last few stragglers had left and Orla was giving the bar a final wipe down Assumpta appeared holding a bottle of port,

" _Drink with me?"_ , the publican asked, but made no attempt to sit down or get a glass for her companion. It was clear from Assumpta's demeanour thay she had already been drinking and she didn't allow Orla to respond before she started speaking again,

" _I've been a right cow to you haven't I?",_ she said without expecting an answer, "I _mean...it's not your fault ya know", she paused, "it's not your brother's fault either, or even Father Mac...it's just...just...he's not him and your here because he's not him_ ". She wasn't making much sense and it was obvious to Orla that the landlady was very inebriated and needed to sleep it off.

" _It's fine Assumpta, let's get you some water and put you to bed_ ",

" _No, it's not fine_ " she interjected, but Orla was already helping her up the stairs.

*

The next morning when Orla entered the kitchen she found Assumpta staring at a small piece of paper. She wasn't going to bring up the events of the previous night for fear embarressing the publican, but the way Assumpta needed to get something off her che looked at her when she entered the room made her think she was waiting to be asked.

" _How you feelin'_?"

 _"A bit worse for wear"_ , she responded, " _I'm sorry about last night. I've been somewhat preoccupied of late"_

Orla smiled and sat down at the table, " _you could always call him ya'know...if you miss him that badly_ ". Assumpta's eyes shot up in horror. Had she said something last night that she didn't remember?

" _I mean, wh_ _at have you got to lose? Worse case senario: it changes nothing_ ", she said as she stood and made her way to the door. " _After all, he is your_ _husband_ ".

*

Peter had spent the night in the car, but he needed to get ready for work. As he opened the front door he was unsure if he should announce his presence so not to startle Charlotte, but when he heard the shower running he decided it would be best to be in and out as quick as possible.

As he made his way towards the bedroom he felt a sense of guilt and regret. A soon as he had spoken those words he had seen the pain wash over his girlfriend's face. Her breathing had become more rapid, she was biting her lip and her eyes swelled with tears. It was like a mirror image of the incident in Fitzgerald's kitchen over two years prior. He had felt a sudden surge of panic and his intial response had been to prevent history repeating itself. He had wanted to go to her, to apologise, to take it back; just like what he should've done to Assumpta. Instead he had thought better of it and turned away from her, unable to witness her pain.

He quickly started putting a few things in a bag consciencely making sure he had enough shirts and ties to prevent people at work getting susipious. He was so focused on what he was doing that didn't hear Charlotte enter the room.

" _Why don't you love me anymore?_ " she asked quietly. Her voice made his body tense up. 'If only it were that simple' he thought to himself. He didn't respond and continued rolling up his ties.

" _Peter_?" she asked. He knew that by ignoring her he must've seemed heartless. He desperatley wanted to tell her that it wasn't that simple, that things weren't that black and white, but he had made that mistake before and he didn't want to do it again.

" _Why don't you love me anymore?_ " she said again except this time she was standing closer to him. In fact she was standing so close that he could smell the lime scented the bodywash she'd used in the shower. He closed his eyes again, willing her to step back and give him some personal space. When it became abundantly clear that she wasn't going to move, Peter turned to face her. He had every intention of telling her to move out of his way, but when he opened his mouth the words didn't, couldn't, come out.

He stood there looking at her. She was staring at him, her eyes pleading for him to give her answers she didn't want to hear. He could see her skin was still damp from the shower with only a bath towel protecting her modesty. At that moment he thought he must've lost his mind. In front of him was a woman who wanted him, a woman who loved him, a woman who he'd hurt because of a pipedream of an infatuation with a former friend.

He knew he needed to rectify his mistake before it was too late. He was making too many mistakes at the moment and so many of them felt like an echo of the past. He stepped forward and kissed her. When she responded he knew he was forgiven, but inbetween fervid kisses he kept repeating apologetic words regardless.

*

It had been an age since the Carpenter's had sat down to a proper Sunday roast. Their normal Sunday dinners consisted of fish fingers and chips, chicken nuggets and chips, turkey dinosaurs and chips, pretty much anything and chips. This Sunday was different because this Sunday they had guests.

It was no great secret that Anne and Charlotte weren't exactly best friends. Toby had chided Anne on many occasions for her aloof behaviour and eye rolls whenever Peter's girlfriend was nearby. Anne claimed to have tried " _really really hard_ " to like her, but she couldn't cope with how softly spoken and " _nice_ " she was. She had told Toby, and her other brother Mark, on several occasions that " _nobody is that nice_ ". Charlotte on the other hand claimed she had wanted to like Anne but she just didn't. She found her boyfriend's sister far too highly strung for a stay-at-home-mum with far too much time on her hands. On top of that she had discovered that Anne held a first class honors degree in Political Science, which not only intimidated Charlotte but she couldn't understand how someone with Anne's intelligence could be happy spending her days doing house work and running around after kids.

The tension between the two woman had made the time pass excruciatingly slowly, with the only comedic relief being provided by Abby telling Peter and Charlotte why you can't have chips with a roast dinner. Although this had resulted in laughter from all four adults, Charlotte knew that there was something else hanging in the air and it was something she was not privvy to.

After they had finished eating Peter had volunteered to take the plates to the kitchen. When Anne had protested he'd volunteered Toby to help him, much to Toby's displeasure. Clearly seeing that her brother wanted to speak with her husband Anne suggested that she and Charlotte take the girls out into the garden.

Meanwhile Peter leaned against one of the kitchen cupboards while he watched Toby load the dishwasher. The man was making a point of huffing about, occasionally throwing Peter dirty looks, clearly irritated that he'd been volunteered to tidy the kitchen instead of playing with his children. After a few minutes of awkward silence Peter began to tell Toby about the incident in the hallway:

" _I don't want to hear the details of your sex life_ " the man had said several several times before he finally allowed Peter to tell him he'd almost ended his relationship with Charlotte.

" _But she's so...nice_ ", Toby had responded,

 _"I know_ ",

" _She adores you_ ",

" _I know_ ",

" _Come'n Peter mate, the woman clearly loves you...for some unknown reason. Don't you love her?_ " Toby said with a slight grin.

 _"I know, and I do. I really do",_ Peter sighed, "I _just can't stop thinking about Assumpta Fitzgerlald"._

Peter explained how Assumpta crept into almost every waking moment and how he imagined it was her when he and Charlotte made love. He felt such an intense sense of shame admitting that he frequently thought about another woman while he slept with his girlfriend. Toby had tried to be empathetic but he struggled to understand how Peter could claim to love Charlotte while imagining her to be someone else. Sure, role play was one thing, but what Peter had divulged was something very different. Toby had felt the need to remind Peter that Charlotte was a real flesh and blood woman, not a pipedream of someone he used to know. Someone, by Peter's own admission, he had lusted after for almost three years and that was hardly something worth throwing away a perfectly good relationship over.

Charlotte couldn't think of anything she would hate more then spending the afternoon sitting in the Carpenter's garden making small talk, and she really didn't really like to be alone with Anne for any length of time. As a way to delay the inevitable awakwardness Charlotte excused herself to go to the toilet before venturing into the garden. Just as she was about to close the bathroom door she heard part of the exchange between the two men in the kitchen:

" _...I don't have any problems in that department, alright?"_ , she heard Peter say before there was a momentary pause.

" _She called here the other night, ya know. At one in the morning. Had Anne in hysterics for hours_ ",

" _who?_ ",

" _Assumpta Fitzgerald_ _you numpty_ ", there was a long pause, " _She basicially bullied Anne into giving her_ _your number._ "

Charlotte quietly closed the bathroom door. Who was Assumpta Fitzgerald?


	5. Some Things Never Change

_**A/N** : Thanks for the reviews and follows._

 _Really really short chapter guys. I had more, but after editing this seemed like a logical place to end it._ _TBH I could probably end the story here, but_ _that wasn't my intention, so I probably won't_.

*

Assumpta and Michael had been listening to Paidrig's latest theory on the secret conversation between Father Mac and Kathleen.

" _Come on Paidrig, it's hardly a clandestine conversation if they were having it in the pub now, is it_?" Michael had pointed out, but Paidrig had chosen to ignore the doctor's comment

"I _think he's vying to become Bishop when the old codger dies_ " he had said triumphantly.

" _Oh for goodness sake Paidrig_ "

" _Nah, seriously, think about it Assumpta. They were both always on Father Peter's back, now they are on Father Aiden's back; they're squashing the competition_ ", he looked at the publican and the Dr with a triumphant smile, " _they're probably constructing a list of gossip driven reasons why no one else would be suited for the role"_.

As soon as Assumpta saw the expression on Michael's face she had to leave the bar before she burst into laughter. As she waled towarda the kitchen she heard Michael say, " _that's not how the church works Paidrig...well not anymore anyway_ " which made her chuckle.

The absurdity of the conversation had put her in good spirits. Whatever Father Mac and Kathleen had been up to that day would've been nothing as interesting as bribery and corruption in order to gain a promotion from the Holy See. It was a bit much, even for Father Mac and the Queen of village gossip.

She was about to return to the bar when she caught sight of a small piece of paper on the kitchen table. Her mind went back to what Orla had said the night before " _...call him...what have you got to lose? Worse case senaro: it changes nothing_ ". Of course, Orla had assumed her drunken ramblings were to do with her estranged husband, not her brother's predecessor, but the more she thought about it the more it seemed like sensible advice.

Assumpta had always been rash and impulsive. It had gotten her into many sticky situations, especially at school, but she knew that if she was going to do what she was considering she needed to do it quickly before she changed her mind.

She opened the door and asked Paidrig and Michael to watch the bar while she made a quick phone call.

*

Peter and Charlotte were dozing together on the sofa when the phone rang. Annoyed that someone was spoiling such a tender moment Peter had every intention of picking up the reciever and putting it straight back down, but for some reason Charlotte lurched across him to grab it. Her sudden movement had startled him, but as she leaned across his body he felt content. He couldn't believe how stupid he had been acting recently. He gently began stroking her hair causing her to turn and smile at him. He loved her smile. It was warm, inviting and friendly. ' _I've been so stupid_ ' he thought

Charlotte continued to smile at him as he spoke down the phone, but her face suddendly dropped. She turned to face Peter and stoically said, " _Assumpta Fitzgerald for you_ ".

Peter almost jumped out his skin when Charlotte had told him who was on the phone. He was momentarily stunned, unsure of what to do. He knew Charlotte should've felt his sudden jerk of movement, but she gave no indication that she had. He looked at her and smiled, hoping to get one in response.

"W _ell_?" she said, gesturing for him to take the phone. He knew he needed to keep it together otherwise Charlotte might put two and two together and make five, or would she make four? But what was four and what was five? He closed his eyes realising he was in far over his head.

"E _rm, hello?_ ", he said quietly standing up and turning his back to Charlotte in a feeble attempt to hide any emotion on his face.

" _Peter_?", his heart skipped a beat. He felt a sudden rush of elvation; it was Assumpta, Assumpta was on the phone, Assumpta was talking to him, " _Peter, how are you_?"

He didn't know what to say; healthwise he was fine, emotionally and mentally he was a messHe had started to believe he'd sorted out his inner turmoil, but now he had heard her voice he felt like he was back in Ballykea, confused, his life a shambles, and living a lie, _"I'm fine. And you_?".

She didn't answer his question, " _Why didn't you tell me?_ ". He could feel Charlotte's eyes boring into his back. " _Peter, why didn't you tell me_?" the Irish woman asked again, this time woth more furvour.

Peter was unsure of what to do; tell the truth and he would lose Charlotte, lie and he would be drawing a line under his relationship with Assumpta. He knew it should've been an easy choice but it really wasn't.

 _"I didn't think you'd wanna know_ ", he finally said, hoping his answer was ambigious enough not to raise any suspicions from Charlotte.

He heard Assumpta take a deep breath and sigh, " _Peter, of course I'd've wanted to know_ ", but he didn't respond. He did consider telling her that he was sorry to hear that, and he failed to see why his life choices would even matter to her, but he knew those words were harsh and would've cut deep. Instead he didn't respond.

" _Peter, Leo's gone_ ", she paused as though considering what to say next, " _He's gone because he wasn't you_ ". Assumpta had hoped he would respond with a declaration of undying love, but instead she was met with yet more silence.

" _Somethings never change_ " she breathed as she hung up the phone.


	6. Confession

A/N: thanks so much for the reviews. I can only log-in through the app atm, so I can't access all the reviews (not sure why). I've been writing this instead of working, but I need to get this story out of my head

Also, Ive referred to Brighton and Hove as a town because it was one of the millennium cities.

*

" _Well, that was strange_ ", Peter said as he walked over and placed the reciever in its cradle, " _I haven't heard from her in years"._

" _Really_?" said Charlotte with raised eyebrows and a slightly troubled expression. Peter wasn't sure if she was making an accusation, but even if it was, he had just told Charlotte the truth; he hadn't heard from Assumpta in years.

" _Yeah. She owned the local pub where I lived in Ireland. Hated the church. Hated the clergy, but we eventually became friends. Interesting woman if I'm honest_ ". Again, not a lie.

" _Friends eh_?",

" _Yes Charlotte. We became friends_ ", he was starting to feel defensive, " _What exactly are you implying?_ "

" _Are_ _you_?", his sudden defensiveness unnerving her slightly.

" _Am I what?_ ",

" _being honest?"_. As soon as the words left her lips she realised she was about to witness a side of her boyfriend she had never seen before. His normal calm manner was gone in an instant and standing opposite her was a very indignant individual.

"O _h for God's sake Charlotte! Seriously? You think I'm carrying on with a woman from Ireland, who I met while I was still a Catholic priest?",_ he took a breath _, "I mean...a Catholic priest Charlotte. Do you seriously think I'd risk excommunication - my eternal soul - by carrying on with a married woman while I was an ordained priest? Seriously Charlotte. Get. A. Grip_ ", he said shaking his head and pacing around the room. Suddenly he walked towards her, " _do you really think so little of me_?" he spat, his face merely a few inches from hers.

Charlotte was stunned by Peter's outburst. She had seen him argue with one of his brothers when they had visited Manchester, and Anne had mentioned several times that he had their father's temper, but she'd never actually witnessed him get so irrate. She looked at him wide eyed unable to understand how her friendly, quiet and placid boyfriend could've lost his temper so quickly; she really must've hit a raw nerve. She opened and closed her mouth several times trying to find the words that she wanted to say, but nothing came out. When she couldn't find her words she had briefly considered slapping him, or pushing him away and storming off, but the intensity of his gaze glued her to her seat.

Charlotte was the first to break their eye contact by glancing at the door and shifting her body weight beneath him. Peter glanced down to see his hands positioned either side of her seated form preventing her from leaving. As he comprehended the magnitude of his body language and tone of his words he took a step back.

" _I'm sorry_ ", he stumbled as he sat back onto the floor, his eyes refusing to meet her gaze, " _I'm sorry I shouted. I'm sorry I lost my temper. I'm sorry that I hurt you. I'm sorry I keep hurting you_. _I don't know what came over me_ " he said quickly. This was then followed by incomprehensible apologetic mumblings.

He looked so dejected sitting on the floor, his head in his hands crying softly. Charlotte slid down onto her knees in front of him and took his hands in hers.

" _You've nothing to apologise for"_ , she said softly as she laced her fingers with his, " _absolutely nothing_ ".

She hoped she was right.

*

Assumpta had been hoping Orla would come into the pub earlier than normal so she could provide her with the most recent development

"I _called him"_ Assumpta said as soon as her companion walked through the doorway, " _but a woman answered_ ".Orla could see her boss was feeling crestfallen and at that moment she felt extremely sorry for her. She couldn't even begin to comprehend how much it would hurt if your partner had run off with another person.

Assumpta had carefully considered the pros and cons of telling Orla more about the man she was pining over and had been desperately in love with for almost five years.

Over the couple of years since Peter had left Ballykissangel she had considered telling Niamh about her feelings for him, but she knew her best friend wouldn't forgive her for Peter leaving, especially as she became the patron of the 'Father Peter Clifford Appreciation Society' after he convinced Ambrose not to join the priesthood. She had also briefly considered telling Brendon but she suspected he knew there was something going on between the pair, whether he assumed it was illicit or not, and she couldn't bare the thought of his smug face as she told him. Orla on the other hand was fresh blood amd had never met Peter so she wouldn't make the connection between them.

" _I'm going to need some dutch courage to tell you this_ " the landlady said as she poured herself and Orla a drink. Her guest sat down opposite her and waited paitently for the landlady to start.

Assumpta was careful to omit certain details from her account of how her relationship with Peter had developed. She never mentioned his name or occupation, instead she told her he was " _very good at his job"_ and " _unavaliable_ ", hoping that Orla would assume he was married. She explained how he was well liked in the village and that they had struck up an unlikely friendship that, she felt at least, had blossomed into something more. She recounted how she felt around him, the glances that lasted a little bit too long, the inside jokes, his kindness towards her and the sexual tension between them when they were physically close.

When she recounted the incident in Niamh's kitchen she suddenly thought she might have given too much away. The fact she had mentioned Niamh meant that Orla would know he was a mutual aquantience of her friend, and may start a process of elimination, but the alcohol had started to take effect so she just carried on with her story. She explained how she had confronted him, wanting nothing more then him to take her in his arms, but ultimately it was the confrontation that had caused him to leave.

Orla sat dumbfounded. While Assumpta had been speaking she had started to piece some things together; " _well liked_ ", " _good at his job_ ", " _Niamh's kitchen_ ", " _unavailable_ " and " _leave_ ".

It dawned on her; Assumpta was talking about Aiden's predecessor: Father Peter Clifford.

*

The bedside radio said 1.38 am meaning he had been trying to sleep for almost 4 hours. He lay in the darkness staring at the cieling, " _he wasn't you_ ", " _he left because he wasn't you"_ kept swirling round in his mind like a whirlpool. He rolled onto his side and looked at the woman sleeping next to him. He knew he was lucky to be sharing his life with someone like her. She had put up with so much over the last week, but she was.still laying in the bed next to him. ' _She must really love me_ ' he thought, ' _so why can't I get Assumpta Fitzgerald out of my head_?'.

He quietly slipped out of bed making sure not to wake his sleeping girlfriend and slowly crept along the hall. Making as little noise as possible he put on his shoes and grabbed his car keys.

Forty minutes later he was standing in the cold waiting for someone to answer the door. It had started to rain on the drive over, which was fine while he was in the car, but pyjamas certainly weren't suitable attire for standing in the rain. He reluctantly pushed the bell again and waited. Still no amswer. He began to walk up the driveway considering the stillness of the house to be a sign from God, but a voice from behind him called " _Peter? I_ _t's 2.30 in the morning. What are you doing here?_ " the older man looked at his brother-in-law's attire and asked, " _she kicked you out?"_

Peter shook his head solemnly and responded, " _Can I used your phone?_ "

Toby looked slightly perplexed as he opened the door fully and stepped out of Peter's way

" _Errr, yeah, sure, but use the one in the livingoom. I'll close the door so not to wake the kids_ ", Peter nodded in acknowledgement. " _Let yourself out when youre done, yeah_?" he said as he closed the door.

*

Toby stood at the bottom of the stairs wondering if he should interevene in whatever level of crazy Peter was about to embark on. He knew if he told his wife she would insist on it, but right now he just didn't have the strength to deal with whatever drama he was now complicit in. So resigned to his fate as a key conspirator in whatever was about to occur he went back to bed.

*

Peter had been sitting in the far corner of the Carpenter's livingroom holding the telephone reciever for at least five minutes. He had started to dial the number several times before pushing the switchook and wondering what he was doing. He was 30, living with his girlfriend, spent day-in-day-day-out helping the vulnerable of the town, yet he had driven 50 miles to make a secret phone call rather than confronting his feelings in the open like an adult. Would he ever learn from his past mistakes? He hadn't confronted his feelings two years ago, and where did it get him? Sitting in his sister's livingroom, in the dark about to call the one person he felt was responsible for his torment. It was like something out of a poorly written story. Finally he decided to bite the bullet.

" _Hello_?" said a sleepy female voice on the other end of the line

"' _Sumpta_?" he asked quietly

" _Peter_?",

He took a deep breath. ' _Now or never'_ he thought.

"' _Sumpta let me speak. Let me say this without any interruptions_ ", he paused momentarily to gather his thoughts but before he knew it the words came tumbling out,

" _When I came to Ireland, to Ballykea, my life changed. My life changed because of you. I would go to sleep thinking or you. I would wake up thinking of you. I would say mass, take a funeral or a wedding and I'd be thinking of you. I'd say the words, but it was always you I was thinking of. When you married Leo my heart broke. The thought of him with you, touching you made me sick. I couldn't bear to be near you knowing that he was the one with you. I wanted to be the one touching you. Holding you. I wanted to be the one beside you. I thought if I left, put some real distence between us, then I'd get over you. You loved Leo, but I loved you. I still love you. But it failed. I failed. I try and try to forget you but I fail. I fail because it always comes back to you. I love you Assumpta Fitzgerald. Always have, always will. I love you_ ".

It had felt wonderful to actually say it all, but when he heard her crying softly down the phone he felt dejected. He was about to offer an apology, something he had become an expert at of late, but she spoke first.

" _Peter, shall I to come to England?_ "

*

Charlotte felt liked she'd been run over by a lorry. She had heard Peter leave the flat in the early hours and when he had returned he never came back to bed. Instead she found hin sitting at the table eating cereal and reading the daily newspaper. She was unsure whether to broach the subject of his late night absence, primarily because she wasn't really sure that she wanted to know.

Over the last week everything had seemed to fall apart. She had always known Peter was holding something back, unable to give himself entirely to her, but she had convinced herself it was to do with his complicated relationship with the church. Not long after they had first met he'd explained that he was a laicised priest, meaning that although he had retained his orders due to his sacramental character, he is forbidden from using them. Charlotte understood that this meant there was always a part of him that belonged to the church and that he could never fully belong to her; she had thought she was okay with that, but now she was beginning to realise that she wasn't.

As she sat eating breakfast she tried to pinpoint when things had started to go wrong, but up until last week all she could recall were happy memories. Even between Peter's impromptu announcement ending their relationship, to him crying on the livingroom floor, they had been happy. In fact, during that period their love making had been the most passionate in their entire relationship. Then she remembered: a week ago he had a big to-do with Anne.

*

Once they had arrived at the office and gone to their respective floors Charlotte had rearranged her mid-morning clinets so that she would have time to drive to Eastbourne and back. She had decided that whatever had happened between Peter and his sister had been the catalyst for his irratic behaviour towards her and she was determined to find out what had transpired.

*

Anne was taking the bins out when she noticed her brother's girlfriend sitting in her car at the end of the drive. She tapped on the window and asked " _Charlotte? Are you okay?_ ". The younger woman looked at her and slowly shook her head. She looked exhausted and her eyes were puffy from crying.

" _Charlotte, I know I'm probably one of the last people on earth you'd want to talk to about whatever is upsetting you, but please come in for a cuppa_ ", she said with a sympathetic smile.

Charlotte had followed Anne into the house and stood in the kitchen watching her flit between kettle and cups before asking,

" _What did you do before you decided to be a stay-at-home-mum?_ ",

"I _worked in global development as a political strategist_ ", Anne said nonchalantly, " _why_?"

" _no reason_ ", she said as she looked at the floor mentally cursing her feeble attempt at trying to make small talk with a woman she had nothing in common with, " _what did you and Peter argue about last week?"_

Ah, thought Anne." _Oh, nothing much_ " she said as she stirred the milk into the cups, " _him and Toby went out, got drunk, they were in such a state Toby threw up on my car and they woke up the girls. They created such a racket the girls came into my bed and Toby and Peter slept in Abby's room. I was annoyed because it was a school night_ ", Charlotte looked at Anne unsure how to proceed,

" _Is Peter seeing someone else?"_ she said quickly to try and catch the other woman off guard,

Anne turned around looking genuinly shocked by the question, " _no of course not, why would you think that?_ ",

" _Then who's Assumpta Fitzgerald?_ "

Anne tried her hardest to look confused, " _Peter knew an Assumpta McGarvey back in Ireland, its an odd name, maybe its her_?"

Charlotte raised her eyebrows gesturing for the older woman to continue,

 _"I don't know much about her to be honest. She married some bloke who didnt like Peter, probably 'cos they were friends and he was a simular age to her. It was a small place, so I cant imagine there were many young people about. That's it really. Why'd you ask?"_.

Charlotte surveyed the woman standing in front of her unsure whether to believe her account. Either way, she felt as though her relationship was falling apart and she still didn't know why.

She could feel tears building in her eyes, " _I should go_ ", she said as she headed for the front door determined not to cry in front of Anne again. Anne considered following her, but knew she couldn't provide the answers that she needed.

Anne glanced at her watch as she poured the tea down the sink, ' _I wonder if I could make confession before picking up the kids_ ' she thought.


	7. Just Another Personal Crisis

Niamh was on day nine of her mandatory bed rest and she was starting to feel like she was losing her mind. Everyone always says that your first pregnancy is always the worst, but she had dismissed that old wive's tale long ago. It had been relatively easy carrying Ciaren, minus the bouts of morning sickness and desperate hunger, but this baby was really being a difficult bugger. As she lay on top of the bed covers she longed for the easy days where her primary pregnancy complaint was wanting a roast dinner for breakfast.

She heard the front door latch click and Ambrose call " _I'm home_ " from the bottom of the stairs, " _but can't stop got'ta go see the Superintendent but wanted to change me socks_ ". Niamh rolled her eyes and tried to remind herself what had attracted her to Ambrose in the first place, as she let out a frustrated sigh she smiled to herself. She knew it was his fumbling ways, silly smile and good heart.

She heard his footsteps as he ran up the stairs and came over to her. He placed a tender kiss on her forehead and swollen stomach, wished them both well and darted off as quickly as he entered.

Although she missed Ciaran, she was glad that Imelda was looking after him in Dublin at the moment. She didn't have the energy to be entertaining a two year old, and Michael had said she need to avoid " _any activity likely to cause your blood pressure to rise_ ". ' _Fat chance of that_ ' she scoffed as she looked at the piles of magazines, wordsearches and books laying on the opposite side of the bed, ' _nothing interesting ever happens around here_ '.

*

" _What's got you in such a good mood_ " chirped Brendon as he took a long sip of his lunchtime pint while eyening Assumpta sucpisiously.

The landlady shrugged her shoulders, " _aren't people allowed to be in a good mood Brendon?_ " she said as she bent down to pick up the bar mats she'd knocked on the floor while cleaning

" _But_ _you aren't people now, are you Assumpta_?" he said smiling, but his attempt at jovility was met with a dirty look and her moving to the other end of the bar to help some confused tourists.

*

Not many people had bothered to come and see Niamh during her nine days of confinement and she was beginning to wonder if anyone had even noticed she'd not been around. Sure, if she'd still been pulling pints at the pub they would've noticed, but Ambrose had put a stop to that a couple of months ago when she'd started bleeding.

She was annoyed that Assumpta, her supposid best friend, hadn't bothered to visit. She knew that the publican would be busy now she wasn't picking up any shifts, but she could still find, or make, time to pop in on her. Just as she began to feel her anger boiling the doorbell went and she slowly waddled down the stairs; she decided that even if it was the postman she'd make idle chit-chat because she was bored of only speaking to her husband, dad, mother-in-law and doctor.

When Niamh opened the door she was greeted by Orla carrying a VHS of the English tv series 'Pride and Prejudice' in one hand and a large bar of chocolate in the other.

Niamh gave her friend a broad smile as he led her to the livingroom. For the next few hours the women chatted idly until the infamous scene of Colin Firth emerging from the lake graced their screens. Both women sat there like two lust-driven teenagers, eyes glued to the screens,

" _Dr Ryan said I need to keep my blood pressure down_ " she said turning to her friend, " _that's not going to have helped_ " as she gestured to the screen grinning.

After their giggles and laughter had sunsided Orla went to the kitchen to make the pair a cup of tea. She had been pondering how to broach the subject of Assumpta Fitzgerlad's relationship with Father Clifford with for over a day, but she was struggling with what to say. As she walked back towards the livingroom it dawned on her: Ciaran. Ciaran's middle name is Peter.

" _So...how's Ciaran doing?_ " she asked as she reentered the room

" _Fine really_. _Imelda is loving having him, but I just wish that there were more people around to babysit here ya'know? It's nice she's looking after him so I can rest, but I miss his little face"._

 _"Ah. As I said before, I'm always happy to babysit"_ she said while considering her next move _, "who'd else normally help out?"_

 _"Da and Assumpta mainly. Father Peter used to, hence Ciaran's name, but obviously..._ " her response trailed off with a shrug.

Orla furrowed her brow, " _so what happened with Father Peter then? From what I've heard he was well-liked, except by Father Mac and Kathleen, and I don't think they like many people, so why'd he leave?"_ , Niamh glanced at her with a slight air of sucpision, so she quickly added " _other than because I was destined to come here to meet you so we could be friends"_.

Niamh looked over at Orla considering whether to answer with the known facts or her own speculations. " _Personal crisis"_ she replied.

*

Orla had lost track of time while she was at Niamh's and was now running late for work. As she entered the bar she was expecting an icy glare from her boss, but instead she was met with a warm smile and a small cheer from Brendon, Paidrig and Michael.

" _Please say you've come to save us from her sickening mood_ ", quipped Brendon.

 _"Yeah, she's going to give me nightmares_ " added Paidrig

 _"I can't win_ " Assumpta huffed in response, "I _tell you to bog off and you say 'payin customers Assumpta' and when I'm nice to you I get told I'm sickening and going to give ya nightmares"_ she said as she threw a bar towel over her shoulder.

Orla looked at the three men in the corner and rolled her eyes " _nice to know I'm appreciated anyhow_ ".

" _Orla a word_ " came from the otherside of the bar,

" _ooooooo, she's in trouble now"_ Brendon said as Orla duitifully met her employer out of earshot of the patrons.

Assumpta lowered her voice, " _I need a favour - I'm planning on going away for a few days, for a break, can you look after the bar for me? I'll give you cash-in-hand for the extra hours, as long as you don't tell Niamh or Ambrose_ "

Orla felt like squealing at the prospect that the publican could possibly be having a surreptitious meeting with the former curate. She loved a good scandal.

*

Peter had spent most the morning catching up on paperwork, only taking the occasional break to stretch his legs. Although he had only been working as a social worker for just over a year he had seen a steady increase in his caseload and (unofficial) working hours while his paycheck remained unchanged. This often meant he had to use any spare time he had accured while in the office to keep his paperwork up-to-date, otherwise he risked facing a reprimand.

He had finally succumbed to his need for caffeine and a biscuit. There were already a couple of his colleagues having a natter in the kitchenette when he made his way over to the kettle. Ever polite, Peter offered to make them a hot drink, but both declined and one made a quick exit to her desk. " _Marvellous_ ", he muttered to himself as he poured the boiling water over the instant coffee granules, " _I'm now the subject of office gossip"._

It was midday when Peter's boss had requested his presence in her office. He had solemly followed her, the atmosphere made even more tense by several colleagues dipping their heads as though he was in a funeral procession. He gingerly sat down and waited.

" _Peter, as you may be aware the public sector is still facing significant cuts to our budgets, regardless of the recent change of government_ ", he nodded, " _and you may also be aware that this is hitting civil servants particularly hard_ ", he nodded again bracing himself for the bad news, " _well, you should count yourself lucky, in these times as well, that your hard work has been noted and we are offering you the opportunity to become a senior social worker within this department_ ".

Peter sat there stunned,

" _Take a week to think about it, but I'll need a decision by Monday"_ , she finished and begun shuffling the papers on her desk as an indicator that he needed to leave.

Just as he got to the door he said,

" _oh, I'm not in Monday - holiday",_

" _Fine, Tuesday then. Close the door behind you_ ".

*

By the time he had left his senior's office it was almost lunchtime. His colleagues had all scarpered slightly early, probably assuming he'd been sacked and would want some privacy, so he knew if he was quick he might catch Charlotte before she disappeared somewhere for lunch.

Peter hurried up the stairwell to find he had arrived just in time to see people starting to file out of the room. He waited for Charlotte with eager anticipation, noticing that almost everyone had left the office by now, except a few die-hards who needed to work through their lunch break. He was just about to enter the office.to look for her when she stepped through the door chatting with two other women. He quickly grabbed her arm and pulled her aside.

" _We're going to lunch to celebrate - Ive been offered a promotion_ " he grinned and leaned forward to give her a kiss, but instead of sharing in his joy she took a step back and with narrowed eyes said " _Not now Peter"_ before hurrying off after her friends.

Peter leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes. For a blissfull few minutes he had forgotten about his current predicament and the confusing situation he had found himself in. When he had been offered the promotion the first person he wanted to tell was Charlotte, but was that down to natural instinct or conditioning?

" _God_ _help me_ " he muttered under his breath.

*

 _ **A/N:** Just a quick one - updates *may* slow down from tomorrow. Hubby goes back to work this weekend so I'll be back looking after our toddler on my own._

 _On the plus side, origionally there was more to this chapter, but on editing this was a better place to leave it, so about a third of chapter 8 is done_


	8. Hell in a Fast Car

It may be cliched, but the atmosphere in the car was so thick that you could cut it with a knife. Charlotte was trying really hard not to succumb to her natural instinct and congratulate Peter on his promotion and Peter was trying really hard not to say something he might regret.

Of course she was happy for him; he deserved a promotion. He was kind, caring, empathetic and, most importantly in their line of work, dilligent and hard working. But she needed him to understand how upset she was, and she desperately wanted him to try and repair what was clearly broken.

For the last couple of days her life felt like a train wreck and she didn't know how to organise the recovery team. She loved Peter, she loved him more than anyone else she had ever met, but she was exhausted and it felt like there was a heavy fog clouding her thinking. For almost the entire journey back to their flat she had tried to focus on the mixture of period and modern homes that passed by the window wondering who lived in them and what types of people they were. She'd imagine happy families surrounded by kids, young couples embarking on their lives together and elderly couples sharing dinner. The problem was she could only imagine these complete strangers living in abject happiness, something she felt was slipping through her fingers at an alarming rate. As they neared their destination she could't take the silence and heavy atmosphere anymore: " _Congratulations on your promotion_ ".

She had hoped Peter would take this opportunity to engage her in conversation, but to her dissapointment he mumbled something incomprehensible. She knew it was a megure offer of an olive branch, but she had tried. Surely he didn't have the nerve to be annoyed at her? All she had done was blow off his offer of a lunch date, whereas he'd disappeared for hours in the middle of the night. Charlotte turned her head back towards the side window letting a wave of emotion to wash over her; ' _this is it_ ' she thought to herself as she felt the pent up feelings in her head starting to manifest themsleves as tears.

Peter noticed she was crying, so he pulled over and turned off the engine. He had every intention of comforting her, but he was absolutely terrified of making the same mistakes he had made in Ballykissangel. He had spent over a year praying and reflecting on the events in the Irish village and had come to the conclusion that it was God's will that had taken him to the small Irish village in County Wicklow, meaning it was God's plan for him to meet Assumpta. He came to the conclusion that the events that had transpired between himself and the publican was God's way of showing him that he wasn't destined to be a priest, instead he was to serve Him in another capacity while living the life of a family man. His conclusion had been reaffirmed when he had met Charlotte, because until recently he had imagined their life together. However, since Anne's interference and Assumpta's phone call he was starting to question whether he had learnt the lesson that God had intended, or whether he had been led away from the path of God's grace by the Devil.

Peter knew he was losing control again, and although he had given in to temptation on various occasions he knew he was staring down two ends of a barrel. He knew that God was often more understanding then some people gave him credit for, and he always sought absolution for his transgressions, but now he was starting to wonder if he needed to seek forgiveness for leaving the priesthood. He was even considering if Anne's interference and Assumpta's temptation was a result of their lapses in taking the sacraments.

Peter desperately wanted to tell her what was going on in his mind, he wanted to share with her his inner torment, tell her what he had done the other night, tell her what he was planning to the following week, but he knew that once words have been spoken, they can't be taken back.

" _I'm tired_ " she finally said, snapping him out of his thoughts. He looked over at her to see her eyes swollen and her make-up smudged from her tears. " _Please can we go home?"_ she asked meekly, still looking out of the passenger side window instead of at him.

" _Do we have a home to go to?_ " he asked solemnly.

" _That's up to you isn't it_?".

*

" _Mummy_ " called Abbey as she jumped down the stairs two at a time. Her Dad had told her not to do it because she would fall and "break her neck", but she'd never fallen and she didn't think she'd ever broken her neck (that sounded like it would hurt so she was sure she'd remember it), so she knew jumping down the stairs was safe. " _Mummy_ " she called again, this time elongating the 'umy' sound.

" _Yes_ " Anne responded in a high pitched sing-song voice

 _"I have a question_ " the little girl sang back while skipping into the kitchen to find her mum making dinner. " _Why was Uncle Peter here -_ ", she paused counting the days on her fingers, " _\- two nights ago? Is he living with us again? Because if he is living with us can you tell him when bedtime is because you and Daddy say bedtime is important and I'm not allowed to play when the gro-clock is blue_ "

Anne put down the whisk and took the frying pan off the hob. She smiled at her daughter. They needed to talk.

*

In the last eight years Anne could count the number of times she'd been in a church on her fingers. She had attended her nieces' and nephews' christenings and Peter's ordination but that was it. She knew her family disapproved of her non-attendance and her decision not to have her two daughter's cleared of sin, especially as Anne and Toby had sent the girls to Catholic school (which just happened to be the best state run comp in the area), but Anne rationalised that her hypocrisy and what she considered the church's hypocrisy cancelled each other out.

She had sat patiently waiting for her turn in the confessional, surveying the beauty of her local church. As she sat in the pew gazing at the statue of the Blessed Virgin, the intricate details of the stained glass windows and could smell the lingering scent of incense, she felt a strange sense of homecoming.

When it was Anne's turn to enter the confessional she felt a familar sense of forboding. Of all the sacrements this had been her least favourite.

" _Forgive me Father for I have sinned, it's been over eight years since my last confession_ " she said in a hushed voice,

" _Ah, lapsed are we?"_ the priest replied,

" _Yes Father, but that's not what I'm here to confess_ "

" _Good job too, we'd be here for hours if you confessed eight years of sin_ "

Anne let out a small snort of laughter and waited for a reprimand, bit nothing came. " _I have committed the sin anger and as a result have interfered inherently in someone's life. Now I fear my interference has led him down the wrong path_ ". Anne continued to tell her confessor about Peter and his relationships with both Assumpta and Charlotte, she expanded on the role she had played in her brother's current prediciment and explained that she didn't know what to do.

As Anne left the church she was relieved to have recieved her penance, along with some advice.

*

Anne went to Peter and Charlotte's flat immediately after confession. Her mind and body were functioning on pure adrenaline, she knew this wasn't a coversation she wanted to have, but rather one she needed to.

As she made her way up the stairs she noticed a familiar face coming towards her. Charlotte looked exhausted as she gave Anne a cursory smile, _"I don't have the strength anymore_ " she sighed looking down at her feet, " _I'm so tired Anne, I can't think straight. Please help him sort out whatever is going on in his head"._

Anne nodded her head and gave the woman a sympathetic smile. She heard Charlotte take a couple of more steps before she stopped, " _I'm not stupid ya'know? I know that this has something to do with that Assumpta woman_ " then continued her descent. Anne stood in the stairwell for a few minutes trying to gather he thoughts; earlier today she may have been granted absolution by the church, but she certainly didn't feel absolved of any guilt.

When Anne entered Peter's flat she found her brother sitting on the livingroom floor, knees pulled up to his chest staring into space. She quietly made her way across the room and sat crossed legged next to him.

After a few minutes he lifted his head, but still not looking at her and asked:

" _Have you ever considered that Lucifier is responsible for you not taking the sacraments_?"

" _Can't say I have_ ",

" _Do you worry for your eternal sou_ l?",

"I _went to confession toda_ y. _Does that answer your question?_ " she said with a shrug

" _Poor bloke, that would've taken age_ s". That comment made her smile, he was being himself, or at least trying to be, " _Do you remember that English teacher at school, the one who wasn't a priest?"_ he asked

" _Of course, there was only one of them_ ",

" _He used to say that if you're going to Hell you might as well do it in a fast car"_ , he turned his head towards her,

" _No wonder the diocese sacked him_ " she said with a slight chuckle hoping that her comment combined with his earlier one would help him to open up.

She turned to him and smiled, expecting the same in return, but rather than responding in kind his next words struck her like a blow to the head, " _That's you: You're going to Hell in a fast car and taking me as a passenger_ ".

Anne sat there dumbfounded. Not only hadn't she realised her brother's crisis was this deep, she'd never heard him say anything like that. The Peter she knew, her brother Peter, Peter the former priest, believed in a forgiving and understanding God, a God who gave His grace willingly to those who sought it, not a God who would permit someone like Peter to believe he was on the fast track to eternal damnation.

" _I'm sorry Peter_ " she said quietly, reaching out to touch his shoulder, but thought better of it. " _If I could take it back I would"_

" _That's the thing though isn't it? Once things have been said they can't be taken back_ " he said as he stood and walked across the room to the window. " _Things can't be unsaid and things can't be undone, regardless of what the church says_ "

Anne quickly stood up, knowing that what she was about to say would likely result in her witnessing her father's temper. " _Things can't be undone and things can't be unsaid, but they can be forgiven. I'm not asking for your forgiveness Peter, as quite honestly I don't deserve it, but by God's good grace..._ "

" _Don't_ " he said as he turned round with a look of pure disdain, " _don't_ \- _you - dare"_

Anne took a step back holding her breath, this was far far worse then she'd realised and she didn't know how to diffuse the situation, or even if she could if she knew how to

" _I know what I need to do_ ", he said as he took a step towards her,

" _And I know what I want to do_ ", another step forward,

" _I need to get_ _out of your bloody car...but I don't want to"_


	9. Meanwhile in Ballykea

_**A/N** : This and chapter 10 were originally one chapter, but I thought it read better as two short ones, so I've edited and re-uploaded._

*

" _Awwww, it's so sweet_ " cooed Orla looking at the little black kitten that was nuzzling itself into Liam's chest. " _It loves you_ " she said as she leaned over the bar to stroke it.

" _Best not let Siobhan or her Ladyship see that Liam. There'll be Hell to pay if she does"_ Dr Ryan advised

Liam knew that Michael was right but it didn't matter now anyway; he had achieved his aim of showing Orla he had a soft and fluffy heart. Just as the article had said. Earlier that day he had popped into Henley's to pick up Brian's newspaper and had accidently left the shop with a women's lifestyle magazine. One of the feature articles was titled 'The Top 10 Things Women Find Attractive' and number 8 was 'a man who is good with animals'. Of course Liam was good with animals, he had worked for Brian Quigley long enough that he could turn his talents to most things (albeit not always successfully), but he knew a sure fire way to demonstrate this to the curate's sister would be to bring one of his kittens into the pub.

Liam downed the rest of his pint and motioned to Donal to do the same, just in time to aviod Assumpta emerging from the kitchen carrying a pen and a pad of paper.

" _Orla - I've spoken with the brewery and authorised you to sign for the delivery, I've also contacted my ... suppliers nd done the same. So everything should run smoothly"_ , the blonde haired woman nodded. The publican then preceded to show the barmaid her general notes on the pub and the times of her arrivals and departures.

" _Off somewhere are we Assumpta_?", Paidrig asked in an attempt to make conversation, but instead of a friendly acknowledgement he was met with a glare,

" _Yes I am as if it's any of your buisness. Now bog off_ "

Dr Ryan and Paidrig both look at each other and raised their eyebrows in response, but Assumpta wasn't paying attention as she was already heading for the door hoping to see Niamh before she left for the airport.

*

Niamh had been ecstatic when Michael told her she could take a short daily walk to Henley's and back. Since Orla had popped round the other day she'd not seen anyone and only having Ambrose for company was beginning to grate on her. She was still irritated at Assumpta for not visiting her during her confinement, but now she more more annoyed that she was going away for a few days and leaving Orla in charge of the bar. Of course, she knew she couldn't look after the pub for her, but Niamh felt miffed that someone else was undertaking a role that would normally befall her.

She took great pleasure breathing in the fresh crisp Irish air while waddling slowly to the convience store; she didn't even need anything from Kathleen's, but she was enjoying her freedom and had decided it would be am excellent opportunity to pick up a chocolate bar.

" _Niamh_ " Assumpta called jogging up behind her, " _how are you?_ ",

" _Fine, thanks for asking_ ",

" _Sorry I haven't been around and visited_ "

 _"Forget it Assumpta. I guess I'm always the last to know about everything. And I'm meant to be your best friend and all"._

" _Ah - Niamh, its only a few days. I'm not going to miss the baby or anything_ "

She rolled her eyes, "I _know, I'm just jealous I guess. You're able to go off galivanting while the most I'm allowed to do is walk to Henley's"_ ,

" _Well, noone can accuse you of not living on the edge now, can they?_ " she said grinning as she nudged her friend.

" _I'm sorry Niamh, but I've got to get to Dublin to catch my flight. I promise we'll talk when I get back, alright? I'm hoping I'll have lots to tell you_ ".

Niamh's feet had started to hurt from standing still too long while talking to Assumpta, but she continued on her way to Henley's. She really wanted her chocolate bar.

*

Assumpta's flight from Dublin to Heathrow took just under two hours, but it felt like four. She tried to keep herself occupied by reading the in-flight magazine, but the only thing she could focus on was the mantra of: 'I'm going to see Peter, I'm going to see Peter' while grinning to herself like a teenager who'd been asked out by their crush.

Eventually the woman sitting next to her had asked why she was so happy and Assumpta, uncharacteristically, told her she was meeting the man she had been in love with for five years. This confused the elderly lady who didn't understand how Assumpta could love someone she had never met, so Assumpta gave a heavily editied pracis of her relationship with Peter. Although Assumpta didn't want to admit it, she found it slightly liberating to speak to a someone who had no chance of finding out Peter was the former curate of her home village.

The time had started to pass slightly quicker since she had been speaking to her new companion, who had taken the opportunity to share a story about a young made who pursued her in her youth. Unlike Assumpta's story, her elderly companion's was quite graphic and on several occasions had made Assumpta blush.

Once they had been through passport control her travel companion bidded her farewell and as they went to go their seperate ways the elderly lady said " _remember Assumpta my dear, from my experience it's best to live life without any regrets. Enjoy your time with your gentleman friend - if you get my drift?_ ". Assumpta was glued to the spot as she watched her walk away, she didn't know whether to laugh or cringe at what the stranger had implied.

The journey on the tube to her hotel had been easy; she didn't need to change and due to the time of day it wasn't overly busy. As she sat staring at the line map on the wall she shuddered at the memory of what had occured on her last visit to the city.

Once she had arrived at her hotel she had asked for two keycards, explaining that her friend would be joining her in the morning. She had requested an envelope so she could leave the card at the front desk so that he could pick it up when he arrived. The clerk had given her a questioning look, the type she would usually snap at, but she was in too excited to let a judgmental desk clerk spoil her few days away.

She quickly placed the key and a note of her room number in the envelope, and wrote ' _Peter Clifford'_ on the front. Just as she was about to hand the envelope back to the clerk she had an idea, she quickly picked up the pen and added ' _Father_ '.

Assumpta had barely slept a wink all night due to a mixture of excitement, anticipation and anxiety. She had to keep reminding herself that she wasn't dreaming, she really was in a hotel room waiting for Peter Clifford.

It sounded so bizarre and unreal: 'I'm in a hotel room waiting for Peter Clifford'. She thought if she repeated it enough it would start to seem less less abstract and more concrete: 'I'm in a hotel room waiting for Peter Clifford', 'I'm in a hotel room waiting for Peter Clifford the former priest, I'm in a hotel room waiting for Peter Clifford the former priest who loves me'. She suddenly felt an adrenaline rush causing her to let out a slightly excited squeel and hug her pillow tightly.

She was expecting Peter to arrive around 11ish in time for them to grab some lunch. She had been slightly dissapointed when he'd suggested 'lunch', but she knew they had two years of each other's lives to catch up on and a lunch date was the safest bet. Her life hadn't changed much; she still ran the pub, her regulars still propped up her bar, she still anatagonised Father Mac on a semi-regular basis. The only notable change in her life was that Leo had left her and she didn't know, or particularly care, where he was. Peter's life on the other hand was significantly different compared to the last time they were in eachother's company. She didn't know a huge amount about his life over the kast two years except for the information she had managed to pry from his sister: he was laicised, a social worker and lived just outside of Brighton. She guessed that he was living with a woman.

She wondered if Peter had suggested having lunch because there is safety in numbers. Had she come all this way in response to a declaration of undying love to be pushed aside - again - or did he think that being surrounded by other people might prevent him from saying, or doing, something he might regret? She looked over towards the room service menu. Or did he think he'd be hungry?

She still couldn't believe she was meeting Peter. She smiled at herself in the mirror remembering all the little moments they had shared together, from when she had picked him up in the rain - to watching him climb up scaffolding to rescue Siobhan and a ram - to one of her most painful memories.

She always felt uncomfortable when she remembered their exchange in Niamh's kitchen: she had been sitting on the worktop holding a crying Peter in her arms, who had just told her a rambling story about a polar bear and then preceeded to tell her he was always thinking about her, kissing her neck. That moment had been something she had been waiting for, yearning for, but at that moment she had known she was in fat too deep and if she didn't stop what was happening they would be at the point of now return. Assumpta had known that she couldn't succumb to years of lust and sexual tension in her bestfriend's kitchen, and she couldn't let her own selfish desires allow her friend to break his vows. That was why she had stopped it. She felt a twang of sadness as she recalled he had left the village, country even, soon after believing her couldn't have her.

After finishing her hair and make-up Assumpta was finding it difficult to decide what to wear, her indecision driven by not knowing what was going to occur between her and Peter.

As she stood infront on the mirror wondering if her dress was the right balance of sexy and casual.

*

Assumpta was watching the tabliod talk show Trisha when there was a knock at the door. She had been sitting crossed legged and in her eagerness to answer she had managed to tangle herself in her own limbs and fall off the bed. She quickly stood, straightening and smoothing her dress before walking, in what she considered a seductive manner, to the door. When she got there she cursed herself for her stupidity, 'why walk seducatively? He can't see you'.

Her heart was pounding as she reached for the handle and turned the lock. She took one last look in the mirror before hitching her breath and opening the door.


	10. Meanwhile on the South Coast

The siblings stood staring at each other, neither wanting to be the first to avert their gaze. They both knew that the moment one of them moved or spoke they would need to address what had just been said.

The air was heavy and oppressive, Peter's look was firm and serious but he knew his eyes would soon betray him. Anne was struggling to hide her discounterance and could feel her eyes beginning to sting as she held back tears.

She was the one who moved first by turning and heading to the door.

She stopped briefly at the threshold, " _I could always pull over and let you out_ " she said meekly,

" _I'd just steal your car_ " he replied.

*

By the time Anne had returned home Toby had already started to organise dinner and had laid the table. She went into the kitchen to see what had been put on but found the oven off and no evidence of food in the microwave. Upon further enquiry she learnt he had ordered a takeaway pizza; luckily gorging herself of calories was exactly what she needed.

Toby assumed that Anne's conversation with Peter had not gone well; since she had arrived home she was distant and aloof, even struggling to put on a cheery face for the girls. He didn't want to be the one to broach the subject, firstly because he knew from experience that she would talk to him about it when she was good and ready, and secondly because he had a nagging suspicion that he was complicit in whatever level of crazy she had confronted Peter about. Instead he had decided to undertake the girl's bedtime routine alone so that his wife could soak herself in a hot bath.

When Toby came to bed he was surprised to find his wife kneeling on the floor with her hands clasped in prayer. In the eight years they had been married, the ten they'd known each other, he had never seen her pray. He had always wondered why she didn't pray, even more so when he had first met Peter in his get-up, but he had never asked her. Although not religious himself he understood that faith was something very personal and he didn't want to pry.

He carefully walked round to his side of the bed, trying not to disturb her and climbed under the sheets. Just as he did so Anne made the symbol of the cross and climbed into bed herself.

" _Do you want talk about it?_ " he asked caustiously, but she shook her head and rolled over.

*

When Charotte had returned home she was relieved to see Peter laying on the sofa with his eyes closed. She had half expected to find a note telling her he was staying at his sister's and that he'd be along at a mutually convenient time to collect his things, so when she saw him laying on the sofa she felt a sense of solace.

She moved closer to get a better look at his resting form. He was using the arm if the chair as a pillow and had a small smile on his lips. In that moment she felt like everything was normal and the events of the past week and a half had all been some awful nightmare. She took a few more steps closer to see if he was asleep, and without warning or provecation Peter lurched forward and pulled her into a hug.

" _I'm an idiot, you know that right?_ " he said softly next to her ear.

*

The rest of the weekend came and went without any major dramas. Peter and Charlotte's neighbours had got a dog which seemed to only bark from dusk till dawn. Neither Peter nor Charlitte had been getting much sleep of late, but the dog barking seemed to be grating on Charlotte's nerves significantly more than Peter's.

When Monday morning arrived Charlotte was busy making her lunch while Peter poured them both a bowl of cereal. He knew he had treated her appalling over the last couple of weeks, but she really was looking forlorn and unwell.

" _I'm just so tired"_ she complained when he enquired after her health, " _it's that blasted dog_ ". Peter turned on the coffee machine and dissapeared to the bathroom, when he returned he was holding a bottle of vitimin c tablets. This small gesture made her smile; this was the Peter she was used to and the Peter she loved, the man who cared about the welfare of others and liked to 'look after' her.

She would be lying if she told people that everything wad okay between them because she knew it wasn't, but she took his small gesture, his admittance of his idiocy, and his silly smile as a sign he had fought his demons and their relationship was on the mend. She made a mental note to call Anne and thank her.

" _I'm going to miss you today at work"_ she said as she hugged him from behind giving his waist a slight squeeze before they both went to sit at the table. " _I have a meeting at 9 which is probably going to last at least a couple of hours - all while your off gallivanting with your mate from uni_ " she said with an exaggerated pout. " _What time do you think your be back_?"

He made a conscience attempt not to look at her while he was talking, " _I'm not sure. I'll see if I can make it back to Vic before the commuter train, if not I'll get a later one to avoid the rush"_.

" _Okay, I won't make you dinner then_ " she said gulping down her coffee, " _have a nice time"_. She walked over and placed a chaste kiss on his lips, " _just don't be sick on the car when you get home_ " she said with a cheeky smile and left for work.

*

Peter hated the tube. He had never been one to be overly concerned with personal space, but standing millimetres away from a drunk businessman that smelt of vodka would be enough to turn anyone's stomach. Although everyone was tightly packed together in a disturbingly intimate way, the typical British aloofness was ripe; everyone was avoiding eye contact and travelling in silence, except for the occasional muttered apology for slightly knocking a fellow traveller when the train stopped .

Relieved would not adequately describe how Peter felt when he alighted the sardine can. As he hurried to the escalator he could feel beads of sweat on his brow; he was unsure if this was possible this was a manifestation of his nerves or due to the heat. As he stood to the left hand side of the escaltor he remembered reading that in the summer the tempreture inside the carriages on the London Underground becomes so hot it would be illegal to transport cattle under those conditions. He convinced himself that wad why he was sweating.

*

When Peter arrived at his destination he suddenly felt apprehensive. It was not an intimidating structure, it looked like all the other buildings around him: modern with large glass doors and walls. His heart was pounding as he stood on the opposite side of the road considering his next move. He watched a few people leave the building wondering what kind of people were inside; he couldn't really surmise anything from their clothes because some dressed in buisness attire and others much more casually. He must've been standing staring at the building for at least ten minutes when he saw a red Audi TT drive past, "fast car" he said to himself and crossed the road.

He entered the lobby and went straight to the reception desk. " _Good morning Sir, are we checking in_?" the clerk asked.

" _Hmm, no. My friend said she'd left an envelope for me"_ ,

" _You're name?"_ , the man spoke with an air of superiority

" _Peter Clifford_ "

" _Your title?_ ", he said holding a brown envelope in his hand, Peter must've looked confused because the employee felt the need to clarify himself " _your title? Your position?"_.

After a brief moment to think he responded " _Father Peter Clifford?"_.

Once he had given his name accompanied by his former title the clerk had handed over the envelope, but not without a disapproving smirk.

He had opted to use the lift instead of climbing the stairs for a few reasons: firstly he wasn't sure how many flights he'd have to climb, secondly he didn't want to loose his nerve and run out th building, and thirdly he wanted to conserve his energy. Once he left the lift he walked briskly to Assumpta's room before pausing unsure of what to do. He considered using the keycard thay was sticking to his clammy hand, or knocking on the door. Peter briefly closed his eyes to help bring his breathing and heart rate under control. As of yet he hadn't done anything that couldn't be undone and still had the option to turn away and never look back.

He took a deep breath and knocked on the door.


	11. Bloody Quigley

Within moments of Assumpta closing the door she felt Peter place his hands on her shoulders and gently turn her round to face him.

Without hesitation Peter pulled her close to him and held her in a tight embrace. He closed his eyes and rested his head on hers, removing one hand from her waist to stroke her hair. " _You're more beautiful then I remember"_ he mumbled into her loose aurbun curls before running his thumb along her jawline and gently using its tip tilt her head upwards towards him. As soon as their eyes met Assumpta felt her legs go weak; she couldn't believe she had survived two years without looking into those eyes, the eyes that had so often indicated that he wanted more the friendship, the eyes that were looking down at her with sheer adoration. She reached up and gently caressed his cheek before moving her hand to the back of his neck and pulling him into kiss.

As soon as their lips touched Peter's eyes darted open like a jolt of electricity had awoken him from a deep sleep. He kept one hand firmly on her waist while the other ran through her hair. Assumpta had laced her hands around his neck as though she was scared he'd leave. He broke their kiss and began to trail kisses along her jawbone to her neck, every few kisses glancing up to see her reaction. Assumpta found his kisses on her skin intoxicating, and felt like she was going to faint as his lips started caressing her neck, " _Peter_ " she said in a breathy voice.

When she said his name it was like another fire had been ignited inside him. He kissed her again, this time with more fervour and urgency, while his hands pulled at the fabric of her dress. As their kiss deepened and their hands began to wander Peter used his bodyweight to slowy push her back against the wall. As soon as her back made contact with the hard surface she let out a slight moan, Peter took this opportunity to place kisses along her jawline and collar bone before returning to her lips. With every kiss she felt her desire mounting, she arched her back slightly and pushed her body against his, causing him to let out a hungry moan.

At that moment they both broke away from their kiss, slightly breathless and clearly aroused, and stared at each other.

" _Hi_ " he said sheepishly

" _Hi_ " she responded.

*

Assumpta felt like she was in a dream; she was laying in bed with her head on Peter's shoulder while he was gently stroking her hair, something she had been resigned to never happening. She felt his body shift slightly as he placed a quick kiss on the top of her head before running his hand along her back.

" _I'm scared if I move I'll wake up_ " he said softly as he brushed the tips of his fingers against her bare skin, " _this doesn't seem real_ ". His touch was exhilarating causing a warm feeling to grow just below her stomach. She shifted her weight so that they were face-to-face, " _I guarantee your not dreaming_ " she whispered before kissing him with a renewed sense of vigour.

 _"I was dissapointed when you suggested meeting for lunch_ " she mumbled as she manoeuvred herself back to laying next to him.

" _Well, I am hungry. Worked up quite an appetite_ " he said with a cheeky grin and a wink. _"In all seriousness though, I'm not joking - I'm hungry_ ".

" _Don't have the stamina, eh_?"

He faked a look of indignation before grabbing one of the pillows amd throwing it at her. _"I personally think I've done very well. Its no small feet ya know_ "

" _Maybe I should get you a trophy?_ " she scoffed

" _A sex trophy? That would take pride of place on my mantlepiece. Nice conversation_ _starter_ "

" _Ive missed you_ "

*

They sat on the bed eating bland and overpriced sandwiches with some awful daytime tv show running in the background.

Assumpta was sure the porter had seen alot worse, but she was still mortified that she'd opened the door wearing only her knickers and Peter's shirt (which he had forgotten to do up). The porter had made some small talk and confirmed the cost of the meals and service would be added to her bill. Peter on the otherhand had found her reaction hilarious,

" _It wasn't funny_ " she protested as she stole some crisps from his plate, " _I've never been so embarressed in my life_ "

" _Oh, I dunno. What about the time we were rehearsing 'Ryan's Mother' and Father Mac appeared with two parish priests and Bishop Costello?_ " he looked at her with a broad smile, " _you were pretty embarressed then. If I recall correctly you ran off into the rafters_ "

Assumpta looked away and shifted slightly trying her best to aviod his eye contact. She knew he was being jovial but that play had been a tuning point for her and had been the start of her downward spiral into a pit of misery.

When they had been on that stage in the village hall she had realised just how much she had wanted to kiss him, which was why she had demanded the rest of the cast and crew leave them alone. She had wanted their first kiss, their only kiss, to be something to treasure without the memory of her friends and nieghbours gawking. It had been up until that point she believed she had a silly crush on Peter, the villiage priest, which she had rationalised was not surprising considering there were so few eligable men around her own age in the town, but at the moment she looked into his eyes reciting the words " _i_ _f it's a sin_ " she had known it was more. She had known had been this ' _thing_ ' bubbling below the surface of thier unlikely friendship; shared looks and averted eyes, longing glances, things left unsaid, but that play had been her chance to see if he felt the same, before Quigley ruined it. " _Damn Quigley_ " she said aloud before she had time to think.

" _Huh? What about Brian Quigley_?"

Resigned to her own embarressment she said, " _It was his fault I never got to kiss you in that play. If I had then maybe we could've been spared four years of abject misery"_

Peter was unsure of how to proceed. He considered half-joking that he was glad they didn't get the opportunity to kiss on the stage because he wasn't sure he'd have been able to control himself, or, a much more likely outcome, that he would have requested a transfer immediately and they'd never be here now. Not sure how either response would go down he settled for option three: "B _loody Quigley_ ".

" _I'm not joking Peter_ " she said firmly. " _Ive pined after you for four years, I've tried to forget you, tried to move on, but you are always there. Always on my mind_ "

" _I'm sorry 'Sumpta, but I promise you won't have to try and forget me again_ " he said as he kissed her hand and pulled her into a hug.

Then with a slight chuckle and an awful Elvis impression he started singing off key:

 _"Maybe I didn't hold you_

 _All those lonely, lonely times_

 _And I guess I never told you_

 _I'm so happy that you're mine_

 _If I make you feel second best_

 **PETER** (he sang very loudly and in a very high pitched voice)

 ** _I was_ _always on your_** mind

 _ **Peter's** **always on your** mind"_

" _Oh bog off will you_ " she laughed.

*

Later that day the couple walked hand in hand to the train station, neither wanting their encounter to end. To any observer they looked like an ordinary young couple, noone would've been able to guess how complicated their lives had been and were about to become.

As they reached the gateline Assumpta turned to him "So, w _hat do we do now?_ " she asked

" _I have some things I need to sort out, but when it's all sorted you'll be the first one to know. I promise._ "

" _The girl who answered the phone?_ " she said looking crestfallen

" _Among other things"_

Assumpta watched Peter go through the barriers before he turned and mouthed " _I love you_ ".


	12. Take A Long Hard Look In The Mirror

**A/N** : _quite a short chapter with quite a bit of dilogue. I've tried rewriting it several times to try and reduce it, but I wasn't happy, so I've left it as it is._

I _hope chapter 11 wasnt too much of an anti climax. There will be more Peter/Assumpta face-to-face interaction later_

*

Assumpta's heart skipped a beat as she watched him mouth _"I love you_ ". It was such a natural and candid moment that no one watching them would've been able to guess that their past history read like something from the red banner press.

Although she was unsure of when they'd next see each other and knowing they had a rocky road ahead, she couldn't help but smile. Today had been perfect. She had spent the whole time in Peter's arms expressing their feelings, their love, in many different ways, reminsciing about the past and talking about the future. It had all been so perfect. But her elation quickly turned to panic when she noticed the dark haired man leaning against a pillar flicking through a copy of _The Metro_.

Suddenly panic set in: Did he see her? Did he see Peter? ' _Crap, crap, crap_ ' she said under her breath while surveying the concourse looking for the most efficient route of escape. Just as she spotted an easy exit the man looked up from his paper and caught sight of her; at first his expression was one of confusion, then realisation, then friendly acknowledgement. Before she knew it the man had closed the distence between them, " _Assumpta_ " he said with a curt nod

" _Leo_ " she responded.

*

Assumpta had been surprised at how civil their encounter at the train station had been, after all they hadn't exactly parted on good terms and Leo had every right to be angry at her. She had been even more surprised when he insisted she let him buy her a drink.

" _So, how have you been? What brings you to London_ " he asked awkwardly in an attemot to break the silence. The pair had sat at a table in the far corner away my from the bar to give themselves some privacy and try an aviod the rambunctious influx of buisnessmen and women going for a 'swift pint' after work.

" _Same old, same old. Visiting a friend. You?_ she said taking a sip from her glass,

" _Good good. I've been working as a researcher at the BBC for around 6 months. I miss being in front of the camera and writing articles but it's a well respected and well known institution, so if nothing else it looks good on my CV. How's the pub? How's your regulars_?"

Their conversation continued in that feign until Leo, spurred on by two and a half pints of Guiness eventually said _"Look, I'm glad I bumped into you beacuse I wanted to call but lost my nerve_ ", he was looking down at his half drunk pint, "c _ards on the table: I want a divorce. As we got married here, and I live here, it can be filed for here. It'll take a matter of months, not years_ "

Assumpta tried really hard not to show her happiness, but had to resort to taking a long sip of her drink hoping Leo didn't notice her widening smile.

Leo continued, "I _dont want anything. No division of assets, no claim to future earnings, but I do want to know one thing"_

" _Okay, but only if I can ask you something first_ ", Leo nodded in agreement, " _Why now Leo?_ _Why do you want a divorce now and not a year ago_ "

" _In all honesty? Because I've got a job offer as a field reporter in the Middle East and I don't want you to inherit my assets if anything happens_ ". Assumpta was shocked by his bluntness. Although she didn't love Leo she cared about him, and she certainly didn't want him knowingly putting himself in harms way. She was about to question whether taking such a high risk job was in his best interests, but before the words even had the opportunity to form in her mind Leo had already started speaking

" _My turn"_ he said with a sly smile _"were you screwing the priest?_ "

" _No_ ", she was tired of this argument. They'd had a simular one eighteen months ago.

" _Just 'no'. No claims of indignation? No anger? Just 'no'_ "

" _Just 'no' Leo. I was not 'screwing' Peter_ , _as you so crudly put it"_ , sknew he was using crass language to rile her

" _But you wanted to, right? He certainly wanted to screw you. That much was obvious. I think the whole bloody village knew you two wanted to, I mean, it was so bloody obvious that you both wanted to rip each other's clothes off and do_ \- "

Assumpta interrupted him rolling her eyes, " _Leo -_ "

" _Did you think of him when you were with me?"_

" _Leo. Please stop this_ " shaking her head this time,

" _Did you?_ ", he said with more urgency and a piercing stare, he was determined to get an answer

" _What do you want me to say? If I say 'yes' you'll get mad, if I say 'no' you'll accuse me of lying. What do you hope to achieve by this? Why does it even matter now? You want a quick and esay divorce, I'll give you one. But I dont see how dragging up old arguments helps anyone. Its a horrible thing to do and will just cause us both more pain_ "

" _I'll take that as a 'yes' then_ "

" _For goodness sake Leo. You are being unreasonable_ "

Suddenly Leo felt anger bubble up inside him. Until this point his primary aim by this line of questioning had been to annoy her and make her feel uncomfortable, but now he wanted to hurt her. He wanted to make her feel at least some resemblance to what she had put him through.

" _I'm being unreasonable Assumpta? I'm being horrible? I'm? Me? You married me when you were in love with someone else! And we both know who. I was a bloody consolation prize. Even when that bloody man left it was never me! You led me on. You made me think - stupidly - that you loved me. You married me knowing you didn't. That's horrible Assumpta! How many more people will you toy with? How many people will you hurt?"_ he took a breath before continuing his barrage, _"take a long hard look in the mirror Assumpta, you may not like what you see_ ".

With that Leo got up to leave, but not before telling her that he'd put the paperwork in the post.

She put her head against the table and cried. She cried because she knew he was right.

*

Peter couldn't stop smiling on the train journey home, he felt like the cat who got the cream. He found it hard to believe that twenty four hours ago he'd actually considered that Assumpta had been sent by the Devil to tempt him, when in reality she had clearly been sent by God Himself. Granted, after releasing almost five years of unexpressed love and pent-up obessesion he certainly needed to visit confession, but he knew that his current state of elation could only be a gift from God.

As the train left the city Peter noticed the buildings were showing less and less signs of smog; the bricks tarnished with hundreds of years of pollution began to fade away and were replaced by greener pastures. He noticed rural pubs, grazing sheep, farm houses and pastures, all of which reminded him of Ballykea and, of course Assumpta. " _Mmmm Assumpta_ " he mumbled as he drifted off to sleep thinking of the day's events.

*

When Peter finally arrived home he found Charlotte fully clothed and asleep on top of the bed covers. He contemplated waking her up, but she'd been so tired recently that he thought it best to let her sleep. Afterall, what he had to say could wait till the morning.


	13. A Little More Conversation Please

Over the last three days Orla had made slow progress in her investigation of the relationship between Father Clifford and Assumpta Fitzgerald.

Her first line of enquiry had been to approach the regulars, but that quickly led to a dead end when Brendon started giving her suspcious looks everytime she mentioned the former curate's name. Her second line of enquiry had been Kathleen Hendley. Kathleen's perchant for gossip meant she quickly volunteered that Father Clifford's priorities were questionable, but she didn't elaborate further because Aiden had appeared. Her biggest break came from her final route of enquiry: Liam and Donal. To garner information from Quigley's henchmen Orla decided to exploit Liam's crush on her and his previous attempt to woo her with a kitten. Her opportunity came Monday night when Liam and Donal were playing cards at the end of the bar and Liam threw his cards down in frustration. She approached the two men with a broad smile and leaned across the bar showing a little more cleveage then necessarily while putting on a sultry smile, " _How's your kitten doing Liam?_ "

As soon as she spoke Liam took a sharp intake breath. He was clearly trying really hard to keep his eyes on her face and not allow them to wander to her chest, " _Grand thanks Orla. You like cats then_?"

" _Oh yeah, I love them. Aiden wanted to get one but Brian Quigley won't allow animals in the cottage. Is that a new rule? Did the last curate have any pets?_ ". She waited eagerly for Liam to take the bait.

" _Dunno 'bout the rule, but Father Peter didn't have any pets. Didn't spend much time at home: always at the church, organising things or here_ ".

Hook.

" _Oh, liked a drink did he_?"

" _Yeah and Assumpta"_ Donal interrupted. Liam shot him a stern glare, but after seeing the intrigue on Orla's face it was him who elaborated on his friend's statement, " _He was sweet on her. The whole village knew. It was so obvious by the way he looked at her, and how he hung around her_ ".

Line.

" _Yeah, common knowledge_ " Donal agreed.

" _Did she return his feelings? I can't see Assumpta being more than civil to a priest, let alone being sweet on one?_ " She hoped that by making such an offhand comment and using a dismissive tone Liam would continue to elaborate with the same level of candour.

" _Aye, I think so. She's a hard one to read. Normally in a bad mood, but seemed a bit happier when he was about. They were going to send him back to England at one point and she organised a petition to get him to stay. I'm pretty sure Mr Quigley thought she was too. They looked at each other with hungry eyes"_.

Sinker.

Orla smiled inwardly: ' _hook, line and sinker'_ she thought with a smug sense of satisfaction, making a mental note about the petition.

" _How can your eyes be hungry_?" Donal asked confused.

*

It was late Tuesday evening when Assumpta arrived home looking very much worse for wear. In the brief moment she had shown her face in the bar Orla had noticed the deep bags under her eyes and her grey complexion, two things you wouldn't expect from someone who had spent a few nights away.

Most of Assumpta's journey home had been spent considering Leo's words and her own actions. Until that point she had never really considered the impact her behaviour could've had on him. She knew she had treated him badly, but it wasn't until she thought about it, really thought about, that she realised she'd caused him the same kind of pain she had felt when Peter had left Ballykea. She had broken his heart, and worst of all, she hadn't cared. The more she thought about it, the more guilty she began to feel. ' _What kind of person marries someone they don't love? What kind of person marries someone when they love someone else? What kind of person treats people in such a calous way?'_

It wasn't until after closing she eventually ventured downstairs, looking and feeling exhausted. She was relieved to find Orla still tidying up; she needed the barmaid to debrief her on the takings and deliveries, but she also needed to talk to someone about her encounter with Leo.

Orla heard her employer enter the bar but didn't want to appear too eager to find out about her few nights away, so she continued focus on wiping down the tables. She had to hide her dissapiontment when the publican asked about the pub's takings and didn't volunteer any information about her secret rendezvous with her unnamed man.

Assumpta picked up another bar cloth and started to help Orla with the cleaning. As the time dragged on the barmaid had concluded, much to her dissapointment, Assumpta wasn't going to divoldge any further information about Father Clifford.

" _I bumped into my husband"_ she finally said.

That was a development that Orla wasn't anticipating. " _Oh_ " was all she could muster, followed eventually by: " _must've put a downer on your time with your 'friend'_ ",

" _Yes and no"_ Assumpta sighed, " _No because Peter had already left, but yes because Leo made me realise some home truths_ ".

" _He's your ex. Exes are notoriously mean_ _and most will try and wound you one way or another_ ", the bairmaid gave the publican a sympathetic smile. " _So your bloke, his name is Peter?_ "

Assumpta's eyes widened. She had slipped. She had said Peter's name. It wouldn't take much for Orla to piece together the things she had already told her before realising who she had been talking about. She needed to think of a simular sounding name, and fast. " _Errr, no, Walter. His name is Walter_ ". 'Great, that doesn't sound at all suspicious' she inwardly cursed herself, but luckily Orla didn't say anything more.

Assumpta througherly enjoyed telling Orla about the day she spent with Peter: it made her feel like a teenager again. She missed sharing 'boy gossip' with Niamh, especially as Niamh had attended an all girls private school and her only access to boys had been through Assumpta's introductions. They would gossip for hours about the successes and failures of the hormone driven advances by the local boys, almost all of whom had eventually left the village for pastures new. She missed the gossip, but most of all she missed Niamh. She desperately wanted to go to the Garda house and tell her friend about Peter and Leo, but she knew Niamh would never understand, and would probably never try to for that matter.

By 1am she still hadn't volunteered any further information on what Leo had said to effect her so deeply, and Orla was starting to feel frustrated. " _So, what did your ex say that has left you looking so sleep deprived?_ "

" _He told me to take a long hard look in the mirror because I wouldn't like what I saw"._ Orla was genuinely shocked, that really wasn't a nice thing to say. "A _nd -_ " Assumpta continued, now with tears forming in her eyes, "- _he was right"_.

" _Oh Assumpta, as I said before, exes say and do things to cause pain. They tend to know you well and therefore know how to hurt you_ "

Assumpta started to cry, " _When I married Leo I was in love with someone elss"_ she stuttered inbetween sobs,

"- _and - i_ _t gets worse. Peter has a girlfriend. Well, I think he does. We didn't really talk about it, but I'm pretty sure he does. It makes me feel like an an awful person ya'know. I married one man while I loved someone else, and now I'm seeing the man I've been desperatly in love with for years knowing he has a girlfriend_ ", then she looked up at her companion, " _Oh God Orla, I hope she is just his girlfriend_ _and not his wife_ ".

Orla made another mental note that Assumpta had once again used the name Peter as she placed the books back on their shelves.

*

Peter had spent the entire night thinking about the day he had spent with Assumpta and how he was going to end things with Charlotte. He had a very limited experience of ending relationships, and he'd never ended a serious one. Before he had gone to the seminary he'd had two girlfriends; Mel and Louise. Mel was his first 'proper' girlfriend and they had experienced many firsts together. That relationship had ended quite equitably when they both went to different universities and neither felt inclined to try the 'long distance' thing. Louise was his girlfriend for two years while at uni, but they had never really been that serious. She had seemed a bit relieved when he told her he was going to the seminary. But Charlotte was different. He knew that ending things with Charlotte would break her heart, he also knew it was going to be a logistical nightmare. The thought of dividing their possessions and severing all ties with her made him feel nauseous.

When the morning finally arrived Peter was exhausted. His eyes stang, his head pounded and his throat was dry. He ventured into the kitchen to make himself a coffee and grab some of those painkillers that contained both paracetamol and caffine. He was relieved to find Charlotte had already made a fresh pot.

" _I didn't hear you come in last night. Why didn't you wake me?"_ she asked. Peter couldn't quite see what she was doing because she had her back to him, but it looked like whisking.

" _You've been so tired recently. I decided it was best to let you sleep"_. It was mainly true. He had decided to let her sleep because she had been tired, but he also wanted to delay having this conversation. " _Charlotte, we need to talk"._

If Charlotte heard him she didn't show it, instead she poured the mixture she had been whisking into a frying pan.

" _I'm going to make chilli chicken bites for Saturday. Do you think the kids would eat them or should I just make enough for the adults?"_ Peter sat in silence, completely confused. When Charlotte didn't get a response she turned round to see his muddled expression. " _The party for your mum's birthday? At your sisters?"._

" _Great_ " Peter replied remembering the chaos of last years event. Just what he needed: a family get together. After their mum died Peter's family had decided that they would hold a get together every year on her birthday. Although its official purose was to remember their mother, in reality it was a way to ensure they all took time out from their busy lives to spend time togther.

 _"I dunno if the kids would eat them_ " Peter finally admitted as Charlotte handed him a plate containing a few of the pancakes she'd just made, " _Look Charlotte, I'm sorry, but_ _we_ _really need to talk_ ". He needed to get it over and done with, like climbing into a cold swimming pool: he needed to take the plunge.

" _We do need to talk"_ , she replied smiling, " _I have a present for you_ " and she left the room. Peter started to panic slightly as he followed her into the hallway; he couldn't accept a present from her, not now, not ever.

" _Charlotte, please_ " he implored, as she handed him a brown envelope. He wasn't sure what she wanted him to do with it until she asked, " _Are you going to open it or not?_ ".

Once the envelope was open it had taken Peter a few moments to register what he was looking at. When he did, he was rendered completely, and utterly, speechless.


	14. It's Hardly Murdering People

" _Why have you given me a lottery ticket?_ " Peter eventually asked, clearly flummoxed by the gesture.

Charlotte grinned at him from ear to ear. He looked down at the piece of pink and white paper in his hand, noticing that five of the numbers had been circled in black pen. He realised that he had been monumentally stupid not to have seen the rings around the numbers before, but his oversight suddenly seemed so insignificant. " _How much?_ "

" _Not the jackpot, sadly, 'cos that was 1.3 million_ ", she looked over and could see he was holding his breath, " _£4065"._ His eyes widened. No it wasn't the jackpot, but it was a very decent sum of money.

" _I_ _thought we could use it as a deposit for a house",_ Charlotte continued, " _I_ _mean...if you want to...or we could go on holiday, maybe to the place in Ireland where you used to live? Or both? But with your promotion at work, I thought we could afford a house"._

Upon reflection Peter knew that this was the moment he should've ended things with Charlotte. It was at this point he should've told her to keep the money, that he didn't want to by a house with her, that their relationship was over, but that isn't what he did. Instead, he pulled her into a tight embrace and whispered " _I love you_ ".

The problem was, he wasn't lying.

*

When Peter arrived at the office he was surprised to find that his colleagues had organised a corny 'congratulations on your promotion' party in the kitchenette for lunchtime. There was a banner made from flimsy printer paper, a store brought victoria sponge with 'congratulations' written clumsily across the top, and a rather large tin of Fox's Biscuits. Peter was touched by the effort his colleagues had made. It reminded him of the time Assumpta had handed him a petition, signed by almost the whole village, stating that they didn't want him to be sent back to Manchester. The memory of those pages made his heart ache for the little village in County Wicklow and the people who he had come to call his friends. He briefly considered Charlotte's earlier comment about visiting "the place in Ireland" where he used to live, but he soon realised that he shouldn't want to go to Ballykea with her, infact he shouldn't want to go anywhere with her. But he couldn't deny that he did.

Peter spent the entire morning desperatly trying to distract himself, knowing that as soon as he stopped he would start to feel an all to familair sense of turmoil and foreboding. Once again he was starting to feel like he was drowning, desperately searching for a life boat while his limbs became weights pulling him down into the abyss. Why where his heart and mind such sadists when it came to love? He felt like he was reliving the anguish he found himself in just over two years ago; except this time his heart was being torn in two by his love for Assumpta and Charlotte, not Assumpta and the church.

One of the many things Peter struggled to understand was how he could've felt so strongly about Assumpta one moment, but then feel sheer love and devotion to Charlotte the next. While he had been in Assumpta's company his choice had seemed so easy, so natural. He loved her. He had loved her for so long and he loved her so much it caused him physical pain. She haunted his dreams and had changed his life beyond recognition. He couldn't bare the thought of spending his life without her. So, why didn't he walk away when Charlotte had made her devotion to him and their future together clear? Why had he embraced her? And most importantly why had he whispered "I love you"?

When lunchtime had finally arrived he had been unsuccessful in his attempts to prevent his mind from wandering to the dangers of temptation and the role of Eve in the origional sin. His thoughts would drift back to the night of his conversation with Anne and how he'd considered the role of the Devil in his current state of misfortune, but then he would recall how happy he had felt in Assumpta's company and how touching it was that Charlotte wanted to use her winnings to start their lives together, two feelings that he believed could only come from God. But God wouldn't approve of his actions, so maybe it all was the work of the Devil. The.more Peter thought about it the clearer it became that he had been acting out of character recently evidenced by the fact that he'd partaken in an illicit rendezvous. Not only had he betrayed Charlotte and committed a mortal sin, he had practically told his girlfriend he wanted to spend his life with her when he had already told Assumpta the same thing.

He knew he needed guidence and absolution.

*

The morning came and went, and before anyone knew it the afternoon had arrived. Over lunch Peter had been told by Charlotte's supervisor that she had to leave work early because her father had been taken ill and she would call him later this evening, but it seemed likely that she would be away for a few days. She had left him a note apologising for missing his family party, but she hoped he would have a "tolerable time".

Peter decided that he would use his new found alone time to seek clarity and advice from God, smooth things over with his sister and speak with Assumpta.

He looked over at the phone on his desk and checked the time. He knew it wouldn't be wise to use his workline to make an international call, but he didn't need to leave for another twenty minutes and he really wanted to speak to her.

*

It was almost 8pm by the time Peter had worked up the courage to go to his sister's. His train had arrived at the station almost three hours earlier, but instead of heading to face the fallout from their last conversation he had opted to spend a a disproportionate amount of time hanging around the local Wetherspoons. He eventually reasoned that 8pm would a perfect time to face her because Toby would be home and the girls would be in bed and therefore it was highly unlikely that Anne would cause a scene.

As Peter stood at the front door he shifted his weight in an attempt to expend some of his nervous energy. Just as he was was about to leave the door opened a crack and Toby peered though. He saw the older man check behind him, presumably for his wife, before opening the door further and stepping outside.

" _I don't think you should be here Peter mate"_ , Toby said, gesturing for his brother-in law to leave. Much to his frustration Peter nodded but didn't move. At that point annoyance spread over Toby's face, " _Look, I don't know what happened between you two, but she is acting weird. She's praying, goin' to church -"_

" _Oh come on Toby. She's going to church and praying? Hardly murdering people is it?_ ", Peter interrupted.

" _Thats not the point. Whatever was said between you has really shaken her. She seems muddled. Doesn't know if she's coming or going and has been goin' on about getting the girls Christened_ "

Peter's natural instinct was to launch into speech about the purpose of baptism, confession and mass, but he knew it would be falling on death ears. Instead he asked if his brother-in-law would pass on a message.

" _You can tell me yourself_ " Anne's voice came from behind her husband. Toby tried to hide his concerned expression as he left the two siblings on the doorstep.

Peter watched Anne sit down and pull her legs to her chest, wrapping her oversized cardigan around her in an attempt to take off the evening chill. The road was dark apart from the light eminating from a few streetlights and unclosed curtains, the night's air had become crisp and the only sound was the occasional passing car.

The pair sat on the doorstep in silence, niether looking at eachother, neither knowing what to say. Anne had several sarcastic and smart alec comments she'd been planning on using when they finally had the impending coversation, but she didn't have the strength to argue anymore. The problem was that she had started to believe that Peter's words were right, afterall, he had been an ordained priest, " _How can I get out the car?"_ she said tepidly breaking the silence.

Peter was so stunned by her question it caused him to jerk his head round to look at her, " _Oh Anne, you don't need to_ ". He saw her head was resting atop of her bent knees and her shoulders moving up and down crying silently.

" _Anne, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what I said. You aren't going to Hell and you aren't taking me with you_ ", he reached out and placed his hand gently on her shoulder, " _Anne, please look at me"_. After an excruciatingly long time she turned her head to look at him. "W _hat I said was unfounded. I wanted you to feel like I did, at least partially, so I intentionally said something I knew would upset you. It was a horrible thing to do. I cannot apologise enough_ ".

" _So you don't believe I'm going to Hell?_ "

" _Me? Personally? No I don't. I've told you before about my own beliefs in God. You and your family have been the one constant in my life for the last two years and have helped me make the difficult transition to living as a layperson. How could God punish you after all you've done to support me? You're a good person...even if you're a lapsed Catholic"_ he tried to gauge her reaction but she sat staring blankly ahead, " _Anne, I'm not asking for your forgiveness, because frankly I don't deserve it, but by God's good grace -"_

" _Don't quote me at me you idiot!_ " Anne scoffed as she playfully nudged him in the arm. Peter smiled. That was his sister. " _Anyway, I'm not what you'd call lapsed anymore; more intermittent"._

" _Yeah, To_ _by said you've been going to church and praying, like it was something heinous. I did try to point out that it wasn't on par with murdering people, but I got the impression he doesn't agree_ "

Anne let out a small chuckle, " _he doesn't understand ya'know. When I told him you were going to the seminary he didnt even know what it was"_

Peter raised his eyebrows and looked at her with astonishment, " _seriously_?" before joking " _you married an idiot"_

" _Yeah but my kids are beautiful. So it was worth it_ " she replied in an equally jovial tone. They both knew things weren't back to normal, but they were moving in the right direction.

The pair sat silently on the steps appreciating the stillness of the evening.

 _"I think I may have done something stupid_ " Peter eventually said.

*

 _ **A/N** : I found this chapter really difficult to write. I've rearranged it, edited it and moved things to and fro the next chapter so many times that I'm sure I've put things back to their origional place. So I'm sorry if it is a bit naff._

 _I suspect I can guess what some of you thought Charlotte's surprise was from the last chapter; I did toy with the idea but it didn't fit into my plan - although I wouldn't rule it out completely_.

 _Also, updates are definitely going to slow down slightly (I'm going to aim for one very two days) because of work_


	15. Tell Me Everything

_**A/N** : I've editied this while sleep deprived._

*

Dr Ryan had given Niamh the okay to spend the day shopping in Cilldargan with the expressed understanding that she didn't walk too far and avoided any strenuous activity. ' _Fat chance of that'_ she scoffed looking down towards her feet. Now she was fast approaching 38 weeks, she waddled everywhere so she knew she wasn't going to be going anywhere far, let alone fast.

She was excited to spend the day browsing the shops, spending money and catching-up with her best friend. She'd barely seen Assumpta since her confinement and they'd only had a brief conversation in the street before the publican had gone away for a few days. When Assumpta had returned she looked far from happy and Niamh had hoped their little excursion would help lighten her friend's mood, but it didn't seem to be working.

The two women had spent he morning leisurely strolling through the streets of Cilldargon browsing the shops and looking for some new shoes for Assumpta. They inevitably found themselves looking through rails of baby clothes. Niamh had found a purple gingham dress with yellow applique flowers dotted along the hem, " _what do you think of this?"_ she asked holding it up for her companion to see.

" _It's lovely_ " Assumpta replied without even giving the dress a cursory glance. Their entire morning had been like this and it was really starting to get on Niamh's nerves.

" _You could at least pretend to be interested Assumpta. You're meant to be my friend - my best friend - and this is my first proper day out in ages and you're not even pretending to have a good time - "_. She was about to launch into a tirade about Assumpta's failings as a friend but she caught her expression and stopped. Assumpta looked forlorn. " _So, what did you do while away? Did something bad happen_?"

Assumpta began to fiddle with some clothing on a nearby rail, " _I spent the day with someone_ ",

Niamh raised her eyebrows and placed the dress back on the rail, " _someone? someone I know?_ "

" _Yes, you know him_ ", she made a point of turning away to aviod eye contact. Niamh considered the possibilities; it had to be someone Assumpta liked enough that she would travel to see him, but also someone who could easily upset her. She could only think of one man.

" _Leo_?" she said with a little more enthusiasm then she meant to. She knew her friend's marriage was meant to be over, but she still held out hope that one day her friend would come to her senses and realise she had a good thing going with that man.

Assumpta spun round to face her friend, " _No Niamh. Not Leo",_ she snapped. Niamh had always pushed her to rekindle her relationship with the reporter, even after she had expressly told her their marriage had ended. " _Why are you so obsessed with that man? Anyone would think you had a crush on him_ ".

" _Well he is your husband. And what if I did? You don't want him",_ harsh but true, " _It's the lure of forbidden fruit_. _After all, you'd know all about that"_. Niamh bit her lip. She knew that her last comment was likely to incite a row

 _"And what exactly is that supposed to mean?"_

" _Oh come on Assumpta! Stop playing games. It's been years. Years. Just admit it already. You've alway wanted Father Clifford"_.

Then there was silence. The two women stood face-to-face not knowing what to say or do. Niamh had noticed Assumpta's reaction following her accusation and didn't know what to say. Assumpta was fed-up of denying her feelings and desperately wanted to tell her best friend everything, but Niamh could be so judgemental. She was sure her friend would take Kathleen Hendley's crown as village gossip one day.

For a brief moment they forgot they were in the middle of a boutique baby clothes store. Upon realising where they were both women's eyes darted around checking to see if anyone had been in in ear shot of their argument. After discovering they were safe Niamh grabbed Assumpta's arm and slowly guided her to the door.

As soon as they stepped outside Niamh apologised. Like most people in the msall County Wicklow village she had suspected the priest and the publican had desires for something more than friendship, but she had never directly confronted her friend about her behaviour (although she had came close and had implied it). When she had seen Assumpta's face she had immediately known she was right, but the pain and anguish that had accompanied the publican's brief smile had pushed her feelings of smug satisfaction to the wayside. Assumpta merely acknowledge the apology and suggested they go to a cafe to talk.

*

Once their tea and scones had arrived Assumpta finally started to open up to her friend. She didn't tell her that her few days away had involved spending the day locked in a hotel room with him, but she explained how she felt. Niamh sat nodding and responing with phrases such as "I see" and "I understand" until Assumpta finally said " _I've loved Peter for years_ ".

This made Niamh's eyes widen. "Years, as in plural?", her friend nodded in acknowledgement. This revelation unsettled her, she could cope with Assumpta admitting that she had a crush on Father Clifford, because that was all Niamh had assumed it was, but for Assumpta to declare that she loved the man, well that was serious. Assumpta was one of those women who usually got what they wanted, her beauty and unusual charm was enough to make many men weak at the knees.

" _Assumpta, y_ _ou didn't have a fling with our priest, did you?_ ". Her companion shifted in her seat, which made Niamh even more uncomfortable, _"I mean, it's one thing to be attracted to one - a priest that is - but to actually do it, well that's another matter"._ Her friend's lack of response unnerved her and Niamh kept frantically twisting her napkin between her hands trying to manage the physical symptoms of agitation. _"Don't get me wrong, Father Peter is attractive, if he wasn't a priest and I wasn't married_ , b _ut to actually sleep with one, to seduce the clergy, well that's just plain debauched_ ".

Assumpta wasn't surprised by Niamh's assumption, but it still saddened her that someone she'd known for so long would think so little of her.

" _Are you quite done_?" she finally managed to interject, " _he_ _is no longer a priest and nothing happened while he was in Ballykea"._ Assumpta considered the truth of her last statement before speaking again.

" _Well, thats not strictly true, something happened in your kitchen -"_

" _My kitchen?_ I _eat in my kitchen, I feed Ciaran in my kitchen"_

" _Nothing like that Niamh. He kissed me. Well, he kissed my neck, but I stopped it. If I didnt then something might've - would've - happened But but I stopped it because it was wrong_ ".

Her friend looked at her questioningly before Assumpta let out an exasperated sigh, " _Niamh, I do have some morals you know. I know its wrong to have sex with a priest. Give me a break!_ "

Niamh, although annoyed and frustrated, was integued. " _Okay, tell me everything_ ".

Niamh sat listening to her friend recount how he had fallen madly in love with the curate. She couldn't imagine how difficult it must've been for Assumpta to harbour such strong feelings for someone she could never have. Her sympathy was intensified when she began to relay the things Peter had done that indicated her reciprocated her affections.

"He _stood in my kitchen and said "_ I care for you Assumpta _", what does that even mean?_ " her friend said quietly looking into her tea cup, " _I stayed because of him, but I left because if him as well"_.

Assumpta was even more hesitant to tell Niamh about her motives for marrying Leo. In one breath she had been defending her morality, but in the next she would be admitting to the most shameful and selfish thing she could ever have done.

 _"Oh Assumpta, don't tell me you married Leo because of Peter?"_

" _I don't know what I was thinking Niamh. Well, thats not strictly true, I do know what I was thinking, but it makes no sense_ ". By this point Niamh had moved her chair so she was sitting next to, rather than opposite, her friend. " _I didn't love Leo when I married him, I married him because I thought he would drive Peter from my head. I knew Leo loved me and I thought if I was with someone who loved me, someone who loved me enough to give up everything for me, then I could be happy and I wouldn't dream of Peter. But I was wrong Niamh. I was so wrong"_

" _shhhh, it's okay_ "

" _It's not okay though is it Niamh? I treated Leo appallingly. I broke his heart and jumped on it. Everytime he touched me I imagined he was Peter. I couldn't even let him touch me without wishing, thinking and imagining he was someone else. How I didn't slip-up I don't know_ ".

" _Oh come on Assumpta_ , w _e've all been there_ " Niamh said in an attempt to lighten the mood. It was a dengerous gamble, but it paid off.

" _You've imagined Peter Clifford when you're with Ambrose?_ " she smirked

Niamh flicked her hair back and replied, " _among others. Now tell me about your non debauched day of passion with our former curate_ ".

*

There was a persistent rapping on the door that was really getting on Orla's nerves. She had already shouted at the would-be patron that they didn't open for an hour but whoever it was wouldn't give up. She considered going to the door holding the pairing knife she was currently using to chop tomatoes and reiterating her point. But she knew if her boss got wind of it, no matter how invaluable she had made herself, she'd probably be fired. Unless it was Aidsen or Father Marc, then she'd probably get a payrise.

The barmaid didn't open the door fully, but enough to see the man on the otherside did not look like the kind to be banging on a pub door in the morning. He had an air of sophistication about him that she immediately found alluring. " _I'm afraid we're closed_ " she said throwing him a seductive smile, " _but I finish at three if you're interested"._

" _You're a bit forward for a country gal aren't ya?_ ", the patron said while leaning his weight against the door, " _anyway, I can't take you out. I'm your boss' husband"._

*

Orla was greatful the pub was dead because it gave her an opportunity to talk to Leo MacGarvey. She found him fascinating. She'd never met a reporter before and she was enthralled by his stories of the world of cut-throat journalisn and the bright lights of London. They were in the middle of a conversation about his upcoming role in the Middle East when the phone rang, Orla reluctantly pulled herself away from the pub's sole patron and answered it.

" _Hello, Fitzgerald's pub and accommodation. Orla speaking. How can I help you?_ " she said with a song-song style to her voice. The man on the end of the phone had an English accent and the barmaid would've bet year's wages that the voice belonged to Father Peter Clifford.

" _I'm afraid she's not here, but Mr MacGarvey is_ " ensuring her voice eas loud enough for Leo to hear. She knew the caller wouldn't be inclined to speak with Leo, but that wasn'tt why she had mentioned his name.

" _Let me just check I've got this right"_ , she made eye contact with Leo, " _you're name is Peter and you want Assumpta to call you this evening"._

Leo stood up quickly and dashed across the bar. Before she could realise what was happening he snatched the reviever from her hand.

*

Assumpta walked through the door just in time for Orla to finish her shift. She knew she'd asked alot of her new barmaid recently and didn't want to be seen to be taking advantage of her good nature.

" _Thanks so much Orla, I owe you big time",_ she said with a smile, "n _ow get yourself off home_ ".

It was clear to any regular observer that the landlady's demeanour was much improved.following her shopping trip with Niamh. Most people would've guessed that it was the retail theraphy that had done her a world of good, but Niamh and Assumpta both knew it was because she had finally unburdened herself to her best friend. The only piece of information Assumpta had intentionally forgotten to mention was that she suspected Peter had a girlfriend, but that was a conversation for another time.

Assumpta made her way towards the kitchen before Orla stopped her. The landlady furrowed her brow and was about to enquire about her behaviour but Orla spoke first " _you're husband's in the kitchen. He suggested he wait there 'cos he'd scare off the regulars"_.

*

Leo sat at the table flicking through the copy of ' _The Scarlett Letter_ ' he'd found on the table. 'Interesting choice' he mused, wondering how far the similarities between Hester and Dimmesdale, and his wife and Peter Clifford ran.

He didn't turn to see who had entered the kitchen, but he knew who it was. "V _ery apt that I'd find this here don't ya think_?" he said holding the book above his head so that she could see.

She ignored his attempt to goad her into a confrontation, " _Why are you here Leo?"_

" _Papers. Thought it would be polite to deliver them by hand"_

" _Give them here then"._

He dark haired man twisted round to face his wife, "yo _u said you weren't screwing the priest"_

Assumpta sighed. " _Not this again Leo. How many times must I tell you? I was not sleeping with the priest. I wasn't screwing, as you so elegantly put it, Peter, Father Mac or any others you might think I've wanted to get my hands on"_

" _You weren't screwing him then, but you are now_ ".

" _What?_ ", she was slightly taken aback by his last statement. She wasn't sure if he had guessed, or assumed, or whether he knew something. Up until that point Leo had only suspected that his wife's relationship with the priest had progressed from longing glances and unspoken words to physical intimacy, but in that moment her expression told him everything.

" _There's_ _point in denying it Assumpta, your face says it all. I hope he was good"._ The reporter tried to decipher her body language, but she now wore a stoic expression _. "He called here while you were out. I've listed adultery and unreasonable behaviour as reasosn for our divorce"._

Leo placed the divorce papers on the table taking crare to flatten them with the palm of his hand. Almost immediately Assumpta bent over to quickly skim read and sign them. She was just about to put pen to paper when she suddenly stood up straight and placed the pen down carefully in the table.

" _You've named Peter as a third party. You can't do that"_

" _Well I have_ "

" _Leo, you must know I can't sign these with his name on them. We didn't have sex while we were together. The most illicit thing thay ever happened between us was when he held my hand. Please Leo, please remove his name"_. She was desperate, she knew that being named in her divorce preceedings would damage Peter's reputation and she didn't want to cause him any pain or suffering.

" _No Assumpta. I will do no such thing. You used me. I loved you and you used me. You used my love to manipulate me. I know you thought about him when you were with me. I'm not that stupid. I was in love. I just wished you'd cared enough about me to consider the implications of your actions"_

 _"Leo, I do care about you, I just don't love you. Not like that anyway"_ she offered as a platitude

 _"Sign it, don't sign it. I don't care. If you sign it as is, then this is amicable and a clean break, if you don't then it'll go through the courts and it'll be messy. It's enrirely up to you"._ He stood up and walked to the backdoor leaving Assumpta holding the papers, " _I'll be back for those in the_ _morning. That'll give you a chance to talk to lover-boy"._

Assumpta considered challenging him, but she knew she'd put him through enough already. She really needed to speak to Peter.

Just before Leo walked out the door he turned to her, _"Oh, j_ _ust a piece of friendly advice: watch that barmaid, she's up to something"._


	16. I Don't Know

Charlotte's eyes were fixated on the black screen next to her father's bed. She wasn't really looking at it, although her outward appearence would've suggested otherwise, she was just staring blankly ahead and the screen provided something for her to focus on. She'd never had to visit anyone in hospital before and she found the impersonal and sterile atmosphere a bit disconcerting.

She stood up and circled the room in an attempt to relieve the dull ache in her legs. She had spent almost four hours in the car on the motorway, further three hours sat in a chair next to her dad and now she had a headache, most likely caused by dehydration.

" _Any change_?" her sister Judith asked when she entered the room.

Charlotte shook her head, and took the cardboard cup her sister offered her. " _The nurse has been in and done his observations, but he said there was nothing significant to note"_.

Both women stood in silence looking at their father, both silently cursing the volatile nature of their father's condition.

After a few minutes of somber silence Judith finally spoke, " _you look almost as rough as dad"_

" _Thanks_ "

" _No seriously. Are you okay?_ " her voice showing genuine concern, " _You're looking really haggered"_

Charlotte turned to her sister and Judith could see the sadness in her eyes. She pulled her into a hug, " _come on, lets go grab some chocolate cake and talk about it. Dad'll be alright on his own for a bit"._

*

The hospital cafe was a dreary place that reminded Charlotte of a school canteen. She had sat stabbing her cake with a fork and nursing her very milky tea for at least ten minutes before her sister had asked her what was wrong.

Charlotte had been reluctant to answer. She considered lying or being economical with the truth, but deep down she knew that it wouldn't help her situation. She knew she needed advice, and that her sister would always keep her confidence.

After taking a deep breath and ensuring she kept her eyes firmly focused on the half eaten cake in front of her she told her sister the biggest secret of her life.

At her sister's insistence Charlotte elaborated on how she came to be in such a situation. She explained how Peter always seemed to be holding part of himself back and how she had become increasingly jealous of whatever, who whomever, held that part of his heart. When he had gone to visit his family in Manchester Charlotte had invited several friends round for takeaway and drinks. One particular friend had hung back, listened to her problems and in drunken haze they had fallen into bed.

Although she felt guilty, she had decided to pretend that her one-night-stand had never happened. She distenced herself from the friend in question and for almost a month she had kept up the charade of domestic bliss. But then she had started to feel tired, more tired then she had ever felt in her life. It was all consuming, her limbs, her mind and her eyes all craved sleep. That was when she knew.

Her immediate reaction was to try and convince herself that the baby was Peter's, even though she knew the chance of that was near impossible. In a misguided attempt to persuade herself, and ultimately Peter, Charlotte had instigated intimacy at every opportunity, but rather than bringing the couple closer together they seemed to drift further and further apart. It was this increased distance that was causing Charlotte to doubt her plan; she loved Peter and would happily marry him in an instant, but if he didnt feel the same way about her then they would ultimately be unhappy.

" _Are you one hundred percent sure it's not his?_ " Judith eventually asked, but she could tell from his sister's expression she was certain.

" _If I tell him I'm pregnant I know he'd marry me in a heartbeat. He wouldn't even consider the baby isn't his_ "

" _Then don't tell him. He'd need never know_ " Judith said after taking a long sip of tea,

" _But I'd know_ ", she sighed, " _plus we've been having problems. He says he loves me, and I believe he does, but - I dunno - something just isn't right_." She took a deep breath, " _plus I don't think I can do that: one stupid mistake followed by a lifetime of lies. It's not fair on him. He's a good man"_

" _So, what are you going to do?_ "

" _I don't know_ ".


	17. The Fire

_**A/N** : sorry this took longer than anticipated; I have a teething toddler in a heatwave._ Re-editied 19/7/18

*

The siblings remained on the step for several minutes after Peter's confession, neither of them uttering a word, neither of them sure what to say. The night had become colder and the air was stiller which only intensified by the couple's reluctance to speak. Peter could tell from his sister's demeanor that she didn't approve of his recent behaviour, but uncharacteristically she remained silient. He could only assume she was biting her tongue due to the role she had played in reigniting his relationship with Assumpta and that Toby had, albeit unbeknownst to himself, had been complicit in organising their recent tryst.

The silence was eventually broken by the lights and siren of a passing ambulence, which reminded Peter of Charlotte's father. Until that moment he had been looking forward to going home to an empty flat and, hopefully, talking to Assumpta in the privacy of his own home, but seeing the ambulance caused a feeling of guilt to swell up inside him.

Within moments of the ambulance passing, as if triggered by the event, Anne said in a matter-of-fact tone:

" _It's simple really: if you were in an accident, ended up in a coma, whose face would ya like to see when you woke up? Whose voice would ya like to hear? And who would you be dreaming o_ _f?"_.

Until his sister had posed those questions Peter had never thought about his life in such simple terms.

Peter knew he loved Charlotte, he truly did, but not in the same way he loved Assumpta. He knew that given any senaro he'd want Assumpta by his side.

The question was: how does he move forward?

*

After Leo had left, Assumpta had spent the rest the evening working in a daze. She desperatly wanted to call Peter to discuss her divorce, but she also wanted to find out whether Leo's supposition about Orla had any substance to it. She decided to wait until after closing to call the former priest and use the rest if the time to probe her friends and regulars about the barmaid, after all, if she phoned Peter after hours they could have a proper private and intimate conversation.

" _So, how was things while I was away"_ she asked Brendon while giving one of the taps a clean.

" _Same old, same old_ " the headteacher shrugged, " _have a nice trip did'ya? You've got a 'look' about you_ "

" _Lovely thanks. It'a always nice to catch-up with old friends_ "

" _Oh yeah? Sure it is_ ", he said rasing his eyebrows and in a tone that suggested he knew, or thought he knew, more than he was letting on. She wasn't going to rise to the bait.

" _How'd Orla cope on her own? How'd you find her?_ " he publican said redirecting the conversation down a path she felt would be more fitting

" _She doesn't have your stunning wit, reparté or charm. But as a barmaid she seems sufficient"_. This would've been a natural point to end the conversation, but she needed to know more. She remained still looking directly at het old friemd waiting for more. Taking the cue Brendon said, " _but she likes to talk that one. I bet that if she was given half the chance she would tell the entire village who you were visiting in London, that's if she could guess from her investigation"_

" _Investigation_?", maybe Leo was right.

" _Uh-huh_ ", he said with a quick nod, " _very interested in your past friendships, one in parricular"_. She knew what he was implying and flashed a quick smile in acknowledgement. " _So - Leo?_ "

" _Don't you have a home to go to?"_.

*

It was after 10.30pm when Peter finally arrived home. Although he felt guilty he was relieved by Charlotte's absence; it meant he would be able to talk to Assumpta completely uninhibited.

After making himself a cup of tea Peter checked the answer machine for messages. It had been almost eight hours since he had called Fitzgerald's and Charlotte was meant to have called in the evening with an update on her dad.

Upon seeing that there were no messages or missed calls Peter retrieved the address book from the drawer and flicked through the pages looking for Charlotte's sister's number. Regardless of his intentions he still loved Charlotte and was genuinely concerned for both her and her sister's wellbeing. It was unlike her to say she'd call and not, so he reasoned her dad's condition must be in a worse then expected.

He was about to dial the number when he caight sight of the clock on the wall. He knew Charlotte would appreciate the call, but he highly doubted Judith would. Thinking better of it he decided to turn onthe television to catch some of Newsnight while waiting for Fitzgerald's to close and Assumpta to call. Maybe the messy world of international politics would distract him from his owny messy existence?

*

Peter must've been drifting in and out of sleep because the sound of the phone ringing made him jump.

" _Hello? Peter speaking"_ , he said while rubbing his eyes

" _I miss you_ " a soft Irish voice said down the line, " _are you able to talk?_ ". His heart skipped a beat when he heard Assumpta's voice; he missed her so much.

" _I'm always at your beck and call_ " he replied light heartedly.

" _But that's not true now, is it Peter?"_. She was referring to Charlotte and he knew it. They'd not discussed his current living arrangements, or who had answered the phone when she had called here, so he knew this conversation was inevitable.

" _Strictly speaking no, but I will be_ ", but he was met with silence, so he pressed on, _"I will be Assumpta. I promise"_

" _I know Peter, but it just seems like there's always something in the way. First it was the Church and your vocation, then it was my marriage, then the ocean and now another woman and my divorce. Have you ever considered that this isn't meant to be?_ "

Her words hit him like a suckerpunch. Of course he'd considered it. He had spent months, years even, considering it, but he knew it was worth every excuritating moment. " _Assumpta, how can you say that? I mean, I thought this was what you wanted?"_ he asked with panic in his voice.

 _"It is, but don't you think it is too much effort? Like the world is conspiring against us and it would be easier to just give in and permanently go our seperate ways?_ "

Peter wasn't sure if he was recieving the modern day equivalent of a Dear John letter. But his heart was racing and he was starting to feel sick. He couldn't lose her again. With a deep breath he told her the narrative of his feelings.

" _The day I met you I thought you were beautiful and brave. In Manchester only an idiot would pick up some random man on the side of the road, I thought you were so brave and kind to take the chance. You actually scared me a little, but in a good way"_. The memory made him smile before continuing his soliloquy.

" _The night of the play I left after you kissed Edna, I couldn't bare to remain in the hall knowing thay you'd kissed him, desperatly wanting it to have been me. The day of the festival when a stone broke the window of the church, I should've been annoyed atbthe damage butam I saw you weren't there and I panicked. I couldn't bare the thought of you being hurt. That day when I helped you, touched you, I knew I was playing with_ _matches._

 _The day you said you were going to open a wine bar in Dublin I felt my heart break a little, I loved Ballykea, but I couldn't bare the thought of being there without you. I felt overjoyed when you said you were staying. That day I knew I was playing with fire._

 _The night in the pub, you and I drinking red wine, when you asked me what I wanted that I couldnt have, I was teetering on the edge. I knew I wanted you and if I had taken a bit more wine or you'd pushed me a little harder, then I know I would've said_ ".

He paused trying to gauge her reaction, but all he could hear was her quickening breathing.

" _The week I spent in that strange little village in Oxfordshire, when you walked in and I panicked, I thought you'd barred me for life and I'd never be allowed in your pub again. That scared me senseless._

 _The night we looked after the baby, it felt so natural and I'd imagined that we were a little family living in ordinary domestic bliss, knowing, believing, that it could never be. I thanked God for allowing me that short amount of time to imagine I was yours and you were mine._

 _That night in Killishee Woods when I held your hand, when I told you I'd freeze if you left, I meant it. The thoughts of you both literally and figuratively keep me warm. That night I knew the fire was raging._

 _The day after when I told you I was going on retreat and you cried, that day broke another piece of my heart. I wanted to go after you, to hug you, kiss you and declare my love for you infront of the entire pub, but I was scared. I wanted you and I was scared because until I met you all I'd ever wanted to serve God and be a priest. That day I knew the fire was an inferno and I hoped that a retreat would at least return it to embers"_.

It had taken all his strength to get him this far, but the most difficult memories were yet to come.

" _The day you came home with Leo, that was my undoing. My heart broke. I couldn't bare the thought of him touching you, holding you, spending a single moment in your company. It tore me up inside. I tried to forget you, to move on and refocus my life and devotion to God, but I couldn't. I couldn't knowing that I loved you so deeply._

 _That day the fire was reignited._

 _That night in Niamh's kitchen, if you hadn't stopped me kissing you then I wouldn't, couldn't, have stopped. I wanted you more than anything I'd ever wanted in my life. My actions weren"t brought out of carnal desires. My actions were driven by an all consuming love for you._

 _I left because couldn't keep up the charade any longer. I left because I didn't have the strength. I left because I believe in marriage, and I knew if I stayed and you permitted me, I would've willingly broken my vows and entered into an adulterous relationship. I knew then the fire was all consuming and would destroy me. I needed to make sure I could_ rebuild, _that I could survive_.

 _Assumpta, do you understand? It wouldn't be easier to give in and move on, not for me at least. I've tried Assumpta. I've tried and failed. I've tried and failed because the answer to my every prayer is you"_.

Assumpta was lost of words, suddenly a wave of emotion and adenaline rushed over her, causing her to both cry and shake at once. She couldn't believe how much her life had changed in under one week; she had just recieved her second declaration of undying love from Peter and this one had more meaning and feeling behind it then the first. With every example he had given, she could've responded in kind. Well, except for the one about Leo.

She had accepted that her treatment of Leo had been appalling but until Peter's second declaration of undying love she'd never considered how her actions impacted on him. She tried to compose herself enough to allow rational thought to take over her mind, but she failed miserably due to the endorphins caused by Peter's speech being counter acted by the guilt caused by marrying Leo.

" _Assumpta? Please speak to me. I'm sorry I made you cry_ ", Peter's voice was full of concern with a slight hint of regret. He mused that maybe his monologe had gone too far.

" _Don't be sorry. Its just...just...I'm sorry. I'm sorry for marrying Leo. It was selfish and foolish. I hurt you both and I can't take it back_ ", a feeble apology but the best she could do.

" _Maybe, maybe not. But all that matters is thay we can be together now_ ",

Her crying slowly subsided as though his words were a warm embrace, _"I love you Peter Clifford"._

*

As the night wore on the couple had talked into the very early hours. Assumpta had told Peter about the divorce papers and was surprised to find out that he was already aware. Peter explained that his earlier call had been interrupted by Leo and he had demanded to know what had been going on between the former curate and his wife. Peter was certain the reporter wasn't satisfied with his answer, which the pair decided would explain Leo's decision to cite Peter on the divorce Papers.

" _Assumpta, don't worry, it'll be fine. It's not even an issue over here. Just don't contest it_ ", he tried to reassure her. He didn't care if Leo cited him as the third party who caused irreperable damage to their marriage, after all, it was the truth. They may not have slept together while he was in Ballykea but Assumpta had admitted Leo left because he wasn't him.

Assumpta had finally agreed to sign the papers when Peter explained that if she refused, both their names would be dragged through the dirt in court, and it was far better to keep the matter private. Initially Assumpta had protested out of principle, but she desperately wanted to be legally free from Leo so she could be with Peter, so reluctantly she agreed.

" _I've gotta go. I've gotta be up for work in three hours",_ Peter said as he drew their conversation to a close _. "But one last thing: I have this family get-together at my sister's on Saturday. Will you come?"._

" _Of course I'll come Peter. I love you._ "


	18. In A Heartbeat

_**A/N** : thanks for the reviews and kind words. They all make me smile. I'm currently using the app and dont know how to reply directly to people on there._

 _Also, annoyingly, a huge chunk off this chapter dissapeared when I uploaded it. So I've had to take it down and re-upload it. I'm really sorry for those of you who may have got multiple notifications._

 _FYI- looking at my plan, I'd say there are about five more chapters to go, give or take a couple depending on how.I break it down._

*

Assumpta had spent most the morning walking round in a daze thinking about her latest conversation with Peter. Even Leo appearing to collect the divirce papers hadn't put a dampner on her mood. Not only had Peter presented her with another, much longer, monologue of never-ending love, he had also invited her to meet his family.

She felt both a mixture of elation and trepidation over the prospect of meeting the other members of the Clifford family. She knew very little about them, other than Peter had two brothers and a sister, and had no idea how much they knew about her.

" _Penny for 'em Assumpta_ " Paidrig called from the end of the bar. The landlady gave the mechanic a smile in acknowledgement,

" _What ya havin' Paidrig?",_ she was still smiling.

The mechanic eyed the Landlady sucipiously; she was being friendly and she was smiling, that meant something was going on. Paidrig knew better then to ask her himself, he'd been barred for much less then prying into Assumpta Fitzgerald's personal buisness, instead he would ask Brendon. Brendon would know, and if he didn't he'd be able to find out.

" _Pint of Harp please 'Sumpta"._

*

As the day went on Assumpta had very little time to think about Peter Clifford, but whenever she did the smile across her face and change in her general demeanor was obvious, so obvious infact that her regular customers had noticed, and not all of them were as sensible as Paidrig when it came to prying.

Just after lunch Brian had walked in with Father Mac to discuss some strategy or other that would boost both his and the Church's revenue.

 _"What's up with you? Have your suppliers been givin' ya free kegs or somethin'? Cos if they have you could always pass those savings back onto your customers"_ Brian said in his normal condescending tone,

 _"Or the church"_ Father Mac chipped in,

" _If they have I shan't be passing my savings onto the likes of you_ " gestering towards Brian and then turning to Father Mac, " _or your sort_ ".

" _Now, now, Mrs MacGarvey, were paying customers_ ", the priest said in a droll tone, " _you can't be turning away buisness now can you? After all, it isn't exactly heaving in here out of tourist season, is it? All Mr Quigley did was enquire what had out you in such a good mood_ ".

Assumpta could feel her blood boiling as her body tempreture rose alongside her anger. The nerve of this man. If he hadn't sent Peter away on retreat, hadn't ensured there was distence between them, then they may well have faced their feelings years ago and skipped the mess they were currently in. If it wasn't for him she wouldn't even have been Mrs Leo MacGarvey. This was all his fault.

" _Out. You're barred_ ", she said without any inhibition as she marched to the door.

Paidrig, Liam and Donal shared wide-eyed glances as they watched the scene unfold. Almost everyone in the village had been barred from the pub at some point, but even Assumpta drew the line at the clergy. The only member of the clergy to have ever been barred was Father Clifford, and the whole village knew there was more to that story then anyone else knew.

" _Assumpta -_ " Paidrig started in an attempt to try and defuse the situation. Sure, Father Mac had been purposefully trying to get under Assumpta's skin by using her married name, and he knew full well that Leo had been gone for nearly eighteen months, but her response seemed a bit disproportionate to what had been said.

" _Shut it Paidrig, or you'll be joining them_ ", the Landlady spat as she pulled open the door.

" _Them",_ Brian looked.confused _, "I'm barred to. What'd I do?_ ",

" _The company you keep_ " she said as she shot a filthy look at the older priest before continuing, " _get out or I'm calling the Garda"._

Father MacAnally turned to the buisnessnan as though seeking advice, but all Brian could do was pick up his hat, resigned to his fate, and leave.

He was quickly followed by the parish priest.

*

By Thursday evening Peter still hadn't heard anything from Charlotte and, regardless of his feelings for Assumpta, he was becoming increasingly concerned for her welfare. He had tried phoning Judith but there was always no answer. He was beginning to think that they may have been screening his calls. It seemed like quite an irrational idea, but he found it hard to believe that everytime he phoned, regardless of the time of day, they weren't home. Whenever he tried to dismiss his suspicious thoughts his mind would wander into the realms of worse-case-senaros. What if they'd been involved in an accident? Surely someone would've contacted him, afterall he and Charlotte were living together.

He decided it was far more likely that, for whatever reason, Charlotte didn't want to talk to him. Unsure of whether to be offended or relieved, Peter allowed himself to imagine Charlotte avioding him forever while he wanted for Assumpta to call.

*

" _So, I hear my dad and Father Mac have been barred from the pub_ ", Niamh said as Assumpta handed her a cup of tea.

" _Yeah, well_ ", she replied giving her friend a non-committal shrug and allowing her voice to trail off. She knew Niamh wouldn't drop it until she gave her something else to focus on.

Niamh was in her element listening to her friend describe her latest interaction with the former village priest. The most exciting thing that had happened to her recently was being able to go an entire hour without needing to visit the toilet.

" _There's just a couple of things that concern me about this entire situation. He still hasn't broken up with his girlfriend and he wants you to meet his family. Won't they think its weird that he'll turn up with a woman who isn't the person he is living with? And even if he does finish with her before Saturday, won't they think he's moved on fast?_ "

Assumpta looked at her feet and bit her lip. Niamh was right.

*

" _I'm looking forward to seeing you tomorrow_ " Peter said as soon as he answered the phone, his voice almost quivering with a mixture of excitement and anticipation.

" _For our first date?_ "

" _We've had a date. We've had several_ "

" _No we haven't_ ", she huffed. He'd better not be including our tryst in London. " _When_?"

" _London, obviously._ "

" _Peter, that was not a date. That was a booty call"_ , her voice clearly showing her annoyence.

" _It was not! Well, maybe a little, but I didn't intend it to be_ ". Peter felt slightly guilty, he hadn't thought about their love making in such crude terms. Did she really think that was all it was, a booty call, because for him it was so much more. " _We had my driving lessons_ ",

" _Not a date"_ ,

" _When we met by the Blessed Virgin"_ ,

Assumpta scoffed, " _not a date, and if it was it would've been an awful one_ ",

" _Saving the ram from Brian Quigley?_ ",

" _Not forgetting rescuing a drunk Siobhan from the scaffolding_ ", she took a moment to smile to herself at the memory. " _Again, not a date Peter_ ",

Peter was clutching at straws, " _errmm, the publican's race?"_

" _Nope_ ",

He bit his lip, " _Niamh's_ kitchen".

He heard a sharp intake of breath before there was a silence. He started to worry that he'd gone to far, over stepped the line by bringing up the event that was the final straw to breaking the camel's back. He opened his mouth to speak, to try and take the words back, knowing that he couldn't. He bit the inside of his lip harder this time, drawing blood. He needed to apologise, undo what damage that had been done. But before he managed to get he words out Assumpta spoke in a deep, husky voice:

" _That certainly wasn't a date Peter; if it was it would've ended very differently_ ". The empthaisis she put on 'very' sent shivers down his spine. He allowed his mind to drift back to how electrifying it had felt to kiss her lips, touch her skin and feel her body against his after so many years of longing. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath allowing his hand to wander at the memories.

" _Peter? Are you still there?_ ". Her voice made him jump and he quickly moved his hand away. She was intoxicating. He wondered if he could direct the conversation down a more risque route, maybe then she'd join him.

Assumpta took a deep breath, nonow or never, she thought: "W _hat is she like?_ "

The question hit him like a cold bucket of water. He hadn't been expevting that, not after their normal reparte. He had no chance of taking the conversation down _that_ route now.

" _Assumpta, please_ ", he begged. This was not a good conversation to have over the phone, regardless of how inevitable it was.

" _Fine then, don't tell me. You're obviously hiding something"._

" _I'm not_ ",

" _Then tell me. What is she like?_ ", he knew this woman, she was like a dog with a bone. The last time she had tried to pressure him into answering a question he would rather have avioded had been over two glasses of red wine in the pub. He had managed to escape that one by bringing up Mass and running off scared into the night. The only way to avoid this one would be to hang up, but the consequences of that would be dire.

" _She's nothing like you_ " he finally answered hoping that would placate her, but he should've known better.

" _That's not enough Peter. What is she like?"_ ,

" _Urgh, Assumpta, please. What could you possibly hope to achieve by doing this?"_ , it was a rehtorical question that he hoped may help make her see some sense, " _she is quite placid and laid back, gets on with most people, has ginger hair, brown eyes and is a team leader on the other floor at work. We met at work. Happy now?"_

" _Is she pretty?"_

" _Seriously Assumpta?_ ", he let out an exasperated sigh, " _how long is this going to continue?"_

" _Did you love her? Do you still love her?"_ ,

Lie. His brain was telling him to lie. Lie. Lie

He took a deep breath, silently prayed to God asking for forgiveness for whatbhe was going to say: " _I thought so, but I didn't and I don't"._ It was a lie, but was it really that far from the truth? His love for Charlotte was different to his love for Assumpta; it may have taken him a while to realise it, but his love for Charlotte was more familial tha romantic. He assumed that was how Assumpta had, or did, feel towards Leo. He knew that given their current situation Assumpta would never understand that.

" _But you're still together. You left me quick enough when things got tough_ "

That annoyed him. She knew very well why he had left Ballykea. He lowered his voice and spoke in a hiss, " _that is not a fair comparison Assumpta, and you know it. I left you because I couldn't have you. I couldn't have you because you married someone else -_ "

" _Well, I couldn't exactly marry you, could I?"_ , she interrupted before realising the implications of what she had said.

Peter's voice was almost a whisper, as though he was scared to say the words aloud, " _you would've married me?_ "

 _"In a heartbeat"._

*

Assumpta was feeling more secure about the situation with Peter's girlfriend as she readied herself for bed. She decided that in the morning she would ask Niamh and Brendon to watch the bar for the day and a half that she'd be away, that way she wouldn't be relying too heavily on Orla. After all, she wasn't entirely sure that she trusted that woman.

As she drifted off to sleep it suddenly dawned on her; she didn't own a copy of ' _The Scarlett Letter_ '.


	19. The Book

Assumpta couldn't sleep. She'd never even read the book, let alone owned a copy. She recalled a couple of her friends being involved in a stage production with the same name while at univeristy, she knew it was about an illicit affair between a married woman and a Puritan minister. ' _It can't be a coincidence'_ she mused.

She kept asking herself the same two questions; Why was there a copy in her kitchen? Surely Leo didn't bring one just to try and rile her? The book is about an affair, so maybe Leo did leave it in the kitchen in a passive aggressive attempt to get her goat. Then again, she had known Leo years and she knew he wasn't the passive aggressive type; he'd be much more likely to cause a scene in the middle of the pub.

She knew it was no use. She wasn't going to get any sleep until she knew more about the book and who could've left it there.

She quickly got out of bed, threw on a top and skirt and headed out the door. There was only one person who could tell her about the book at this time of night.

*

" _Assumpta, its two in the mornin'. What are you playin' at?"_ Brendon asked as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes

" _Tell me about the Scarlett Letter_ " the publican demanded with her arms crossed and angry eyes. He must stoll be asleep and dreaming of Assumpta being irrational.

" _You want to discuss literature on my doorstep at two in the mornin'?"_. He definitely must be dreaming.

 _"I'd rather not do it on your door step, but yes, I want to discuss literature at two in the mornin'"_. Their eyes met and the teacher eventually conceeded, stepping aside to let her past.

He followed his friend to the livingroom and was about to offer her a drink, but he noticed in the harsh light of the livingroom that she was exhausted.

" _Well_?", she asked with eager anticipation as she perched in the edge of the sofa.

" _It's a literally classic in the USA. About a married woman in a Puritan settlement who has a baby out of wedlock and how she is treated by the community. The major themes are sin and guilt, with a healthy dose of social ostracisation thrown in for good measure_ "

Assumpta bit her lip, unsure if she really wanted to know the answer, " _How's it end?_ ".

" _Turns out the woman's kid was fathered by the minister. His guilt eats him up inside and the book chronicles his fall from grace, its impact on his health, and how he dies shortly after declaring his sin to the entire village. By this point she has completely lost her faith and leaves"_ , he subconsciously rubbed his eyes as though reminding her of the time, " _anyway, why'd you care so much at two in the morning?"_

 _"Someone left a copy in my kitchen"_.

" _So?_ ". As soon as he saw the look on her face he realised that his long held suspicions were confirmed.

He wasn't getting any sleep tonight.


	20. Father Mac?

**A/N** : I _seem to have misjudged the number of chapters needed to tie this all up. When I was writing this chapter I decided that half of it (Peter and Assumpta's date) belonged in a chapter on it's own._

 _Thank you for taking your time to read and comment. It really does make my day._

*

The problem Ambrose Eagan had was that he was scared of Assumpta Fitzgerald. Sometimes he was also scared of his wife and his mother, but he was almost always scared of Assumpta.

Although he had known the publican for most of his life, her tendency to go from naught to one hundred mph within seconds still scared him witless. When they had been teenagers he had found her defiance and quick temper attractive (in the same way leading ladies are drawn to motocycle riding, leather jacket wearing danger junkies in films) and he had even asked her out on more than a few occasions (only to be turns down) but as they matured she came to embody almost everything he found terrifying in a woman: overtly domineering, shrewd and beautiful. But Ambrose knew better than to admit he thought she was beautiful, that would be like signing his own death warrant.

The Gard knew he owed Assumpta a great debt of gratitide for introducing him to her friend, Niamh Quigley, who had attended a private school in Cilldargon. That was why he would often let Assumpta walk dangerously close to the thin blue line of the law, but this time she had over stepped her mark.

Niamh had only been relieved of her bed rest a few days ago and the landlady had already asked her to watch the pub. As far as Ambrose was concerned it didn't matter that his wife would be acting in a "supervisory role" and that Brendon and Orla would be doing all the leg work, his wife was heavily pregnant and he was not having her getting stressed by manning, or supervising, the bar.

He hated confronting Assumpta, even more so when he didn't have the backing of the law, even when he knew he had the courts on his side he would dither. He could count the number of times he'd had the nerve to argue with her on one hand, but he knew it was his job, neigh duty, to protect his wife and unborn child from stress.

With a new sense of resolve he to marched into the pub to give the landlady a piece of his mind, only to find Orla behind the bar and his wife sitting on a stool staring sadly at an empty jar of chocolate spread.

Niamh had seen her husband enter the pub with an air of determination about him but expression of fear across his face. She knew exactly what the Garda had been intending on doing, and had accidently on purpose told him their friend was leaving a couple of hours later than she actually was. Upon seeing his crestfallen expression she felt a mixture of remorse and yearning. She found his alpha male, protect his woman and young, attitude to be quite sexy. Rather than opt to give into he primal instinct and drag her husband upstairs, she decided to succumb to her need for chocolate and ventured into the kitchen to find Assumpta's stash.

Niamh paid no mind to the book on the small kitchen table, instead making a beeline for the cupboard with the hazelnut chocolate spread. Assumpta had thought she was doing her friend a favour by hiding all the chocolate bars, but she underestimated the resourcefulness of a heavily pregnant woman, and Niamh was more than happy to spoon the spread directly into her mouth. Grabbing herself a teaspoon she gleefully took the jar of spread to the kitchen table. Niamh closed her eyes to savour the chocolatey nutty taste before her husband reared his head.

Ambrose knew better then to try and assert his dominence over his wife, especially as he didn't actually have any. He had told her he didn't want her working at the pub while she was heavily pregnant, but once gain his wife had chosen to ignore him. He stood in the kitchen doorway watching Niamh unsure.of what to say or do, "w _here's she gone anyway?_ ", the Gard eventually asked. Niamh immediately knew who Amrose meant,

" _London_ ",

" _Leo_?", he had to admit he was genuinely surprised. Leo had only been in the village a few days back and his childhood friend seemed less then interested or even that bothered by his apparence.

" _Nope_ ",

" _But it is about a man, right?_ ", maybe that would explain her good mood.

" _Yep_ ", Niamh replied befor having another spoonful of spread,

Ambrose was confused. He didn't understand why she would need to go to London to see a man. The only man she knows who lives in England was Leo and he was only here the other day. He furrowed his brow, " _she only knows one person in the whole of England"._

" _No she doesn't_ ". Niamh waited, her husband clearly wasn't going to make tge connections without help. " _Oh for God's sake Ambrose. Who did she spend near on three years making googly eyes at? Why do ya think Father Mac was hanging around here so much then stopped, eh?"_

" _Father Mac? Eeww, that's disgusting_ " , then he paused for a moment to think, " _but he's a priest...and not in England_ ".

" _Not Father Mac_ ", was he seriously this oblivious and stupid, " _come on Ambrose. Stop being dense. How many young attractive Englishmen come through here? How many do the parish priest want to keep an eye on_?"

The moment that the puzzle pieces clicked into place Ambrose Eagan's face was a picture. He was both wide eyed, and open mouthed pale. Niamh could see her husband was trying to talk but he couldn't seem to string any sentences together. " _You mean Father Peter? Assumpta's carryin' on with Father Peter? A Priest. Father Peter. I mean, seriously, Father Peter?"_

" _Calm down love. He isn't a priest anymore, so it's hardly scandalious_ ",

 _"It is Niamh_ ", his expression told her he genuinely believed his words, " _Father Peter? Really? I wouldn't have put him down as the type. Father Peter?"_

" _Yes Ambrose, Peter. What exactly are you tryin' to do by sayin' his name so much? Incarnate him? It's not that big of a deal_ ". It was. She knew it was, but she couldn't let Ambrose know that. Instead she spooned another mouthful of spread into her mouth.

Ambrose wasn't sure how to continue the conversation. His repetitive use of the former curate's name was clearly bugging her and he didn't want to go home just yet. Instead he looked around the kitchen to find something to talk about, or if that failed he'd go get a pint. Just as he was about to leave his wife to her gluttony he spotted the book on the table

He held it up for Niamh, " _Dont you think that having this layin' around is a wee bit inconspicuous given the current curcumstances?_ "

*

Orla was more than slightly irratated when Assumpta had told her Niamh was "supervising" the pub and Brendon was "lending a helping hand". She had managed alone before and she had done a good job, the landlady had even said so herself. She had even provided the listening ear Assumpta needed when she had wanted to talk about her liasion with Peter Clifford, which goes above and beyond her job description.

The barmaid knew the problem was Niamh; Assumpta had obviously told her oldest friend about her dallience with the former curate while they had been out shopping, meaning she didn't need to confide in a mere employee anymore. She could feel anger brewing and couldn't help but throw the pregant Eagan a dirty look.

" _She's just sittin' there while I do all the work_ " she mumbled to herself

" _Well she is nine months pregnant Orla, what'd ya expect? She ain't gunna be changin' the barrells is she?_ " quipped Paidrig. Orla hadn't even realised she was close enough for the mechanic to hear her speak,

" _Another pint Paidrig?_ " she asked with an obviously fake smile.

Paidrig realised he very rarely spoke with the curate's sister other than to tell her which pints to pull, which made him feel slightly anti-social. Granted, he wasn't what you'd call a social butterfly, but he wasn't a hermit either; he was on good terms with everyone in the village and called them all by their Christian names. But he didn't know anything about Orla O'Connell beyond her apperence, job, and that she was Father Aiden's sister.

As soon as Orla had put his drink down on the bar, giving him.another fake smile, Paidrig grabbed his opportunity, " _So Orla, how are things_ ",

" _Oh grand Paidrig, grand_ ",

" _That good, eh? Did I ever tell ya that I used to be a reporter?"_ , judging by her facial expression that seemed to spark her interest, " _ya see, the other day Father Mac was in here with Kathleen, and Kathleen, well, she don't come in here due to the sin and debauchery_ ",

" _Yeah well, sin and debauchery aside, she always seems very interested in the comings and goings. Either that or her steps must get very dirty 'cos she sweeps them multiple times a day"_.

Good. They had an understanding. " _So, I was wondering if you'd heard anything about Father Mac being promoted to Bishop?"_

Orla burst out laughing, startling Paidrig and causing him to spill his drink. " _What? No. Why'd you think that?_ " she managed to spit out between laughter.

" _Well, something's goin' on with him. I was hoping that you'd be able to help me find out, with your brother being the curate and all"_ he said in a disappointed tone,

" _Paidrig, my brother doesn't talk to me about church politics. If I'm honest I doubt he even knows the thing exists_ " she said with a small chuckle, " _anyway, I can't help everyone"._


	21. The Date

Assumpta had spent a fair amount of her journey to pondering who was responsible for leaving the book in her kitchen. She couldn't decide whether it was an act of passive aggression, a joke, or if someone was deliberately trying to rile her. She had already ruled out Leo, but there was always the possibility it was Brendon trying to be clever, Niamh trying to prove a point or maybe even Father Mac trying to vex her.

Upon reflection she should've asked Brendon the previous night, but anger, dismay, and fear, had consumed her. She was angry that someone felt they could bully her, dismayed that someone she knew would do something so ghastly, and fearful of the message the book sent.

Deep down Assumpta knew that if Brendon was responsible he would've admitted it as soon as he had seen her reaction, and Niamh had seemed genuinely happy for her, it was Peter's dallying she wasn't impressed with. Furthermore, she wouldn't want to hurt her oldest friend.

In fact, the more she thought about it the more it seemed like the parish priest could be responsible, especially after she had humiliated him by barring him so publicly. The only problem with that hypothesis was that Father Mac wouldn't have had access to her kitchen.

*

Once she arrived at her hotel Assumpta's focused completely changed. Her concern and worry over the book was pushed to the back of her mind and replaced by an overwhelming feeling of excitement for her first date with Peter.

It sounded silly: their first date. Peter hadn't been far off the mark, and although the examples he had given weren't romantic, it had been in those moments that they had gotten to know eachother, much like you do when you're dating.

The difference was Assumpta didn't feel the nerves she would typically associate with a first date; she didn't feel stressed, tightness in her chest, or even the frequent call of nature. Instead all she felt was excitement.

She couldn't help but notice the contrast between her feelings about dating Peter and Leo. Both men had been her friends and both loved her dearly, but dating Leo had never caused the same sense of excitement that being near Peter gave her. Assumpta knew Father Mac believed it was the lure of the forbidden that had drawn her to the former curate, a sick sense of satisfaction that she would achieve by seducing a priest, but loving Peter had only caused her pain and had left her with a broken heart.

Although she could see why Father Mac (and his sort) would come to those conclusions, the relaity was very different. What had drawn her to Peter was his personality: his kindness, compassion, naivety and general all-round goodness. Her excitement was fuelled by knowing that Peter, wonderful Peter, wanted to be with her.

She was excited because after nearly five years of fighting their feelings, she was his and he was hers. Well, he was almost hers. There was the problem of his girlfriend.

' _Bloody Niamh',_ she muttered to herself as she ironed her dress for tonight, she held her friend responsible for putting a downer on her mood.

*

Peter was nervous. He knew he shouldn't be, but he was.

He felt like a lemon standing in the hotel foyer shifting his weight from side to side, flicking through a Visit London leaflet in a feeble attempt to suppress his nerves. He'd had girlfriends and been on successful dates before, but this date was different. This was a date with Assumpta Fitzgerald.

He didn't fully understand why he was so nervous; he was meeting Assumpta, he'd known her for years, he loved her, she loved him and everything felt so natural in her presence, but he had a nagging feeling in the back of his head. A feeling that was telling him everything was going to go wrong. A nagging feeling telling him that it was all too normal for them.

" _Peter_ ", a soft Irish voice came from behind him as he felt a light tug on his arm. Until that moment he never believed that it was possible to be so overwhelmed by someone's beauty that you could forget to breathe, but when Peter saw Assumpta she literally took his breath away.

He took a slow step back to allow himself to fully appreciate her. Her auburn curls rested on her shoulders and framing her face, the dark red cowl neck dress complemented her fair complexion and accentuated her figure, and her black high heeled shoes drew attention to the shape of her legs. She was perfect. In that moment the world stood still and he couldnt even recall his own name.

" _Peter, are you okay?_ ", she reached out for him, her face full of concern,

" _You're perfect"_ he mumbled his focus soley on her.

The way he was looking at her, his eyes full of love, made her weak at the knees. If he asked her to forget their date and go to her room Assumpta wouldn't refuse. After years of comunicating through facial expressions and glances the couple could read each other very well and knew what the other was thinking.

Peter considered closing the gap between them and kissing her in a way that was very inappropriate for such a public place, but he knew how that would end and no matter how much he wanted to take her in his arms he knew Assumpta had been looking forward to their 'first date'.

*

" _So, where are you taking me?_ " she asked as he escorted her down the street.

" _Dinner and a show. We're going to see Chicago_ ".

" _I've never seen that one",_ she wondered how much effort he had gone through to find thay out. _"How'd you know I've wanted to see that one_?"

" _I remembered you telling me you were dissapointed that you were never cast in the production at uni"_ ,

" _Doesn't mean that I hadn't seen it though",_

" _No, but I also remember you saying that you never went to the show out of spite and still haven't seen it"._

All Assumpta could do was stare at him in disbelief. He had remembered a small and seemingly insignificant coversation from years ago, one that she couldn't even recall having, and then based their first official date around it. It was almost unbelievable how thoughtful Peter was.

" _Well, after that I decided after that I wasnt suited for acting and only did the minimum number of performances in order to graduate. Childish eh?_ "

He gave a non-commital shrug, " _you're a good actor. Ryan's mother proved that_ ",

" _That wasn't acting Peter. At least not with you"_ , she gave him a knowing smile but didn't give him the opportunity to respond, " _anyway, I didn't get cast in Chicago because I can't sing and, believe it or not, thats kinda essential for a musical",_

" _Do you regret it?_ "

" _Not being cast? No, I would've made a right fool of myself; even if I was in the chorus. The one thing I do regret is being unrealistic about my goals, ya know? I wanted to perform here_ " she waved her hands to indicate she meant London, " _but I missed Ballykissangel. I'm a village girl. Dont fit in anywhere else. I just keep goin' back home"_. Her eyes met Peter's and she realised they'd not really spoken about their future living arrangements. " _But I'd leave Ballykea. I'd leave for you"_.

" _Assumpta, I don't want you to leave Ballykissangel. I left because I couldn't bear seeing you with Leo, not because I wanted to leave the village. I love Ballykea"._

*

The resturant was busy and service slow. Peter could see Assumpta getting persnickerty about the haphazardness and increasing delay of service.

" _Did you just kick me?_ " Assumpta asked with a slight scowl across her face. Peter was looking away from her clearly trying to hide his childish gin, shook his head.

Not entirely satisfield Assumpta returned her attention in the direction of the kitchen hoping that sheer will would bring out their food, but her focus was once again broken,

" _You did, you kicked me!_ "

 _"I did not!",_ he replied with fake indignatio _n, Why would I kick you?_ ",

" _How am I supposed to know? You're the one who did it_ ". She knew exactly why he had done it. She had missed their playful banter.

When their dinner was finally served the couple continued to chat about their experiences at univeristy. Peter explained how the skill sets he learnt from studying Theology didn't really transfer to social work.

" _Do you regret it_?" she asked mirroring his earlier question,

" _Not for a moment. If I hadn't studied Theology then it would've been more difficult for me to join the seminary_ ",

" _You don't regret that though? The seminary? The priesthood?",_

" _No_ " he said without a moments hesitation, " _If I hadn't joined the priesthood then I wouldn't have gone to Ballykissangel, and I wouldn't have met you. I don't regret that for a moment. What I do regret is not telling you how I felt that night in Killishee Woods, and not telling you in the pub's kitchen. I regret listening to Father Mac and going on retreat. I regret listening to my doubts"_. He looked at her with doeful eyes and let out a deep sigh, " _I'm sorry Assumpta"._

" _Don't do that Peter",_ her voice was harsh and her tone firm, " _don't take the blame for things beyond your control"._

Peter didn't understand. He owned his mistakes, saught guidence, repented, persued absolution, tried to face his demons. " _Then who is to blame?"_ ,

" _The church"_.

*

It had been clear that Assumpta's earlier comment about the church had been a bit of a mood killer. Peter had been reluctant to engage in much conversation after that and they had walked to the threatre in near silence. She had tried several times to reignite their previous banter, but Peter was clearly distracted by his own thoughts. She desperately need to explain what she had meant; it hadn't been religion keeping them apart, it was the church's archaec rules about members of the clergy marrying.

Peter knew that religion was always going to be a sticky issue with Assumpta. She had told him she wasnt an atheist, but she was far more than just a lapsed Catholic. He thought back to the various conversations they'd had over the years, some where she ridiculed the priesthood, others where she made off-handed comments about the church, but more worryingly when she had made it clear she didnt believe in transubstantiation. Would love be enough to transcend such a big difference in belief? What would happen in the future in terms of marriage and children?

It wasn't until the interval that they finally fell back into their normal banter, but the elephant in the room had still been released and Peter knew they'd need to discuss religion at some point. After the show they walked back to the hotel, hand-in-hand, while Assumpta explained the vaudaville acts each musical number was based on.

"I _can't stop being devout Assumpta"_ Peter finally interjected,

Slightly confused by the sudden change in topic, " _I've not asked you to",_

" _No - but is it going to be a problem, in the future?_ ", she looked at him for clarification, "I _mean, I want - need - to get married in a church, my children need attend church, they need to be baptised and recieve the sacrements"_

Assumpta knew all of that, "I'd _never expect anything less, but Peter I can't get married in a church, you know that. I'm a divorcee_. That is assuming you are talking about me of course". She smiled and nudged him with her shoulder. Peter relaxed at the normality of the gesture and felt his sense of melancholy beginning to lift.

" _Of course I am. And you can. You had a civil wedding so its not recognised by God. You can get married in a church as long as you have counselling before remarrying",_

She took a long deep breath. Great. Marriage counselling from a priest about marrying a former priest. That wouldn't be weird at all. She needed to change the subject. They were getting perilously close to a proposal, and she wasn't ready for that - not while he was still officially seeing his girlfriend.

" _Someone left me a book the other day_ ", it was her turn to change the subject. Peter knew she was avoiding the possible contentious issue.

" _Oh - thats nice"_

" _Not really. It was the Scarlett Letter_ ",

"I _dont know that one. Whats it about?_

They had arrived back at her hotel room by the time she had finished telling him about the book and her suspicions of who left it. They stood by her door as an all too familiar uncomfortable silence engulfed them. In their years of longing they'd had many 'almost' moments and awkward silences like this, but neither of them were unsure how to proceed. Their last encounter had primarily been the physical expression of years of self-denial, lust and love, but this eveing was different; this evening had been normal and they'd had so few normal situations together that neither of them knew how to act.

Peter took both her hands on his and rested his forehead against hers. " _I love you Assumpta"_ he whispered before placing a light kiss on her head, " _I'll see you tomorrow_ ". As he was turning away Assumpta tugged his wrist pulling him into a hug, " _dont leave"_ she whispered as she ran her other hand along his jawline before pulling him into a kiss.

*

Upon entering the room he sat nervously on the bed. Theyd' done this before, but tonight was different, tonight theyd been on a date and shared tells of regret and hope. They'd been truly honest with eachother fo the first time.

Peter knew his mind should've been on the woman in the bathroom, the woman who claimed she was making herself more desirable, he scoffed at the notion, she couldn't be more desirable regardless of how hard she tried. But instead he kept thinking about the book.

" _My money's on Father Mac_ " he called from the bedroom,

She appeared at the door wearing a simple black neglegee, " _why_?",

He looked her up and down. God, she was beautiful. He desperatly wanted to stride across the room and take her in his arms, " _well, looking at it strategically - as my sister would say - he is the only person who would have anything to gain. Its an odd motive - to annoy you - and probably me, but it is still a motive. It could also be down to church politics, Ballykissangel is kinda a revolving door for curates and that doesn't look good on him. He may have had a dressing down or been threatened with transfer. He may want to aviod news of our romance reaching the Bishop",_

" _But how would he have put it in my kitche_ n?,

 _"Not sure. You said your new barmaid, Arla, is the priest's sister"_

" _Orla",_ she corrected, _"So?_ "

" _Is she devout? Would she blindly follow Father Mac or her brother_?",

 _"To be honest Peter, I don't know her very well. And I've had very few dealings with Father O'Connell, but I can't see him getting involved in something like that. He isn't exactly wordly"_ , Peter gave her a puzzled look in response, " _he used to be a monk"._

"Ah, o _kay, well, he might not be involved, but watch his sister"._

Assumpta turned her back him and busied herself making tea. The English always wanted a cup of tea. ' _That's what Leo said_ ', she thought.

*

Charlotte had spent the week sitting by her father's bed pondering what to do about her situation, but the only conclusion she could come to was that she needed to talk to Peter. As it stood, she couldn't lie to him about the baby, but she had convinced herself that if she begged for his forgiveness then he still might chose her.

Judith had offered to accompany her to a BPAS clinic and swore blind they could both take it to their graves, that way Peter wouldn't need to know anything, but Charlotte couldn't bring herself to do that. Not only would she be making a momentous decision in the hope that it would save a shaky relationship, but if Peter ever found out he'd probably never set foot in a room with her again, let alone stay with her. Instead she decided that telling him the truth was the best option; if he loved her then he would forgive her. Afterall, his previous job had been all about forgiveness, and forgiveness was a corner stone of his beliefs .

When Charotte arrived home she was surprised to find the lights off and everything tidy. Last time she had left Peter on his own he'd invited Toby round and she come home to find pizza boxes and empty cans of larger decorating her livingroom. Peter was a tidy man, but Toby was a bad influence.

It was clear Peter hadn't been home today. She assumed he was staying at Anne's to help with the preparations for tomorrow. Rather than disturb him she decided she'd surprise him tomorrow at the party. They could talk when they got home.


	22. The Party: Part I

_**A/N** : thanks again for your comments and views. They make me happy._

 _Hopefully the heatwave is over._

*

Assumpta didn't usually remember her dreams, but as she lay next to Peter she couldn't help but wish her latest one was more of a premonition then a fantasy.

It was a clear spring day in her dream, the bells of St. Joseph's were ringing, she held a bouquet of daffidils and daisies, Niamh and Brendon were at her side and Peter was waiting for her at the alter. The ceremony had been perfect, the songs, the music, even Kathleen's awful organ music had been everything she could have ever wanted. For the entire duration she'd never tken her eyes off Peter, even when they started to sting from holding back tears of happiness. Their hands had been shaking as they exchanged rings, not out of fear, but due to the adrenaline surging through their veins.

When she awoke she couldn't help but smile, she'd stopped imaging partaking in her own nuptial mass when she stopped attending church, but being with Peter had changed that. Her dream had made her realise how much she wanted a church wedding with all the traditional Catholic trimmings because all those trimmings were quintessentially Peter. And Peter was who she wanted.

She looked over at her bedfellow's smiling face and wondered whether dreams could be shared. She couldn't help but think Peter looked really peaceful, almost angelic, with his legs intertwined with the hotel sheets. Her hand hovvered millimetres away from him, desperatly wanting to stroke his hair, his cheek, touch his lips, but she couldn't bring herself to disturb him. As she slowly climbed out of bed, making every feesable effort not to wake him, she heard him stir.

" _Hmmmm, mornin'_ ", he said with a broad smile. He couldn't help but grin. For nearly five years he'd imagined waking up next to Assumpta Fitzgerald and today he had for the first time. He hoped it was the first of many.

" _Morning sleepyhead. From your snoring I guess you slept well_ ", Assumpta three him a cheeky grin while making her way to the kettle on the vanity table. She was busy removing the teabags when she felt Peter place his arms around her waist and kiss her cheek.

 _"I never thought I'd be able to do this_ ", he whispered resting his head on her shoulder, a smile on his face and looking content.

Assumpta manouvered herself round so she was facing him and linked her hands together behind his neck, " _what's the plan for today then?_ " she asked.

Peter let out a sigh and stepped away. He had hoped to savour their time alone for a little bit longer, but as always, the rest of the world couldn't leave them be.

*

When the taxi pulled up outside the house Assumpta began to panic. Peter had given her a rundown of his family members on the train, but rather then put her mind at rest she now felt like she was willingly walking into a viper's nest.

Peter's eldest brother David was married to a woman named Hannah, who was often referred to as 'the awful woman' by the siblings. The couple had four children; three boys and a girl. David was a councillor on Manchester City Council and Hannah was a teacher. " _If you think I'm devout, wait until you meet my brother and Hannah. She's a real zealot; believes in literal Hell fire"._

Then there was his sister, Anne, who Assumpta had already spoken to. She was married to Toby and had two daughters. Anne was a stay-at-home mum, but had previously " _done something to d_ o _with_ _politics in London"_ and Toby was a window fitter. He warned her that Anne was very shrewd and quite blunt, but she has a good heart and it wad her family who had helped him through the lacisation process.

Peter's younger brother was called James. He was an accountant, which made Assumpta wonder if Peter's aptitude for numbers ran in the family. Peter explained that Hannah referred to his younger brother as " _a perpetual bachelor",_ but over the years James had indicated that this wasn't the case. " _Although we are the closest in age, James distenced himself from me as we grew-up, he didn't like me becoming a priest, and is always quite critical of me"_ Peter explained, " _Anne_ _knows more about his life then any of us, but she keep schtum, but I suspect he is in a relationship with his flat mate_ ".

' _Great; a viper's nest occupied by a politician, a zealot, a shrewed stay-at-home mum (possibly with under utilised intelligence), a distent and critical accountant, a window fitter and six kids'_ , she thought as she got into the taxi for the final part of their journey.

*

Assumpta quickly surveyed Anne's house's outer apperence. It was a period semi with off road parking and origional sash windows. But in comparision to the cottages in Ballykea it looked huge. There were several cars on the driveway that must've belonged to other family members, their makes and models causing Assumpta to bite her lip. Peter's family were rich. Feeling her unease Peter placed his hand on the small of her back to offer reassurence and gently guided her to the front door. ' _Even the front door looks posh'_ she thought to herself as she nervously chewed her lip and frigeted with her hands. Like the windows, it was clearly an origional feature, much like the tiling on the step. ' _They're really rich_ ' she repeated to herself as she quickly did another survey of her surroundings. The house was set back from the road. There was greenery. The houses on the opposite side if the road were larger and detached. Yep, they were rich. They were the urban middle class.

Assumpta nervously held her breath as the door opened, but instead of being greeted by an adult a smartly dressed teenager stood barring the threshold. The boy was clearly related to Peter, he was almost the same height, had the same hair colour and the same nose. He gave peter a curt nod " _Uncle Peter_ ", then turned to look to Assumpta " _she looks different. Almost like she's a completely different person_ " before turning leaving the door open to allow the guests to enter. He may have looked well-presented, but he was clearly lacking in manners.

" _Nice to see you to, Tommy_ " Peter called after the retreating figure,

" _Actually - its Thomas - as you well know"_ , the teenager replied without looking back, " _Aunty Anne is in the kitchen"_. They watched the figure enter the front room and heard the door close.

Peter ushered Assumpta into the hallway, quietly closing the door behind him. The hallway decor, mixture of family photos and artwork adorning the walls and the elaborate Victorian coving reinforced her assumption that Peter's family were wealthy, much wealthier than her. The Peter she had knew, and had grown to love, seemed perfectly content with a humble lifestyle, meaning she found it hard to imagine him being from anything other than humble beginnings. Seeing the size of his sister's house, his sibling's cars on the driveway and the various old photographs on the wall, made her feel very uncomfortable. She did not normally associate with the urban middle class, they were the type of people that got her goat with their holier than thou attitude and role in the capitalist machine. She knew not all of the middle class were like that, but in her experience they just didn't have things in common.

Peter tugged at her hand and lead her towards the kitchen. Much like the other parts of the house the kitchen looked expensive; more period features, an open fireplace, marble worktops and what looked like granite flooring. Assumpta bit her lip harder this time causing her to draw blood, instinctively Peter took her hand and squeezed. The minisquel act of comfort didn't do much, but it did slightly relieved her anxiety.

" _Need any help?_ ", Peter asked the clearly flustered woman whiping down the worktop,

" _Why bother? Noone else does_ ", Anne answered in a matter-of-fact tone making her way to the kettle on the far side of the room, " _tea? We've only got bags at the moment I'm afraid_ ",

" _You mean you don't have an endless supply of Oolong leaf?_ " he responded in a sarcastic, but obviously jokey, tone, " _In that case, bags will have to do. Tommy - sorry Thomas - is on good form today_ ",

" _Ha! Seems he's more like his mother each time I see him. You should've heard the awful woman lay into James earlier. I actually thought he might deck 'er one_ ",

Anne poured the water into two cups still not turning to face her guests seemingly unaware her brother was accompanied. Instead she made her way back to the range and removed a tray of cakes fron the oven. As she turned to place the cakes on the airing rack she saw the couple in the doorway.

There was a loud clanging of metal as the tray and the cakes hit the floor. Instinctively Peter released Assumpta's hand and lurched forward in futile attempt to save the cakes and help his sister, but he was too slow. Within the seconds it had taken for the whole incident to occur Anne had already touched the scolding hot tray and burnt her hand. Leaving the cakes on the floor she quickly made her way to the sink and placed the injured fingers under a stream of cold water. Peter grabbed a tea towel and walked to his sister's side,

" _Have you lost your bloody mind?_ " she said through gritted teeth as he handed her the towel. Her voice was low and not much louder then a whisper, but her tone made it clear that she wasn't asking a rehtorical question.

Peter glanced behind him to see Assumpta picking up the ruined fairy cakes from the floor. After watching her for a few moments he took a deep breath and sighed,

" _Yes I have"_ , turning back to his sister, " _I did about five years ago_ ".


	23. The Party: Part II

_**A/N** : there's a lot of dialogue here._

 _Plus, the heatwave does seem to be well and truly over, so here's hoping that both my toddler and I can get some sleep again._

 _Also, when I originally uploaded this there were parts of my planning at the end, which I swear I deleted because I'd edited it. Anyway, I've now reuploaded the chapter having removed the bits of my plan_.

*

Peter stood staring at his sister completely uncertain of how the scene was going to play out. Of all his siblings Anne knew the most about the nature of his relationship (and history) with Assumpta and was the most likely to be sympathetic; she'd been more than understanding the afternoon she'd found him sitting on her doorstep, but she also knew that Peter and Charlotte were still a couple, and she could possibly take the moral high ground. He watched her carefully fold the tea towel in half and place it over the oven's handle before walking over to face Assumpta. Peter held his breath. If she was rude they'd leave.

" _Anne Carpenter_ ", she smiled as she held out her hand for Assumpta to shake, " _it's a pleasure to finally meet you_ ". Peter was slightly annoyed by his sister's formaility. She knew how he felt about this woman, knew their history and the best she could do was offer stereotypical British pleasantries.

" _First and foremost I'd like to welcome you to my home and apologise for my previous behaviour over the phone. Such things are inexcusable. Secondly, I would like tp apologise for my family's lack of appearence; my husband, Toby, is playing some kind of football game with the elder children, my brother James has taken the younger ones to soft play, and my older brother David and his wife are having a kip on my bed because apparently airbeds aren't suitable enough for a good night's sleep"_

" _They could've stayed in a hotel"_ , Assumpta scoffed, immediately regretting the words as soon as they left her mouth. She had just criticised Peter's family and she was a guest in this house.

" _Exactly_ ", Anne said with far too much enthusiasm and nodded in agreement before turning to her brother and smiling " _I like her_ ".

The pleasantries continued for several minutes while Anne made the tea and coffee. Assumpta spoke about the pub, Fionn and told a few anecdotes about Peter's time in Ballykea. Anne seemed to be particularly amused by the story of the mountain bike.

" _You seriously thought you'd be able to cycle up mountains? Are you actually stupid Peter? Mountains?_ " Anne asked in disbelief.

Before he had a chance to respond Toby appered in the doorway,

" _Anne, Thomas said Peter is here with some wom_ -", he stopped midsentence as soon as he clocked the three adults sitting at the table. Instinctively the man took a step back considering retreating and returning to the virtual football match that was continuing in his livingroom, but his wife's glare glued him to the spot. After a few moments the man in the doorway finally spoke,

" _Hi, I'm_ _Toby_ ", unsure of what to say next he continued, " _this_ _is my house_ ",

" _She knows that_ ", Peter said dryly rollimg his eyes, " _this is Assumpta"_.

Toby shot is wife a worried glance, knowing that today's inevitable family disagreement/argument just got a hundred times more interesting but also a hundred times worse.

" _Ah. The famous Assumpta. Did ya know while he was living 'ere you were all he ever talked about? Well not quite, but you were the primary topic of conversation. And he lived here for months. Months"_. Toby's disclosure earnt another scolding look from his wife and caused Peter to shift uncomfortably.

" _I'm glad_ ", Assumpta said with a smile, " _He has been at the forefront of my mind since he left Ballykea_ ".

*

Anne and Toby had began setting things up for the party and had refused Peter and Assumpta's persistent offers to help. Instead the couple had been sent outside to prepare themselves for the inevitable barrage of questions and possible dissaproving looks.

" _Two down, three to go_ " she said quietly as thy sat together on the garden swing, "t _he two easiest I assume",_

"' _fraid so. Anne will brief the others before they come outside so.hopefully they will be on their best behaviour. James will be okay, but it's Dave and Hannah that might be a bit standoffish or outwardly critical",_

" _Because I lured you away from the priesthood but married someone else?_ ",

" _No. Because I have a live-in girlfriend_ ". He knew he shouldn't have said it, but it was the elephant in the room, for years the elephant had been their feelings for eachother, now it was Peter's girlfriend. They'd spent years trying to aviod the last elephant, so maybe addressing this one head one would be best, but seeing the look on her face made him regret it almost immediately. " _I'm sorry. I shouldn't have mentioned it",_

" _Don't be. I'm still a married woman_ ", she needed to change the subject, well not needed, wanted to, " _so, your family's rich_ ". It sounded like a question but was more of a statement.

" _Hmmm, kind of"_ ,

" _This house, those cars, the way that Thomas kid was dressed. Your family's rich"_

" _Does that make you uncomfortable?_ ", he took her hand and laced their fingers together,

" _A little. Don't know if you've noticed, but the middle class doesn't exactly feature too prominently in Ballykissangel"_

 _"Yeah, but you went to uni. You would've met loadsa different people there. Are you telling me you'd have avioded me because I was well dressed?"_

She looked at him dismissively, " _I highly doubt you've ever been well dressed. Look at you; you wear lumberjack shirts, awful jumpers and jeans. Or is that some kind of English designer chic I know nothing about? I would've avioded you because you were studying Theology. Okay, maybe not completely avioded you. I may have teased you because I find you attractive, but I certainly doubt we'd have ended up coupling",_

 _"Because of Leo?"_

 _"No, cos you dress badly, studied Theology and are clearly from the privileged middle class. We'd nothin' in common",_

 _"And now? What's different?",_ he was concerned she was drawn to him because of his collar, the lure of the forbidden. He'd never considered that until now.

" _Now? I've grown-up and those things aren't important anymore. I find every aspect of your personality, including your God awful dress sense, attractive",_

 _"And do we have things in common?",_ Peter asked nervously,

 _"I think so, don't you?",_ she didn't wait for an answer. This conversation was heading in a direction that made her feel nervous and very uncomfortable. _"We both care about our friends, like to read, adore animals, and enjoy playing cards. I may not be practising, and find all the pomp and ceremony a bit OTT, but I do believe in God",_

 _"I know you do"_.

Peter's reply seemed half-hearted, causing the serpent of doubt to raise his head and make her question whether they were doing the right thing. Afterall, she was still married and he had a girlfriend. " _There's still time to stop"_ , Assumpta said meekly,

" _Stop? Stop what?"_ , he asked as he furrowed his brow.

" _This. Us. There's still time for us to stop. To go our seperate ways. Pretend all of this never happened"_

" _Why would I want that? I ran away from you once and I don't intend to do it again. That is, unless that's what you want?_ "

 _"No. I just worry I'm not good enough for you_ ", her voice sounding crestfallen, " _are_ _you rich? I mean, personally._ "

 _"You are good enough for me Assumpta, I have no idea why you'd think otherwise. And no, I'm not personally rich._ _Vow of poverty, remember? Ten years of being able to pack all of my possessions into one back pack kinda takes a long time to financially recover from_ ". She didn't look convinced so he continued, " _we weren't poor growing up, but we weren't rich either; we lived comfortably. What you see here_ ", he waved his free hand towards the house, " _is the accumulation of years of hard work - Anne and Toby have nowhere near as much money as they once had because she doesn't work. I don't know much about James' situation but the new Audi in the driveway is his, so he can't be that short of cash. And somehow David always seems quite flush. I'm the poor one_ " he finished with a chuckle.

She brought his hand to her lips and placed a light kiss on his knuckles, " _I'm just worried that I won't fit in with your family_ ",

" _Don't be daft! I don't fit in with my family_ ", he laughed.

*

Peter and Assumpta's time alone was abruptly interrupted by three young children running towards them shouting " _Uncle Peter_ " in almost perfect unison. Peter quickly made his way to the three children and was knocked over by them all jumping on him at once. Assumpta couldn't help but smile at the scene: Peter laying on the grass with three children clambering on top of him.

After a long period of laughs and giggles the smallest girl pointed towards Assumpta,

" _Mummy says we're not allowed to ask questions 'bout the pretty lady. So I'm not going to_ "

" _That's very kind of you Bea. Did your mummy say the lady was pretty, or did you chose that word?_ ", Peter asked his youngest niece.

The little girl scrunched her eyes and lips to how she was thinking hard. _"I don't 'member_ " she sad looking sadly at the grass, " _sorry_ ",

" _Mummy said it, didn't she Simon?_ ", Abby chirped,

" _Yes, Aunty Anne said she was pretty and we weren't to ask questions about her, or to talk about Charlotte_ " the boy said proudly, " _and I remembered everything"_.

" _Do you want to meet her?_ ". His question was greeted by three very enthusiastic nods, " _okay, come on then!_ "

*

Meanwhile the rest of the adults were in the kitchen watching the youngest of the brood interact with Peter and Assumpta.

Anne had managed to corner her siblings before they went outside and discovered the latest development in the former priest's love life for themselves. Her aim had been to diminish their surprise and therefore aviod any knee-jerk reactions or comments that couldn't be taken back. But judging by David and Hannah's reactions she probably had only delayed the inevitable, rather than prevented it.

" _I can see why she caused him to stop being good ole Pious Pete_ ", James had remarked while looking at the couple in the garden, " _she's gorgeous_ ",

" _Isn't that what He does? Send beautiful women to tempt men?_ ", Hannah responded with indignation and her arms tightly folded across her chest. " _Not that Peter needed much tempting_ ",

" _Now, that's unfair Hannah_ ", Toby chipped in,

" _You weren't there Toby. He was practicality all over that Jenny girl, they spent so much time together it was disconcerting. You should've heard the whispers. If it wasn't for Mum and Dad's standing in the church I'm sure the gossips would've been in full swing_ ", David stated in a matter-of-fact tone.

" _Does it really matter now?_ ", Anne asked but didn't allow enough time for anyone to respond, " _I've spoken to Abby, Simon, and Bea. I've told them not to ask any questions about her and not to mention Charlotte. Toby will do the same for the others_ ",

" _Who died and made you boss?_ ",

" _No one James, but this is my house. If you dont like it then you can leave_ ". She looked scornfully st the others in the room, " _you can all leave"._

Toby could see things were starting to escalte quickly and desperately wanted to aviod a repeat of last year's gathering, which resulted in Anne sitting in the bathroom crying. Last year's bust-up was caused by David and Hannah accusing Anne of facilitating the work of the Devil by supporting Peter with his lacisation. Of course, David and Hannah never had the nerve to say such things to Peter because they thought he was being led astray, whereas Anne had willingly turned her back on the church by not attending mass or having her children baptised.

" _Look, lets take a step back for a moment. Peter's love life is his own buisness. Assumpta isn't just some woman he picked up off the street, she is the woman he has been in love with for years. You guys know I don't believe the same stuff as you, but I know Peter, and I know that he wouldn't have given up his vocation without serious consideration. Think about it - he couldn't have this woman, but knowing how he felt he knew he couldn't be a priest. That woman must mean the world to him"._ Toby saw a smile of approval appear on Anne's face before mouthing 'I love you' to him, James nod slowly and Hannah shrug.

" _Fine_ ", mumbled David, " _but I still think she's a temptress that could lead him down the path to Hell"._

Toby left the other adults standing in the kitchen while he went to speak to the teenagers playing computer games in his livingroom. To aviod more awkward conversation, and to prevent further conflict, Anne started rummaging through the junk draw looking for AAA batteries for the portable radio. The awkward silence was finally broken when Toby returned with the older children, all of whom looked annoyed that they'd been told what to do, and thay their virtual gaming had been stopped so they could associate with the adults. After a few cursory smiles everyone began to file out into the garden.

Anne quickly inserted the batteries into the radio and checked it was working. Just as she was about to join the rest of the family in the garden the doorbell rang.


	24. The Party: Part III

Over the last week Charlotte had become used to waking up alone. At first it had felt strange having a double bed all to herself, like she was a child sleeping in her parent's room, but as the week went on she had found sole dominence of the duvet led to a more satisfying nights sleep. Saying that, she may have enjoyed not having to share the duvey, and may have been used to waking up alone, but overall she didn't like it. She missed Peter.

Charlotte rolled over and placed her hand on Peter's pillow, inhaling deeply trying to capture his scent, but all she could smell was fabric conditioner. The ever diligent Peter had changed the bed before going to his sister's.

A month or so ago everything had seemed so perfect, but then she made a stupid mistake and her world came tumbling down around her. Worst of all, she had accused Peter of cheating when she was the cheater, in fact, she probably accused him because of her own guilty conscience. She felt a tear trickle down her cheek as she rested one hand on her stomach, unsure if she'd ever wake-up next to Peter again.

When she had left Dorset Charlotte had been determined to tell Peter the truth and beg for his forgiveness, but waking up in their home, their bed, had made her doubt how wise the decision was. It was true that Peter's beliefs emphasised forgiveness but she was not only asking for that, she was also asking him to raise another man's child, and she wasn't sure that was something he'd be willing to do.

Her other options were deceitful and made her feel even mode uncomfortable. As Judith had pointed out, she could always omit the details of her one-night-stand and claim the baby was his, and she knew Peter would never leave her then, but then she'd always wonder if he loved her or had stayed for the baby. She also knew that she could mention BPAS and abortion, saying she'd do it to save their relationship, knowing full well Peter would never let her go through with that, and would most likely stay with her for the unborn baby. But again, the question of whether he truly loved her would always hang over them. She had already decided that an abortion was not an option, regardless of what Peter would say, so that would be yet another lie.

She knew the right option: tell him the truth, but she was terrified of losing him. She wondered if the money from the lottery and her declaration that she wanted to get house with him would be enough to make him stay.

*

Charlotte stood on Anne's doorstep feeling a mixture of excitement and dread. She had missed Peter and was excited to see him, but she felt nauseous at the thought of having to pretend everything was okay. She had decided to tell him about the baby at home, that way whatever needed to be said, and whatever needed to be done would happen away from the prying eyes and hyper-alert ears of his family. But that didn't change the nervous feeling in the pit of her stomach growing in intensity.

Would he be happy to see her? She'd avioded him for almost week; screened his calls while trying to figure out what she should do. She bit her lip and decided he would be happy to see her, he would've missed her, nothing would've changed for him in her absence.

She took a deep breath and rang the doorbell.


	25. Did You Know?

Siobhan and Niamh stood by the bed amazed by the serenity of their two children sleeping. Both women couldn't understand how the two toddlers had managed to instantly fall asleep in one of the guest rooms at Fitzgerald's, but at home both would scream blue murder to stay up past their bedtimes.

" _When she wakes up all Hell is going to break loose_ ", Siobhan said as she closed the door, ensuring she pulled the handle down to quieten the click. Niether woman had expected to be able to stay much past 8pm, with Ambrose on duty and Brendon watching the bar, but with both children asleep they relished the thought of having some 'adult time'.

" _Same with Ciaran, so lets enjoy it while we can_ ", replied Niamh as she turned the baby monitor on and headed towards the stairs.

*

As the hours passed all three adults were surprised that niether child stirred; Brendon had even ventured into the room to make sure the baby monitor was on and that niether child had succumb to deadly, and unknown, accident or illness. Upon finding that all was well he silently cursed whatever prevented his daughter from sleeping so soundly at home, before reluctantly returning to the rowdy sound of tourists at the bar wishing that Orla was working tonight instead of him.

*

Niamh had througherly enjoyed sitting in a booth chatting to Siobhan. The vet wasn't her usual choice for company, but it turned out they had more in common than either realised; they both had a fondness for chocolate (something very few people knew about Siobhan) and their love of horses. Everyone knew that as a vet Siobhan cared deeply for animals and some of the older village residents could remember her riding skills, in particular her aptitude at dressage, but Niamh had been surprised to learn they both had enjoyed success at various equestarian events. They spent almost two hours recounting various shows and competitions they had attended in their youth, both finally agreeing that it was a shame niether of them continued to ride. In a moment of craziness, which she later blamed on pregnancy related hormones, Niamh had suggested that once her newest child is born the two women should go riding together, something which Siobhan readily agreed to against her better judgement.

As the night wore on and the two women continued to chat, Niamh began to wonder if Siobhan knew who Assumpta was visiting, and whether she would be betraying her friends trust by bringing up the former curates name in casual conversation.

 _"I think it's such a shame_ ", she sighed looking down at her diet coke,

" _What is?_ ", the vet enquired,

" _Oh, just that niether of my children will have been Christened by the same priest that married Ambrose and I. I'd alwys hoped the same one would do my marriage, my children's Christenings and their weddings_ ".

Siobhan's eyes narrowed at the seemingly random nature of her companion's statement. Niamh may not share the same level of qualification as her, but she was a Quigley through-and-through and certainly was able to play clever fishing games, " _can't be helped"_ , she shrugged.

" _No, but I miss Father Clifford. Father Aiden is nice and all, but he just isn't half as eloquent or friendly_ ",

" _He seems perfectly friendly to me_ ", the vet knew the subtext of the conversation but she wasnt going to be the one to bring it to the surface, " _he is just a bit odd. Thats all. I'd imagine being a monk will do that to ya",_

 _"I mean, he doesn't spend anytime at the pub with his parishioners, does he? Father Peter would spend hours here". W_ hen Siobhan didn't reply, Niamh decided to try and guide the conversation where she wanted it, " _then again, maybe he had a different reason to hang around here"._

At that point the two women's eyes met showing that Siobhan knew exactly what her companion was implying. " _Aye, maybe. But I'd imagine that you and Brendon would know more about that then me_ ". After a brief silence their conversation returned to reminicing about their childhood sucesses in equestarian sports.

*

Once the pub was empty Brendon and Siobhan began to tidy carefully carrying glasses from the bar to the kitchen. Niamh had initially tried to help but her size hindered not only her speed but also her general usefulness.

" _Do you think it'd be alright if I kip here?_ ", she asked no-one inparticular, "I _just cant face waking Ciaran",_

 _"I doubt her ladyship would care. But we wont tell if you dont_ ", the headteacher-come-barman replied.

Niamh nodded and slowly began to make her way to the stairs considering if she could bring up Peter Clifford again without seeming too obvious. Without turning round she said quietly, " _did_ _you know? Did she tell you?_ ". The question was ambiguous enough that Siobhan may have been able to piece it together with their earlier conversation, but Brendon would only know if he knew what she did.

" _The whole village knew, or at least suspected, but no, she didnt tell me_ ", Brendon replied nonchalantly,

There was an awkward silence as Niamh made her way to the kitchen table and placed her head in her hands. " _I didn't know. I thought she had a bit of a 'thing' for him, the whole lure of the unattainble, but he seemed so innocent that I didnt think it was, or even could be, recipricated"_ , she paused for a moment thinking how she could express her feelings without sounding too naracastic, " _I f_ _eel like such a fool. If I had been there for her then maybe this whole mess wouldn't have happened_ ",

" _This is hardly your fault Niamh_ ", Siobhan interjected, _"how could you have stopped her falling for the priest?"_ ,

" _Oh, I don't know!_ " she exclaimed as she threw her hands up in exasperation, " _but I wouldn't have pushed her towards Leo so vigerously",_

Brendon and Siobhan exchanged glances. They both knew that she would've done the complete opposite.

*

The three friends sat in the kitchen talking about the various exchanges and signs they had missed that indicated Peter an Assumpta's friendship was deeper than appeared. As the night went on it became glaringly obvious that Brendon had suspicions long before anyone else and had called Assumpta out on her actions a few times (like when she instigated the petition to have the priest stay in the village). Niamh came to realise she had noticed signs too, but didn't want to believe what had been unfolding in front of her; afterall, ignorence is bliss.

" _Did she tell you about the book"_ , Niamh asked in an attempt to divert the conversation from her own denial to something with more substance.

" _She did_ ", the teacher acknowledged, " _who'd you think left it?_ "

That was a good question, and one Siobhan was determined to find the answer to. As a more then competent gambler she had learnt how to read people, assess situtions and identify variables, to work out the odds of each outcome.

The first, and most obvious, suspect was Leo. Assumpta had treated him appallingly, married him while she loved another, and had broken his heart. He had even been in Ballykea for a few days and had spent time in the pub. His motive? To upset Assumpta, make her feel uncomfortable, and maybe even warn her about the consequences of her actions (after all he had loved her dearly). The problem? He wasn't in Ballykea long, Assumpta had said he wanted an easy divorce, and Niamh had pointed out he wasn't the passive aggressive type.

The second suspect was Father Mac. Assumpta disliked him and he disliked her. He also disliked Father Clifford and regularly chastised him. He must've known about Peter's feelings for Assumpta. Siobhan assumed that Father Clifford would've confessed his feelings to the parish priest, which is probably why he went on retreat, but the secrecy of confession is sacrosanct. The problem? Father Mac would do anything to protect the church from scandal, and trying to intimidate amd/or rile Assumpta Fitzgerald wpuld likely do the opposite. The publician was well known fo her fiery temper and outbursts of emotion. Furthermore, he'd recently been barred and he didn't have access to the kitchen, meaning he would've needed someone to plant the book for him. Through a process of elinimtaion there was only one person who could've done that: Orla.

Orla. She had regular access to the kitchen and her brother was the priest, meaning she'd have fairly regular dealings with Father Mac and may know about Assumpta's feelings for Peter. The problem? She couldn't see a motive beyond helping Father Mac rile the landlady. But, she was the only one with unmitigated access to the pub's kitchen and therefore the only viable suspect.

" _My money's on Orla"_ , she announced, " _I'm not sure of her motive, but she is the only one who's had the opportunity to leave the book laying around_ ".


	26. The Party: Party IV

**A _/N_** : _This is a short one, and I'm starting to wrap things up. I have this story all mapped out to the end, but while writing it I have found so many different opportunities to take it.down a different path (possibly one a bit more suited to the situation) and, boy, have I been tempted._

 _Also, I've got quite a bit of work I need to crack on with next week, so my aim is to try and tie this all up before then. If I fail, then I apologise in advance because it will effect the length of time between updates._

*

The events that unfolded in the Carpenter's back garden were better suited to a daytime television soap oerpa than the lives of the suburban middle class. Anne had done her best to delay the unavoidable fallout from Charlotte's impromptu arrival by putting her skills as a former political strategist to good use, but her efforts were ultimately in vain.

A fly on the wall would've found the woman's efforts both commendable and ammusing. Her first delaying tactic was to allow the front door to lock behind her by 'forgetting' to remove her keys and allowing it to click close. Her second tactic had been to say " _Charlotte_ " several times loud enough for the rest of her brood to hear, hoping that Peter would at least have time to concoct a plan. Her third tactic had been to pretend the side gate was locked and she needed her husband to find the key. That wasn't completely out of the realms of possibility, as there were small children in the garden, but if Charlotte had tried to open the gate herself she would've caught her in the lie.

During the comotion Peter had become aware of his sibling's attempts to enable him to divert disaster, but he knew that the best solution was to face the perilous situation head on. After giving Assumpta a quick peck on the cheek and promising her he would " _sort it"_ he had made his way across the garden to face the music.

" _It's fine Toby_ ", Peter said as he moved past his brother-in-law and opened the gate. As soon as the gate opened Charlotte threw her arms around Peter's neck, _"I missed you_ " she said before kissing him passionately on the lips. Peter immediately pushed her away and took several steps back making sure there was both physical and emotional distence between them.

Charlotte began to panic. She knew there was a possibility that her distence and avoidance may have driven him further away, but normally he would've put on a show for his family. Apparences mattered, and she needed to make sure they thought his physical distence between them was nothing more then his discomfort with public displays of affection. With a large smile Charlotte playfully batted Peter on the arm and with fake enthusasim greeted the three Clifford's standing at the garden's periphery.

At first she thought the auburn haired woman standing away from the others must've accompanied James, which she found surprising as she'd assumed the youngest Clifford wasn't interested in women, but when she saw the sideways glances, nervous facial expressions, and the fact this woman was trying to look anywhere but at her, she realised that this woman was with Peter.

Charlotte felt a light tug on her arm and heard Peter almost whisper " _we need to talk"_.

At that point the rational part of her brain shut down. She was going to lose him. She had thought she could accept that, tell him the truth and face the possible consequences, but at that moment she knew that wasn't true.

" _I'm pregnant_ ". She said it out of sheer panic and despertaion, hoping that the revelation would stop the situation spiralling out of her control.

*

As soon as Charlotte had spoken a deathly silence engulfed the adults, none knowing what to say or do. A couple of the older children had ceased plying football and were looking towards their elders, clearly intrigued by whatever was going on. Anne managed to catch Thomas' eye and slowly shook her head mouthing " _no_ " and " _not now_ " to indicate they should remain as far away from what was happening as possible. In response he pointed towards Assumpta then Charlotte, pulled a face to indicate confusion and returned to his game.

Upon seeing Anne's exchange James walked over to Assumpta. He wasn't sure whether he should be undertking damage control to preserve Peter and Charlotte's relationship, or offer comfort to perserve Peter's relationship with her. He decided the best option was to try and take the middle ground. He placed a comforting arm around the Irish woman's waist, gently guiding her to turn her back on the unfolding events.

Initially Assumpta was greatful for the physical support the youngest Clifford brother offered, primarily because her legs felt like jelly and she was concerned they might give way. It was taking all her physical and emotional strength not to break down; her eyes were stinging and there was a burning sensation in the back of her throat as she fought back the barrage of tears she knew were inevitable

' _This is it_ ', she thought to herself, _"this. Is. It_ ". They were the same words Peter had said to her in Fitzgerald's kitchen. The three words that made her feel like she'd been stabbed in the heart. The three words that had caused her insurmountable pain. The three words she should've listened to, because if she had, she would've avoided this fresh heartbreak.


	27. Back in Ballykea

The journey back to Ireland had been a blur. Assumpta had left the Carpenter's home as soon as James had removed his hand from her waist and let her know Peter and Charlotte had gone inside the house.

With a strong feeling of determination she had marched past Peter's family, ignoring some protests, and began her journey back to Ballykea. She was not going to let these people see her cry.

*

When Assumpta arrived home it was gone midnight and the darkness of the village matched her mood. She considered calling on Niamh, but knew it would be unfair to drag her heavily pregnant friend into her melodrama at such an unholy hour. Instead she decided to confide in a bottle of whisky from behind the bar. Considering the pub was barely breaking even she knew she shouldn't drink the stock, but what's a few pounds in the face of a broken heart?

Assumpta was awoken by the sound of clattering coming from the kitchen. She rubbed her eyes and waited for them to adjust to the morning light before sliding herself off the barstool. She stretched out her neck and back, knowing that sleeping slumped over the bar will have left her with back pain for at least two days, before moving to the kitchen.

When Niamh saw Assumpta enter the room she immediately fetched her a pint of cold water and some painkillers. She didn't know how much whisky her friend had drank last night, but she knew from Assumpta's complexion it was more than a couple of measures.

" _Here, looks like you need this_ ", Niamh said as she handed her friend the glass and painkillers, " _what on Earth happened to make you drink so much that you fell asleep in the bar?"_.

Assumpt didn't answer. Instead she sat down and cried.

*

As the week went on Assumpta's mood swings became more and more erratic. She would flit between morose, angry and tearful at the drop of a hat, only occasionally showing a random tourist a smile because she knew a perpetually moody publican was bad for business.

Paidrig had made the conscience decaision to keep his head down to ensure he was not in Assumpta's firing line. He would sit in his usual spot, order his usual drink and talk casually with his friends, but whenever someone commented on Assumpta's mood he would keep schtum. He had been on the recieving end of her wrath far too many times, and right now he wanted a ringside seat to whatever was unfolding.

Paidrig was aware something major was amiss, and that his friends knew more than they were letting on. The problem was he couldn't ask Brendon, he was far too asute to dilvulge any information, Siobhan would be tight lipped as always, and he didn't know Niamh well enough to use her to start orying into her friend's buisness. That left Orla. He'd managed to get snippets of information out of her before, so he decided he might as well try again.

" _Orla, another pint of the regular please_ ",

" _Sure thing Paidrig"_ the young woman smiled as she put his pint down,

" _Haven't seen you about much. Reduced your hours?_ ". He knew she hadn't. Siobhan had made an off handed somement about Orla being " _a bit dodgy"_ while Assumpta was away, so Paidrig assumed he hadn't seen her around the pub because she wasn't fully trusted.

Orla quickly glanced around to check no-one else was watching or listening, leaned forward and lowered her voice, " _No. I've had my hours cut, and after all the favours I've done her"_. But before Paidrig had an opportunity to enquire further she was called away by three American tourists.

Paidrig was on his third pint before he had the opportunity to speak with the barmaid again. This time she was more flustered and didn't seem concerned that someone else might hear what she had to say.

" _So, what favours did you do her Ladyship?_ ",

" _Looked after the pub so she could go off to England to see her fancy man. Shame really when her husband was so good looking and had good prospects_ ",

" _Her fancy man? In England - she doesn't know anyone in England - apart from her ex Leo",_

" _She does. I've tried to help her, when I thought it was her husband, but it doesn't matter now as it all seems to have gone to the dogs anyway. I guess she needn't worry about the consequences anymore_ "

Paidrig knew he was missing some pieces of the puzzle and he realised he's have to speak to Brendon.

*

As Assumpta's oldest friend, and quite often her teenage partner in crime, Niamh knew that during her younger years Assumpta had become asute at sneeking alcohol out of the bar without anyone noticing. She also knew that if she hadn't been at her side when her father passed away her friend probably would've drunk herself into oblivion. It was due to this knowledge Niamh had devised a rota where one of Assumpta's friends would stay after closing and help her tidy up. Of course, Assumpta knew her friends were babysitting her, but she was greatful for the company, and of course, for the free labour.

Assumpta have been back almost a week before it was Brendon's turn to babysit her. She worked in silence, ensuring to aviod eye contact with her former teacher, hoping that he wouldn't pass judgment on her most recent behaviour.

The headteacher was never one for small talk, but the heavy atmosphere laced with sadness and regret was becoming too much for him. He knew what had transpired between the publican and the former priest while she was last in England, curtesy of Niamh, but he couldn't squash the nagging feeling that was telling him there was more to the story.

Assumpta had never responded well to questioning, so he had decided to wait for his former pupil to volunteer information. As the tedious cleaning and oppressive silence continued brendon noticed his friend looking over at him then averting her gaze; he knew she wanted to talk.

" _We think we know who left ya that book"_ , Brendon said, hoping that by engaging Assumpta in this kind of conversation may lead to something more meaningful.

Assumpta immediately stopped dead, put down the glass she'd been drying and turned to face him, " _who? And why?",_

" _We haven't worked out the why, but Siobhan used her skills to narrow down the suspect"_. He could tell Assumpta was becoming impatient and agitated, " _we think it's Orla"_.

Assumpta laughed, " _why would she care? She has never even met Peter_ ",

Brendon shrugged, " _We dunno, but she's the only one with the MMO, well the MO; means and opportunity, we cant figure out the motive_ ".

Brendon could tell Assumpta was not convinced; her arms were folded across her chest, eyebrows raised and she had rolled her eyes on more than once.

*

On Monday morning Paidrig had got up early to wait outside the National School for Brendon. Since having Aisling his friend's visits to the pub had become sporadic and he was never certain when he'd see him next, but he knew he'd be at the school on Monday morning.

Brendon was surprised to see his friend sitting on the fence as he pushed his bike up the path. He couldnt remember the last time Paidrig had visited the school, he didn't even attend Kevin's parent-teacher evenings, so finding him waiting at the gate was real shock.

" _What can I do for ya Paidrig?_ ",

The mechanic had planned on being direct, but lost his nerve as soon as Brendon had spoken to him. " _I was wonderin' what's been goin' on with Assumpta. She's been more moody then normal_ ",

Brendon looked at his friend slightly skepitically. Paidrig wasn't one to play games or use double meanings, " _Why don't you ask her?",_

" _I don't have a death wish, and I don't want ta be barred"_ , the varacity of the statement caused his friend to laugh, " _it's just, as ya know, I've been investigating Father Mac and his consirpacy to become Bishop"_.

Brendon nodded slowly, " _not this again Paidrig. Father Mac is not conspiring to bring down the Bishop_ "

" _Maybe, maybe not. I haven't found out much about that, but Orla has let some things slip about Assumpta having an English fancy man_ ", Brendon kept his poker face, " _she said she'd tried to help her"._

That sparked the school teacher's interest, " _help her with what?_ "

" _I'm not goin' to tell ya that, until you tell me what's goin' on_ ", when Brendon didn't reply Paidrig continued before starting to walk away, " _okay, I'll keep my information to myself. You know where I am if you need me_ ".


	28. The Confrontation

_**A/N** : I feel a bit guilty about how long this has taken to upload and I'm sorry it's subpar. I start a new job soon and have got quite a lot of prep work to do. I'm having a major flare-up of carpal tunnel syndrome atm due to the amount of typing I'm having to do in preparation for my new job. :(_ _There are 2-3 chapters left, including am epilogue. I will upload the concluding chapter(s) and epilogue at the same time so not to spoil the ending ._

*

Brendon had spent most of the morning in his office reflecting on staff appraisals. He hated having to pass judgment on his colleagues skills as educators, but it was an important part of his job as headteacher, and if he didn't complete them promptly and efficiently then he would have to answer to the school board. School board meetings were another thing he hated. He found them tiresome. They were primarily used as a way for some members, notibly Brian Quigley, to try and elevate their status and standing within the community.

He was secretly pleased when one of the pupils was marched to his office for throwing slugs at other children. Not only did the girl's pleas for lienance break the monotony of his paper work, listening to her story reminded him of hos own childhood causing a slight smile to dance across his face.

It wasnt until lunchtime that he thought about his earlier conversation with Paidrig. On any other day he probably would've sat in his office for a few hours deducing what his friend had meant, analysing Orla's past interactions, and considering how to move things forward. But today, paperwork had dominanted his every thought and now he needed a drink.

When the headteacher arrived at Fitzgerald's he was surprised to see the landlady behind the bar. Since his promotion he no longer made a habit of popping into the pub for a quick half at lunchtime, as it would be deemed as unprofessional, but when he did Orla wslas always behind the bar.

"Afternoon 'Sumpta. Laid off the help 'ave we?", he said in a jovial tone, but the look on Assumpta's face told him that she was not in the mood to engage in their normal sporadic banter.

" _Bog off Brendon. Shouldn't you be at work?_ ",

" _We're allowed a lunch brea_ k",

" _And what would the school board say if they saw the headteacher having a liquid lunch?_ ", as she poured his usual and placed it on the bar in front of him.

Brendon shrugged, " _can't say they'd be overly impressed_ ", he took a long sip of his drink before continuing, " _you never answered my question: have you sacked Orla?",_

Assumpta shook her head, " _no, why would I? I can't just sack someone because you, Niamh and Siobhan think she's up to something. That's unfair dismissal and I've a buisness to run_ "

" _Aye, it is. But what if I told you Paidrig had some information about Orla_?"

 _"It wouldn't change a thing unless she's had her hand in the till. I can't sack someone for being a suspected interfering busy body_ ", she said dismissively as he started cleaning the taps, " _anyway, what does he know?_ ",

" _Dunno, he won't say_ ". The teacher knew that would be enough to spark his former pupil's interest. If she was lucky Paidrig would tell her what he knew to aviod her wrath, if not then it would be upto her to decide if she wanted to share the details of her romantic expliots.

*

Paidrig didn't hear Assumpta enter the garage over the sound of the radio, his focus was on changing the break fluid on a holiday maker's car, so when he noticed her standing only a couple of feet away he almost jumped out of his skin.

it didnt take long for Assumpta's threat of barring and her anger to convinve Paidrig to tell her abour his investigation. As Paidrig's account progressed Assumpta could feep herself becoming more and more annoyed; initially at Paidrig for not telling hef about what had been going in sooner, but she was infiruatex T Irla for interfering in her life. It wasnt until she turned to leave that Paidrig finally had the courage to ask her who she had been seeing. Assumpta, tired and generally fed-up with the entire situation, ignored her better judgement and told Paidraig, who dropped his spanner in surprise.

It had started to rain while Assumpta had been at the garage. Paidrig had offered her a brolly, but her pride and annoyence refused to let her take it. Instead she opted to jog back to the pub while hitching up her skirt to aviod them hem soaking up the rainwater from the ground.

As she hurried along the cobbled streets back to the pub Assumpta could feel the cold rain sting her cheeks and the wind burn her ears. It wasn't until she reached the door to the pub that she realised she had been crying, not out of sadness, but frustration and anger.

When she entered the pub Assumpta wasn't surprised to see Orla leaning over the bar flirting with an American tourist. Seeing the barmaid smiling and laughing caused another surge of anger to rise from her stomach, " _Orla. Kitchen. Now"._

Several customers, including Donal, Liam, and Ambrose turned to face the publican. The three men had all witnessed, and been on the recieving end of, Assumpta's temper, but she always reighed it in during tourist season to keep the punters happy, so her outright display meant something must've really riled her.

" _But we have customers_ ", the barmaid protested while gesturing to the regulars and tourists at the bar. The landlady was well aware that the regulars would be annoyed if they weren't served promptly, but it's hardly bad for buisness, but upsetting tourists was another matter; that could have consequences.

Assumpta quickly surveyed the patrons waiting to be served and considered her options, " _Ambrose watch the ba_ r". The gard was a stickler for protocol and she knew he was her safest bet to ensure the till remained balanced.

" _I'm on duty Assumpta"_ , the gard replied moving a few inches away from the bar as though physical distence would reiterate his objection.

" _No you're not. You're havin' a sandwich_ ".

At that point Ambrose knew the battle was lost so he reluctantly moved to the otherside of the bar, " _but be quick. I could lose my job over this_ ".

As soon as Ambrose took on his new position as barman Orla strode confidently into the kitchen, but stopped dead in her tracks when she saw the book in the middle of the table. Momentarily she lost her train of thought and hitched her breath, but quickly came to her senses when she heard the door click and Assumpta's footsteps from behind her.

" _Assumpta, what's wrong?_ ", the barmaid asked in the most fake nonchalant voice anyone could've mustered.

The landlady made her way to the table and rested one hand on the book before holding eye contact with her employee. She needn't say anything, the look on her face and the knowing expression in her eyes was enough to make Orla speak.

 _"I wanted to help you. To warn you. Save you from shame",_ the barmaid said quickly,

" _From what exactly? Love? Happiness?_ ",

Assumpta's words had made her feel uncomfortable. " _The consequences of your actions. In small villages, like this one, you'd be oestratcised for much less then carrying on with the former curate"._

Asumpta felt her anger bubble to the top, threatening tonspill over. She clenched her fists in an attempt to maintain her composure, " _how dare you judge me_ ", she said in almost a whisper,

" _I'm not judging you. You're a good person. I wanted to warn you. I wanted to do it without embarrassing you"_ ,

Assumpta scoffed and took a deep breath, " _so, do think thay makes you any better then Kathleen? Not wanting to embarras me? Maybe you should go join her sweeping the steps to the shop_ ", but she didn't allow Orla to respond, " _you're fired. Get your things and leave"_

" _Fired? I wanted to help you! You're firing me because I tried to help you?"_

That ws the final straw. Assumpta had tried to keep her anger and frustration bottled up, but the indignation of the woman standing in front of her was he boiling point, " _Help me! Help me! Why do you care who I see? You've never even met Peter. You don't know what a kind, caring and generous person he is. You don't know how lucky I am that someone like him would even give me ansecond look -_ "

" _If he is so wonderful then why are you hear alone? Why have you been moping around?"_ , Orla interrupted, " _I want you to be happy Assumpta. I care about you"_ ,

Peter had also said those words to her, and she never asked him what he meant, but she was sure as hell going to ask Orla. " _What does that even mean: I care about you?"_ ,

" _Exactly what it sounds like"_ the blonde haired woman replied, clearly unsettled by this turn of conversation,

Now Assumpta felt uncomfortable, " _Leave_ "

" _But_ \- "

" _Leave_ ".

Assumpta watched Orla walk out of the door wondering whether her former employee's words had meant what she suspected.


	29. Out Of The Mouths Of Ba (08-24 22:57:27)

_**A/N** : really sorry for the delay in uploads. The carpal tunnel flare-up has become so bad that I'm now on prescription pain meds. I actually wrote a version of this and the next chapter after taking some. That was an interesting read in the morning! (here's an example: ynag was being anle to liste. to the nes jeadlines over yhe yio)_

 _I am sorry for the gap between uploads. Really sorry. Please stick with me - we're nearly there_ : _2 more chapters (which will be uploaded together)_

*

When Peter returned from his last home visit of the day he was relieved to see that the office was almost empty. Over the last couple of weeks he had become accustomed to the pitying looks, averted glances, and hushed voices whenever he was in earshot, but he was starting to become irratated and wasn't sure how long he'd be able to maintain a polite and friendly demeanour.

However, his relief was short lived. Before he even had the chance to sit down at his desk one of his colleagues had approached him to ask if he had found the visit difficult,

" _No. Why would I?_ ". It was a pretty standard visit. He needed to check on the welfare of the children and the cleanliness of the house.

" _Well, you know_ ", the middle aged woman paused and gave Peter an all to familiar sad smile before continuing, " _isn't the mother pregnant again?_ ",

" _And? Why would that bother me?_ ". It was a cruel question, and one he knew the answer to. His colleague was only trying to be nice, supportive even, and judging from her expression he'd delt her a low blow. As soon as he'd spoken she became visibly uncomfortable; wringing her hands, averting her eyes and biting her lip - he immediately felt guilty. " _Sorry Sandra. I shouldn't play dumb. It went well. It was fine. I am fine. Thank you for asking_ ", and he gave her a quick smile to reinforce his words.

For two weeks these were the kind of exchanges he had become subject to. The whole office knew Charlotte had moved to Dorset to be closer to her dad, and the whole office knew she was pregnant and thay Peter wasn't the father.

At first many people, especially those on Charlotte's floor, had assumed Peter was responsible for the couple's split, and the gossip was that he had refused to move to be near her ailing father and didnt want their baby. It wasnt until a guy in her floor had lost his temper with the constant talk of " _Charlotte and Peter's poor baby"_ and announced he was the child's father, that people began to feel sorry for the former priest.

At first Peter had found their sympathy reassuring because it enabled him to ignore his guilt over his affair with Assumpta, but after a few weeks he just wanted them to move on and mind their own business.

*

As Peter drove home, for the last time, he prayed that Charlotte was safe and happy. He had never meant to hurt her; he had succumbed to the sin of the flesh, lust and deciet. Although he felt guilty about his actions he knew that both their indiscretions meant they didnt belong together. It was true that they both had loved eachother, but his heart was with soneonelse and that wasn't remotely fair on her. Charlotte also admitted she was partially to blame, the consequences of her indiscretion blatently obvious, but admitted she knew thetr was part of his jeart hshe couldnt access and she needed someone to love her wholly; if Peter loved her - really loved her - he would forgive her.

They had argued, primarly about Peter's affair and her attempts to manipulate him onto believeing the child was his - when she knew full well it wasn't - causing shouted accusations of selfishness and immorality. Which, if they were honest, both parties were guilty of.

*

Without Charlotte to pay half of the rent Peter couldn't afford to continue living at his current address, so once again he was due to stay at his sister's. The flat had been rented furnished, like most in the soon-to-be-city, and he had let Charlotte take the majority of the electronics and soft furnishings, so all he really had left to his name was his clothes and a few personal nik-naks and keepsakes.

After he had collected his megre belongings and returned the keys to the lettings agency he headed to his sister's house.

*

" _What happened to the pretty lady who spoke funny_?" Peter's eldest niece asked as he tucked her in bed. Anne and Toby had gone out for dinner, leaving their recurrent house guest to babysit their children.

" _She went back to Ireland_ ",

" _Why_?"

 _"I upset her. She is mad at me_."

" _what did you do to make her mad_?"

Peter paused - thinking - where should he start? He knew she'd left because Charlotte had turned up, becuse he hadn't finished things with her, but also because she jeard charlotte announce she was pregant, and - understandibly- she assumed the baby was his.

 _"I lied to he_ r",

" _Lying is bad_ ", she said as pulled her duvet tighter in an attempt to banish the cold, _"it make's people sad. Did you make her sad_?",

" _I think so"_ ,

" _Say_ _sorry. That will make her happy_. _You must always say sorry when you hurt someone's feelings_ "

 _"I don't think it would_ _make her happy_ " he sighed, "I'm not sure what would",

" _Say sorry and tell the truth_. _If you tell the truth and it's bad then you know you tried to make her happy, but if you don't then you haven't tried. If you don't try because you're scared, then that means you've been really mean"_ ,

' _Out of the mouths of babes'_ Peter thought as he tucked his niece into bed.


	30. That's All I Have to Say

It was lunctime when Peter finally arrived in Ballykea. He had taken his niece's advice, but was starting to doubt how wise it was to be listening to advice from a six year old really was. Of course Abby didn't understand, or even know about, the complexities of adult relationships, but her innocence meant she saw the world in black and white, and although Peter knew the world wasn't that simple, he also believed that sometimes the simplest path was the best one to take.

Assumpta had left because she thought Charlotte was pregnant with his child, he didnt follow her and he didnt takethe opportunity to correct her. Why? Because he was a coward and he knew it. If he let Assumpta leave then he would have the happy memories of their few days together, precious memories of the woman he loved, unspoiled by the 'real life' aspects of adulting. If he had gone after her, corrected her, then he risked the passage of time destroying what precious and happy moments they had. He was a coward. Plain and simple.

Peter parked his hire car near Hendly's and for almost an hour he watched tourists come and go from the pub. He had spent the entire drive to the airport, the flight, and the drive to Ballykea trying to plan what he was going to say, and work up the courage to face Assumpta. As he sat watching the tourists knowing he'd never feel comfortable going in, knowing he.was scared she'd outrigh refuse to see or speak to him, so he decided that he might as well bite the bullet and get it over with.

When he entered the pub he was relieved to see copious amounts of tourists. He hadn't wanted to see the regulars, partly because he assumed they'd want to talk to him and partly because he'd feel even more self-conscience bearing his soul to Assumpta in their presence.

As he approached the bar through the crowds of American tourists he noticed Liam and Donal leaning against the bar,

" _Father_! _Long time no see_ " Liam exclaimed standing up to greet the former curate.

" _You're in Ballykea_ ", Donal added. Their words caused a few of the locals to look up from their drinks, and in Brendon's case his paper.

" _Liam, Donal_ ", he acknowledged giving a curt nod to his former parishioners, " _it's not father anymore, just Peter_ ".

It was upon hearing his dulcet tone that Assumpta looked up from wiping the pump, their eyes meeting momentarily before she quickly turned away to fiddle with the till.

By this point the locals had gone quiet focusing their gazes on their former priest and the publican. It was well known within the village that Peter and Assumpta had feelings for eachother; some people had noticed their shared glances and private jokes, while others, as Liam put it, had seen their "hungry eyes", but it was clear from their demeanour and the tension in the air, that since Peter had left Ballykea something had transpired between the two.

" _Assumpta, can we talk?_ ",

She didn't answer

" _Assumpta, please_ ", this time he was almost begging

Still nothing,

 _"It's not mine_ ", the Englishman announced after she didn't respond.

" _It's not mine_ ", he repeated, this time louder and with more furvour

" _But you thought it was"_ she finally managed, still not facing him.

The meaning behind her words struck him like a punch to the chest. He stood in silence. All eyes in the pub were on him, including some baffled but intrigued tourists who had no idea who the Englishman was, but the reactions of the locals meant it was worth watching.

He took a deep breath to ensure he kept his composure, " _why would I have thought any different?_ "

She threw down the bar towel that she'd been using to clean the pumps and till, quickly stomping off into the kitchen slaming the door behind her. She knew he was right, why would he have thought anything else, but that didnt change how much it hurt her to know he'd been intimate with that woman fairly recently. Of course, Assumpta knew Peter had a past, albeit less then hers, but she didnt want think about it, afterall, does anyone like thinking about their partner's exes. She knew she wasnt in a position to judge - she'd allowed Peter to kiss her while she was married to Leo and he was still a priest. She was certain that if she hadn't stopped him before the cloud of lust decended upon them both, then wouldve progressed much further quite quickly.

*

The landlady hadn't realised she'd been crying, but wiped her eyes with the back of her sleeve, resting her head against the kitchen table. She couldn't understand how Peter Clifford had so much control over her. It didn't make sense.

The she heard the door handle turn,

" _Go away Peter_ ", she mumbled,

" _I'm not Peter_ ", Brendon replied before sitting down at the table, " _but would ya really want me to go away if I were?_ ",

Assumpta glared at him with her red swollen eyes before taking the hankerchief her friend now offered.

" _You see_ ", the teacher continued in response to her silence, " _an East Asian legend says that when two people are meant to be together they are bound together through space and time by an invisible red thread. They may be worlds apart, but they are destined to meet and help eachother_ ", he paused to check his friend's response, " _sound familiar_?"

Assumpta averted her eyes as she feared they'd betray her thoughts. Yes, it sounded familiar. Her and Peter were like chalk and cheese, although she had been much more ameanable in his company and with his influence, and it was possible fate had sent him to Ballykea, that fate had made the electronic confessional fall into the path of his bus, and given him the idea to walk. She was almost certain it had been fate that her meeting in Cilldargon had overrun and as a result she'd seen Peter walking in the rain. Something about the priest had drawn her to him, there had been a 'spark', some kind of connection between them as soon as they'd met, and as time had passed it had become stronger and they'd become closer.

After the incident in Niamh's kitchen and his departure She'd thought about him constantly. In her more foolish moments she had even considered going to England to find him.

" _So you're saying that some people are meant to be together and that you think thats the case for me and Peter?_ ",

" _I'm not saying anything, other than telling you about an old East Asian legend. Make of it what you will_ ", he replied as he patted her shoulder in an attempt to provide comfort.

Although the room was silent, Assumpta didnt notice Peter enter the room.

" _I'll leave you both to it_ " Brendon said, ensuring he gave Peter a 'watch yourself' look before leaving.

" _Assumpta, please can we talk_?"

" _Go away Peter_ ",

" _Is that what you want? For me to go away? Because if it is - what you really want - then I will_ "

" _It doesn't matter what I want though, does it? You'll just do whatever you want anyway. You always do"_

He was confused and unsure of her meaning; he always put others first, or at least he tried to. He tried to be alteristic, surely she knew that.

" _You_ _always do what you want_ ", Assumpta repeated,

 _"I always do what I want? What exactly is that supposed to mean?_ ", his voice betraying his hurt and concern that she didn't know him as well as he thought,

" _It means exactly what it sounds like. You always do what you want: for years you kept giving me little indications you felt something more for me than friendship. You did things like hold my hand, touch my face, you made me think that there was something there. Then you tell me that whatever was there, actually wasn't there, and that was it. You go away - run away even - and leave me to deal with my feelings. Then, once I'm married, you kiss me. You kiss me and its clear how you feel. Then you leave - again - and go back to England. Not once did you ask me about how I felt. Did you even consider my feelings? You just did what you wanted regardless of the implications_ ",

Peter couldn't believe her audacity, " _did I think about anyone else?!"_ , he was almost shouting; he couldn't believe that she'd say something so hurtful. " _All I think about is you. When I was a priest you emcompassed my every waking moment, you invaded my dreams. You are the one who acted selfishly Assumpta - not me - afterall, I was a priest. What was i meant to do? You would indicate you had feelings for me; the petition, my birthday party, the tipsy conversation in the bar. I was confused. You shook the very foundation of my being. I love God and wanted to serve him, but I also wanted you. You made me question God. You made me question why I wasn't allowed to be with you and why God would want me to suffer when I devoted my life to him. I went on retreat because I was confused. I was a priest and I was always thinking of you. You married another man and yet you still allowed me to kiss you -_ "

 _"I stopped it",_ she interrupted

" _Yes, but you didn't resist_ "

The pair looked at eachother, niether wanting to speak in case they made the situation worse. Assumpta knew Peter was right, she didn't resist, and if she'd have had a few glasses of wine from the bottle she had brought with her then she probably wouldn't have stopped him at all.

When the awkward silence finally got the better of her Assumpta spoke. " _If it was your child what would you have done?"_

"W _hatever you'd have wanted me to do_ "

" _You couldn't put that on me Peter. That's a coward's answer"_.

"I a _m a coward_ "

" _And don't I know it_ " she said as she stormed past him back into the bar.

*

As soon as Assumpta had stepped over the threshold she started serving her increasingly impaitent and irritated patrons.

" _Assumpta - please -_ ", the Manchurian voice came from the kitchen doorway

" _Go away Peter or I'lI bar you_ ",

" _You'll have to call Ambrose to make me leave_ ", he said defiantly crossing him arms across his chest,

" _No she won't"_ Brendon interceded grabbing Paidrig by the arm and pulling him to his feet,

" _Really Brendon?_ ", but he got no response other than a firm stare. The tourists looked on in wide-eyed bemusement. It really looked like the two old timers might drag the young Englishman from the pub.

" _Fine, I'll leave",_ the locals let out a collective sigh, and all but a few of the tourists seemed disappointed, but the pub remained silent, watching the visitor walk towards the exit.

Just as Peter opened the door he turned to face the publilcan one more time.

" _Know this; I love you Assumpta Fitzgerald. Meeting you turned my world upside down. Everything I knew - believed - to be true was thrown into question. For years you have been the first thing I think of in the morning and the last thing I think of at night. I'd think of you when I said mass, I'd say the words and go through the motions, but it was you I was thinking of. Regardless of what Father Mac said, I knew you weren't temptation sent by God to test my resolve, I knew you weren't sent by the Devil to pull me into the firey abyss, I knew - know - you are part of God's grace. I tried to move on, tried to be happy, but there was something missing, and that something was you. You have my heart. Without you I am not whole. I've made mistakes, but Ive always asked the wrong person for forgiveness - it is you who can give me absolution for those sins. I love you Assumpta. I love you more than you can ever know. If you want me to walk out this door and never see or speak to you again then I will. I will because I love you. I will because all I want is your happiness. I love you. That will never change"_ , then after a momentary paused to catch his breath he ended his speech, " _that's all I have to say"._

The entire pub was so still that you could've heard a mouse. All eyes were on Assumpta as she walked towards Peter who was still holding the door slightly ajar.

There was an audible intake of breath from the spectators as she reached round him and gripped the handle.

She gently pushed it closed.


	31. Epilogue

Anne sat on the bed inspecting her dark green shoes when the loud rap on the bedroom door startled her. She quickly fastened her shoes and walked slowly across the room (now was not a time for a broken or sprained ankle), and opened the door a crack to check who was in the hallway. Upon seeing the coast was clear she was greeted by a large, broad smile.

" _I believe these are yours_ " the Irshman said. Her youngest daughter was sitting on his shoulders while her eldest was standing paitently next to him. " _Mine's already downstairs by the car with Niamh and Ciaran_ ".

Anne took her daughter's hands (once her youngest had been removed from his shoulders) and turned to the other woman in the room, " _I'll see you in a bit_ ".

*

Brendon waited for the door to close before speaking, " _you look beautiful_ ",

" _I never thought I'd be dressed like this_ " she mused, looking at herself in the mirror before turning to face the school teacher, " _I certainly never thought I'd be doing this there - of all places",_

" _Well, there's still time to change your mind"_ he said with a serious expression,

" _Oh, bog off will you_ ". The words slipped out naturally as a response to years of his teasing,

The headteacher laughed and with a smile replied " _somethings never change_ ", but after surveying Assumpta in her wedding dress ready to go to St. Joseph's to marry a former priest, he added " _but then again, somethings do_ ".

THE END

 _ **A/N** : Thank you for taking time to read this. There are several points where I considered going down a different route, and even coming to a different ending, but I wanted a happy ending. But feel free to write any yourselves if you fancy it. Or even if you want to improve or elaborate on my story._

 _Thanks again._


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